Deep (Heavy Hearts Book 2) by Sarah Duncan (red seas under red skies txt) 📗

turned into Der, and Marcus turned into Suc. We used to love teasing Marcus about his secret code name. Mine is still the best. Well, I think so, anyway.

“I don’t know what happened,” I whisper, feeling self-disgust darken my mood.

Jared sighs. “You’ve been through a lot, Lex. Best not to overthink it. Besides,” reaching out, Jared takes my hand, “That motherfucker has it coming to him. Trashing his room is the least of his problems.”

I grin at the ferocity of Jared’s voice. He’s always been protective of me, even when we were kids.

“Lex,” he hesitates before sighing again, “why didn’t you tell me? Or Abbey? We could have done something. Helped in some way.”

My cheeks heat in humiliation, and I drop my eyes from his intense gaze.

“I don’t really know how to answer that.” I shrug. “I guess I felt so ashamed. I couldn’t comprehend saying the words out loud. I didn’t know how to.”

I don’t feel like my words make any sense, but Jared nods anyway and stands from the floor to tower over me. Like the other guys, Jared isn’t wearing his school uniform, so they must have gone home to get changed before they came over.

“We can’t change the past, Lexi. But we can sure as shit make sure you’re looked after from now on.”

“I don’t need looking after, Jar.” I force strength into my voice this time. I’m not weak, and I need him to know.

“Maybe. But it doesn’t mean we don’t want to look after you.”

He has me there.

Reaching up, Jared runs the backs of his fingers over my bruised face. It feels intimate. Too intimate. Without even thinking, I jerk back, ultimately showing Jared that I’m not comfortable with him touching me like that. His gentle touch reminds me of Ayden, but he’s not Ayden. He’s my childhood friend. I struggle to hold back my tears but somehow manage and silently high five myself for winning that internal battle.

Jared probably thinks I’m upset about what Mike did to me, and while that is part of it, a hell of a lot of my emotional turmoil is all for the blue-eyed, dark-haired, dimpled cheeked guy I left behind in Melbourne. The guy who took a chunk of my heart.

Not acting offended by my reaction, Jared offers me a lopsided grin which reminds me very much of the blonde-haired, blue-eyed, bratty boy I grew up with.

“Come on. The boys have pizza. We better get out there before they eat it all on us.”

Tugging on my hand, Jared eases me down from the bench and leads the way out of my mum’s room. It’s easy to tell where the boys are as we head towards the front living room, where they argue loudly over something to do with football.

“If Bombers win, you have to strip off and run to the corner of the street and back.”

A small grin tugs at my mouth as we enter the living room. I love the stupid banter between these guys. Simon is a diehard Bombers fan and is adamant that they will beat Sydney in tonight’s game airing live on TV. He would never make such a bet if he didn’t believe his team would win.

“You sick bastard, you just want to get a look at my mammoth cock! We all know Bombers are gonna win tonight.” Shaun, or as the girls refer to him, Spanish Casanova, grabs his crotch, giving it a shake as he answers Simon.

“Fuck off man. I don’t want to see your crooked sausage.”

Everyone laughs at Simon’s response before they notice my presence.

“Here, Lexi. We saved you some pizza.” Garrett offers, jumping up from the couch to hand me a small pizza box. His eyes are just as intense as Jared’s as he passes me the box, so I break the eye contact, quickly muttering “thanks” before taking a seat on the other couch along the back wall.

I ignore their silent stares and nibble at the pizza before Marcus re-directs their attention to their footy debate. Thank you, Marcus!

I take my sweet time nibbling on the same slice of pizza until I’m sure they won’t notice that I’ve hardly eaten any of it and then slip it back into the box. My appetite is still lacking, and eating right now just isn’t something I can fathom.

I’m quiet. Too quiet. The boys notice but say nothing and instead keep the conversation light. I feel embarrassed that they witnessed me losing my shit. I loathe myself for it. I’m drowning in a deep cold abyss that chills my heart, and it’s almost impossible to hide the effects now.

I feel myself spiralling from my own thoughts, but this time a strange numbness takes over me, and I no longer hear the conversations around me. Dark thoughts consume my mind, and even though I can still see the guys talking and throwing the occasional arm corkie, I can’t hear much else but white noise. I see the moment when Marcus and Jared notice. They share a look before Jared moves across my living room and sits next to me on the couch, wrapping his arm around my shoulders and pulling me into his side. I don’t protest because honestly, the contact is comforting. My heart wishes it was Ayden, but my brain knows that isn’t going to happen. Ayden made it clear that he was done with me.

At some point, I fall asleep. It isn’t a heavy sleep because I swear, I can hear the boys bicker right through the evening, but I rest just below the surface of knowing what they are saying. It’s oddly comforting to be surrounded by the noise after being alone in this quiet house for most of the week.

Sometime later, I’m pulled awake to the sounds of… well, sex. Moaning and panting shocks me into staying silent, and I pop one eye open to peek at whatever the hell is going on. I’m no longer in Jared’s arms but laying on the couch I’d been