The Library (The Librarian of Alexandria Book 1) by Casey White (ebook reader 8 inch .TXT) 📗

was my heart, I think.  My fate was sealed before I even set eyes on you.  Nothing you or I did would have changed that.  That’s life, kid.  Don’t be too sad.

Maybe I should have taken Adrian’s offer, years back.  He said he’d set me up with someone, someone young and prepared to take over the place.  You don’t have to let them pick for you, Daniel.  You can choose your own, if you like.  I thought I was going to.  I thought, Adrian’s an ass.  I didn’t want his fingers in Alexandria’s business, even that much.

Guess I was right on that too.  Here’s hoping Indira’s better.  She’s a sweet one.  Kinder than her predecessor, I think.  But she’s got a sharp head on her shoulders, too, and don’t forget it.  Power has a way of seeping under people’s skin and changing them.  The guild is on their own side, not ours.  We need them.  But be careful.

I hope both of you can be better than Adrian and I were.

There was a gap, then, like she’d paused for a moment and hadn’t quite gotten settled onto the right line when she came back.

I killed you.

Daniel’s blood froze.  He stared down at the words, his heart beating faster still.

That’s how I see it.  I told myself I didn’t have a choice.  I told myself it was necessary.  But I took a little boy from his family and I killed him.  I wiped him blank until everything that made him Daniel was gone.  And then I built him up again to suit my own needs.

I took that boy from you.  Your life.  Your family.  Your future.  And that’s something I can’t ever give back.  That day, when I brought you inside, I realized it.  I knew I couldn’t possibly make you understand.  You were a scared child who wanted his parents.  So I ran away from the issue, and sacrificed your own freedom in the process.

I should have told you while I was still alive.  I should have explained everything.  I should have been better, but I was too afraid.

You’ll be a fine Librarian.  That much, I believe completely.  Believe in your instincts.  Trust your senses.  You were born to this, however unwillingly.  I’ll accept the sin of that if it gives you a chance to thrive.

If I could give you the chance to choose your fate, I would.  I would trade anything for it.  That’s a right I never should have taken away from you.

I pray that Alexandria takes mercy on my soul.  I won’t expect it from you.

You were the final light that shone when the rest of the world was going dark.  I didn’t deserve that companionship.  But it made an old lady’s last task just a little easier.

Jean Morris

He stared at the last fragments of her writing, fixing his eyes on her name.  If he kept staring, he didn’t have to acknowledge the moisture burning in the corners of his eyes, the lump that swelled in his throat.  A thousand emotions roiled through him.  Grief.  Confusion.  Anger.  Fear.

He’d known.  He’d known all along.  There was nothing so new here.

But it was different.

There were other books.  No doubt, all of them contained the information he’d been missing - her life, and her experiences, and whatever else had taken place between her and Adrian.  Jean was still here, in a way, even if she’d faded long ago.

Soon, he’d begin.  He’d tear through them, digging out every scrap of knowledge that could be useful.

For now...

He pulled the book closer to his chest, until he couldn’t see the words anymore.  His head lolled back against the headboard.  Her words filled his mind, whispering louder and louder until he could hardly hear himself think.  The words she’d written - and the words she’d said, that long-past day in the sitting room.

He could still see her smile, sad and small.  He could see the sheen of the firelight across her silver-grey hair.

Soon, he’d start working again.

For now, he closed his eyes, remembering.

- Chapter Thirty-One -

The shelves drifted by.  Owl walked, hardly noticing them.  Periodically, he glanced down an aisle, scanning for a telltale glow.  All he found were books.

Right then, with his head still spinning, he’d almost welcome a dreamer.  He’d hoped that some distance and some time would settle his thoughts.  Thus far, the handful of days that’d passed since he read Jean’s journals had done nothing of the sort.  If time wouldn’t do it, he reasoned, maybe distracting himself with some work would.

Only now, Alexandria seemed quieter than ever.

He sighed, turning away, and trudged deeper into the halls.

If he wasn’t occupied with work, he should spend some time on his work.  His marketing algorithms were hitting the point of near perfect - at least until something went and shattered them again - but his coding was still years away from being done.  He should count his blessings and do whatever he could to make the most of the break. Maybe he could start trying to use his new magical insights to bridge the gap between Alexandria and the outside world. It’d be better than this.

But every time he sat down at his desk, he thought of Jean.  Of what she was afraid of.  Which led him to Indira, and the things she’d said, all of which circled around and around and filled his mind with the stink of smoke and the taste of chocolate.  The more pressing problems screamed at the forefront - of Olivia, and her offer, and what the guild wanted him to agree to.

Behind it all lurked the tang of blood and rot.  That dark, dank room leered up at him every time he closed his eyes.  He’d been reading as many of the books contained in that hidden library as he could bear.  He’d started to process the stories told within - of the rest of the mages out there.  Demibloods, they called themselves, apparently.  It was all a blur, and yet, one thing