Loonatics Undressed by Kyell Gold (a book to read .txt) 📗

his field of vision. “You have been actin’ awful funny lately,” he said to Duck.

“I’ve been acting funny?” He drew out the “I” for at least three full seconds. “I have been acting funny? Oh ho ho, if only you knew. I am far from the funniest member of this team. Far from it.”

“Well,” Ace said, “that’s certainly true. I guess yer not drunk.” He walked away, leaving Duck sputtering.

Tech bent back to his work, shaking his head. He heard Rev say, “I guess I gotta get out on patrol you ready Slam?” and heard the devil’s answering growl. Though he didn’t see anything, he felt the briefest touch of a beak on his whiskers and a hand on his tail, felt the breath of wind, and heard the whispered, “Beep!” as the roadrunner zipped by.

After that, even Duck coming to stare over his shoulder couldn’t dim his smile.

Connections

1

Ever since the meteor had struck Acmetropolis, Tech E. Coyote had found the process of inventing to be a strange one. He was seeing pathways and connections he’d never figured out before, and they always, always worked. It was as if someone had taken the bumbling inventor out of graduate school and said, not quite like that, look, just turn slightly to the right, doesn’t that make more sense? Usually, his gadgets came from his own knowledge, but sometimes, it was as if someone was showing him what to do, guiding his paws, and that made him feel a little uneasy when the rest of the team praised him for his inventions.

Uneasiness or no, sometimes he wished that that power applied to other areas of his life as well.

“Listen, Jet,” he said into the small phone, “I don’t technically get paid in money, not the kind I could send you.” Even if I wanted to.

“You could at least call once in a while,” his older brother said. “Mom asks about you all the time.”

“I bet she does,” Tech said, and then cursed himself for saying it out loud. “So how’s everything back in the Warren?”

“Sucks. Not like you care.”

Beep. Thank the powers. “Hey, I have another call coming in.”

“That’s okay. I’m sure we’ll chat in another six years.”

There were at least a dozen things he could have said to that, but none constructive. He sighed, and clicked over to the next call.

“Tech!” The voice was familiar, as all the calls had been that day, and like most of them, he couldn’t place it. “Hey, it’s Sal! Long time no hear!”

For the first time that morning, Tech’s ears perked up. “Sal! What’s it been, three years? You back from the pole?”

“I am, and what do I find but my furriest colleague part of a super-hero team! Let me tell you, either you need a new photographer or a new uniform because those things do not flatter you. Primary colors are so fifties. And those gloves and boots—clunk city!”

It felt good to laugh. “If I leave the uni at the base, will you be seen with me in public?”

They met at the Orbital Donut, a balcony cafe on the fiftieth floor of a skyscraper near the university they’d both attended. Sal was writing his doctoral thesis on sociological conditions in the poorer neighborhoods near the poles of the city-planet, but he brushed past that in a sentence and spent the first fifteen minutes talking about his latest flame. “He came to the expedition as a replacement a year ago and oh-my-god Tech, he was gorgeous, and a beautiful mind to match. Sure, he’s Sculpted, but what self-respecting gay man isn’t, these days?” He swung his shoulders back to show off his perfectly formed chest. “So anyway, he came back with me and is serving as inspiration while I finish writing. And what inspiration he is, let me tell you.”

Tech grinned. “I’m really happy for you, Sal.”

“So am I.” Sal licked his lips. “So what about you? You ever find someone?”

“Nah. I mean, well, kind of. I don’t know.”

Sal’s bushy black hair swung forward as he leaned across the table. “So there is someone. Dish!”

“No, not really. I mean, he’s just this guy, and we kinda…” Work together. “…met one day and just hit it off. Physically, you know.” And more, lately. “I don’t know if it’s going any further.”

“But you want it to.” Sal picked up a donut and chewed on it.

“I don’t know. Things are already getting too complicated. Someone found out about us.”

“Someone on your team?”

“Yeah.”

“The roadrunner? He seems like he’d be the sort to go poking his beak into all kinds of places. With that super-speed and all, he could be in and out before you even noticed.”

Tech choked on his coffee and tried not to giggle. “Uh, no, not him. It was, uh, Danger Duck.”

Sal rolled his eyes. “You sure can pick ’em.”

“I didn’t pick ’em. We were pulled together by… oh, I probably shouldn’t tell you.”

The young man held up a hand. “Say no more, my fuzzy friend. I don’t want to be burdened with any trade secrets. Just glad to see you’re doing well. This whole superpower thing is pret-ty sweet.”

“I guess.” Tech remembered another question he’d had for Sal. “Oh, I didn’t just ask you here to catch up and talk about our personal lives. I wanted to ask if you observed any effects of the meteor down in the Warren.”

Sal shook his head. “There was a tremor, a big one, lots of property damaged. Not too many people killed, though. They’re still rebuilding—the few people who care enough to.”

“Nothing supernatural?”

“Not unless you count the layer of ash that got all over everything for weeks and was supernaturally resistant to water.” He made a face. “But remember, I was half a world away from the impact. You were right at ground zero, kind of.”

“Yeah.” Tech stroked his whiskers.

“Why d’you ask, Brainy?”

“Just a theory I’m working on.” He got up. “I need to hit the john. I’ll