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even if he’d been blown to smithereens – somebody in authority would have written to let me know. Therefore, my heart is telling me that somewhere my Eddie is alive. The problem is, I don’t know who to ask for information.’

‘That is something I might be able to help you with. I’ll write some letters and see what comes of it.’

Ruby thanked him. ‘It would be a great help if you could, even if it’s bad news. I’ll have some closure, at least. In a way, I’ve already moved on with my life. So much has changed – but I do still love my husband. I need to know what happened to him.’

‘Ruby, I hope you don’t mind me asking . . .’ Derek looked uncomfortable as he tried to find the right words. ‘It’s like this. Mum wrote to me often, and when she did, she told me things about you and what you were doing. She implied that you weren’t faithful to Eddie.’

Ruby shook her head. ‘I’ve never been unfaithful to my husband. I’m surprised Stella thought I had. I will say, in my defence, that she did act rather strangely towards me at times. You see, when Frank lived here as my lodger – when I was expecting Pat – he thought it best that we let the world see us as a couple. Frank was worried about my reputation, what with Eddie not being seen for some years, and then me expecting a child. Pat is Eddie’s,’ she added hastily. ‘He came back for just the one night and . . .’ She coloured up as she stumbled over her words.

‘There’s no need to explain to me,’ Derek smiled.

‘I want to. You seem to understand the friendship between Frank and Stephen. In a way, our deceit was convenient for me and for Frank. We both appeared to be respectable to anyone who watched us, which was important at the time. When Eddie returned before he headed off to the front, I explained everything to him, and as far as I knew our marriage was back on an even keel. We corresponded while he was away, and I thought all was well.’

Derek looked a little sheepish.

‘Is there something you’ve not told me?’ she asked, as warning bells started to ring.

‘I showed Eddie some of the letters where Mum mentioned you . . .’

Ruby was shocked. ‘Oh no! Why did you do that?’

‘You’ve got to remember that we are – were – comrades. When men are thrown together like that, fighting and putting up with all sorts, we tend to bond. Eddie could be bloody irritating at times, brave but bolshie; and one day, when he kept saying how wonderful you were while I was tired and hungry, I pulled Mum’s letters out of my pocket and threw them at him.’

‘What did he say?’

‘Nothing. Only minutes after that, I was injured and didn’t see him again.’

Ruby put her head in her hands and sighed. Knowing how hot-headed Eddie could be, he could have done something really daft and, rather than write to ask her about Stella’s letters, simply vanished. It was then that Stella’s dying words came back to her . . .

‘I’m sorry, Ruby.’

‘That’s what your mum said just before she died . . . She was sorry.’

‘I’ll do all I can to find him for you.’

Ruby hoped that Derek would be true to his word. She just wanted her husband back home with her, safe and sound. Or, if the worst was true, she wanted to able to mourn him properly.

17

11th November 1919

‘Have you ever been to London before, Mum?’ Pat asked. She hung on to Ruby’s arm as they were jostled by the crowd. ‘Everyone seems so sad.’

Ruby looked through the crowd and could just see the outline of Buckingham Palace. ‘Yes, love, I came up to London when George was young. The late king had died, and we came to pay our respects. That day, we went to a place called Westminster in another part of London, and it took hours just to get to where the king’s body lay in state. That was even more sad than today, but we wouldn’t have missed it for the world.’

Ruby was thoughtful as she remembered the day. George would have been ten years of age. Stella had been alive, as had Donald, and all the men had been young, fit and happy without any thought of war hanging over their heads. She remembered Eddie had been missing that day, as he had so many others, and the sadness and fear that came to haunt her so often returned with a vengeance – but then she thought of their few stolen hours together later that night. ‘God, Eddie, how I miss you,’ she whispered to herself.

She looked around her at the men in uniform. So many still looked weary, but many wore their injuries with pride. There were as many men and women in uniform as there were in civilian clothes. Had it really only been a year since the guns stopped firing and Great Britain was declared the winner of the war?

She’d been at work that day, when word filtered through that the war was finally over. The women had laid down their tools, somewhat confused.

‘I suppose that means we’re out of work?’ Cissie had said as the foreman came over.

‘Keep working, girls, no one’s told us to stop. If you want to take home a pay packet at the end of the week, it’s best you do your quota. There’ll be other wars that need bombs,’ he’d said, smiling towards Ruby, who had been listening nearby.

And continue working they had. All Ruby knew was that she turned up at half past seven in the morning and stuffed explosives into bombs; where the bombs would end up being used, she wasn’t sure, but it wasn’t hers to question. So she donned overalls that covered her body, observed the rules of no hair clips or anything metallic that would cause a spark; and she worked hard, knowing the money

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