Acid Rain by R.D Rhodes (literature books to read .txt) 📗

I am opening up to now? A mass consciousness that is dormant in all of our souls? And we’re all a part of this plan, because He loves us? But how much of this is in my subconscious? How much of this is Freud’s iceberg that I’m not aware of?

Don’t doubt, she said. But if it’s not just my imagination, then, like Harry said, people in the hospital were very likely tapping into this too. I wasn’t even there a week but maybe that was what Sandra was actually doing, when she was talking to God down that toilet? But the drugs they’re on suppresses most of that stuff, like with Sandy. Who was that guy Harry talked about, that said all forms of transcendence are crushed by society? Maybe that is what is happening to them, their higher levels being brought down. But great claims need great proof. I don’t know, but I wish everyone could feel like this all the time. I feel so divine. That everything is just so, as it’s meant to be. But what do I know? I’m dumb as fuck and know nothing. No, you know a lot. No, I know nothing. I’m stupid and know nothing. And I need to keep telling myself it, keep the ego down.

I walked across the road, checking to see and it being confirmed- the glen was still all mine. Not a soul around for miles. I approached the loch, feeling like I weighed less than the wind that blew into the open space.

The blue sky shimmered in the water below the stone I threw out. I threw out another and another. My arm didn’t feel part of me. I was just occupying this body, but it wasn’t really me. I was about to pick up another stone, when I glanced down and spied a girl in the water.

I looked back at her.

The strange black hair didn’t seem like me; but the nose, the freckles, the eyes, the pale skin, it was me. And I liked what I saw. I stared back, and felt affection. The black hair reminded me of Nina, but I had gotten through that. This girl has done well, I thought. She is strong. She is brave. She is good. Her eyes have determination. Eyes that are now welling up. I love you, I told her. I love you, Aisha. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I smiled. She had a nice smile. Then I threw out one last stone, watched it skim eight times, and I turned around towards the road and the hill above it.

I crossed over into the forest, and I felt that energy building up again. The presence in the air, the wind and the trees, this invisible power, was hugging and warming me. I could feel it as sure as I could feel my boots digging into the ground. I closed my eyes and surrendered to it, and then a phrase popped into my head, the key to happiness is the ability to let go, and I abided and shook off all doubt.

I went back into slow awareness again, lifting my legs in large, elaborate strides and sauntering along, winging my arms. I’m weightless, I thought. But then maybe I am? I have nothing in me. No excess food baggage blocking my intestines and cramping my blood flow. I am free and light in this world of beauty.

Something was pulling me left. I wanted to follow every whim I was receiving, so I obeyed, heading away from the tent. The forest changed from birch to pine, whose red poles were bending elastically in the wind that was buffering the glen, and I was sheltered amongst them all, wrapped inside my own great blanket. I looked up through the stunning spiderweb branches, at the gorgeous blue swathes of sky poking through peaceful drifting white clouds, and I fell into a silent rapture. My joy continued to grow. I am so happy that I don’t know how to contain it, I thought. Or even what to do with it. I feel like I might spontaneously combust! There really is something in that wind, I can feel it all around me. It’s making me feel at home. But this is my home. This is where I feel safe, this is where I am me.

But it’s not just me that’s walking through these woods, I can feel my soul doing it too. Jesus, yes, my soul really is here with me. Totally in this moment. Wow, this is just… God it’s so beautiful. Everything is here. Right here. I just want to take all this in. I wish everyone could feel this, but how can you describe this to people with just words? It can only be felt. Oh, it’s coming through my soul. God! Jesus, man, Look at that sky! Look at the grass! That tree! Those birds! Listen to that wind! This place is just incredible! I can’t believe how at peace I feel. I’m connected with this presence, God, yes I am! And I’m repeating myself hahaha but I don’t care, I just want to drift through here for eternity. I don’t want to go anywhere or do anything but this, forever. This is church right here. This is transcendence.

I lost myself in that forest, drifting for hours, gazing up in awe at each new pine, at each break in the trees where the sun shone through, at the colors all around me, it was like another world.

And I thought I was onto some sort of epiphany when just then my world was fractured by a deafening, screaming noise which almost burst my eardrums, and a jumbo jet shot across the glen. The valley thundered like an earthquake, and the noise resonated long after it had passed. But he couldn’t see me amongst my trees. Bastards, I joked to myself, he’s broken my train of thought,