Infinity Reaper by Adam Silvera (best new books to read txt) 📗

“Why not? We may carry our pasts with us in every life, but we don’t have to be defined by them. Please show yourself a thousandth of the care you show others.”

For over a month I’ve been working hard to be the hero that everyone needs me to be and rarely fueling myself with happiness. That moment alone with the young phoenixes in the tower made me stronger, did something amazing for my soul.

“What if Nox throws me off midflight?”

“Then you’ll be thankful we haven’t clipped your wings yet. Come on, I want you to see the world that’s waiting for you on the other side of infinity.”

Wyatt scratches around Nox’s beak and hops onto his back. I can’t believe this is happening, not even as Wyatt hoists me up with him. There’s no saddle, which I know is out of respect for the phoenixes, and I feel like I’m sitting on a stiff mattress that’s covered with a smooth, feathery comforter. I run my fingers through Nox’s thick black feathers, sensing that he doesn’t mind me. It makes me feel better that he doesn’t distrust me after everything he’s been through during his lives. I’m able to relax more on top of him, as much as one can when riding a phoenix that’s bigger than a horse for the first time.

“Hold on,” Wyatt says over his shoulder.

“Around you?”

“Feel free to hug Nox’s arse if that’s preferable.”

I inch closer to Wyatt, wrapping my arms around his stomach and locking my fingers together. I lean into his back and can smell so many adventures on his jacket—fresh pine, wet grass, maybe even a couple flowers thrown in there; I wonder if one is Dayrose. He tells me to hold on tight, and I don’t think it’s necessary until Nox kicks off into the air. Then I hang on like I’m trying to merge into one being.

Flying on Nox is such an odd, freeing sensation, different from doing it by myself. I don’t have to try; I can kick back as we sail across the Sanctuary’s fields and put New Ember behind us. Wyatt confidently steers Nox over the roadway that we originally arrived on by car, but now we’re seeing the tops of trees, and a dozen evergreen blazers chase after us.

“Hold on like your lives depend on it!” Wyatt shouts over the roaring winds.

Nox screeches as he jerks and shoots toward the moon, and I’m so nervous that I’m going to fall off and drag Wyatt down into the forest with me, but the obsidian adjusts, and we’re higher than I’ve ever been before. I take in the mountains below us, thinking they could make for a challenging hike even with my strong New Yorker legs that are primed for long walks, but I only ever want to be up in the air from here on out.

The moon and stars are still so damn out of reach, and I want Nox to take us even closer. It’s like Nox can sense my feelings and does the exact opposite. We dip like the world’s most intense roller coaster toward the glistening river. My fingers dig into Wyatt’s abs when it seems like we’re about to go underwater, and I have no idea if obsidians do well there like sky swimmers. Nox smoothly transitions into a glide, his belly skimming across the surface of the river and his massive wings splashing water back at us. Wyatt is laughing as I shiver against him, the crisp air even colder now that I’m drenched. A surge of joy rockets through me, and my cheeks hurt from smiling.

“Skybreaking, yeah?”

“Skybreaking,” I echo into his ear.

I wonder if he can sense the smile in my voice the way I do with his.

We’re back in the air, but we move like a gentle wave, up, down, up, down.

Wyatt spins and faces me, patting my knees with so much enthusiasm. I hold on to his legs though I can’t lie, it’s not strictly for balance.

“How you getting on with all of this?” Wyatt asks as he shakes some water out of his hair.

“Best night in a minute.” I fight back some serious shivers because I don’t want this to end, but my chattering teeth betray me. “And a little cold.”

Wyatt takes off his jacket and holds it up. I try to turn him down because I’m me and I can never accept help without feeling weird about it, but he’s thankfully him and works a little harder to help anyway. I slide into the first feathered sleeve, and I feel this rush of power, power that has nothing to do with stolen phoenix fire. It’s like I can change the world on good heart alone. The Halo Knight jacket has some weight to it, and I want one of my own.

“Thanks for coming along,” Wyatt says.

“You’re kidding, right? Thanks for these incredible views,” I say as I turn back to where the New Ember Sanctuary feels far off, like a star. “I don’t just mean the mountains and river. Your perspective too. It’s been a huge struggle reckoning with my history, and every day I feel like I’m moving deeper and deeper into a dark space. I straight-up haven’t wanted to live a few times, and I want to feel more grateful for this life that I shouldn’t have.”

“Of course you should have your life,” he says.

I look to the sky, so full of stars—you can’t catch a sight like this in the city. I imagine that each star belongs to those who have fallen in my life and beyond—Dad, Ma, Ness, Atlas, Gravesend, Bautista, Sera, the other Spell Walkers, every celestial who was murdered because of fear and hate, and every creature who was hunted for power.

“I didn’t grow up believing in souls reincarnating like you did, Wyatt. And since learning that I have past lives, I’ve been surrounded by death.” I hold out my hands, bracing myself for sharp pain as I conjure