The Library (The Librarian of Alexandria Book 1) by Casey White (ebook reader 8 inch .TXT) 📗

Daniel licked his lips, feeling heat spread across his cheeks.  “Um,” he said.  Christ, why had he come here?  What was he supposed to do?  “Hi. I guess.”

An irritated noise burst from his lips as he buried his face in his hands.  He, a grown-ass adult who’d spent his entire life in the pursuit of knowledge in all its forms, was here talking to a stone.  A fucking piece of rock.  He should just- He should leave.  Go home.  Get on with his day.

But he was here.  He’d come all the way out to this wooded corner in the middle of nowhere, and he might as well finish what he started.  “Okay,” Daniel said, dropping his hands to his knees and fixing his eyes on the etched-out Jean Morris.  His face was glowing, he knew, but to hell with it.  “I swear to god, if you’re laughing at me up there, I’m going to- I’ll- I’ll do something.”

The marker didn’t laugh at him.  He took a deep breath, squeezing his hands a little tighter.  “I...I just wanted to see you,” he mumbled.  “Something like that.  Or not...not you, but...as close as I could get.  I wanted to know you were real.  That you were here.”

His fingers traced out the seams of his jeans, curling under the lip of the fabric.  “I’m not okay with things.  It’s bullshit.  I’m mad at you.”  Daniel pursed his lips.  His eyes were dark, glued to the letters on the marker.  “You were trying to save...her.”  Even out here, with only distant mourners as spectators, he couldn’t bring himself to say the name.  “But it’s bullshit.  And...yeah.  I just wanted you to know that.  You’re kind of a bitch.”

The leaves rustled overhead.  Daniel’s eyes dropped.  “But I get it,” he whispered.  “And...I just wanted to find you.”  He nodded, chewing on his lip.  “I’m not going to let someone else get fucked over like me,” he said at last.  “No matter what it takes.  No matter if- if things have to change.  This can’t happen again.  So...wish me luck.” His eyes burned. Quietly, barely audible, he added, “I...I still miss you. Sometimes.”

He forced a smile, letting the tension bleed from his limbs as the wind swept past.  It was still beautiful out, still sunny with an undertone of warmth to the air.  Soon enough, winter would fall again, and everything would go cold.

But it was still warm enough to enjoy the moment.

Daniel leaned back, letting himself sprawl across the grass.  It was weird, his thoughts whispered.  Whenever he was in Alexandria, he fought and scrabbled for every ounce of freedom he could get.  He’d wrangle whatever he could if it meant he’d leave Alexandria a little earlier.

And then, when he got out, he’d do...this.  Sit under the sun, looking up at the impossibly-endless sky.  Listen to birds fly by overhead.  Let the sounds of other living things fill the air around him.

He smiled, closing his eyes against the blinding sunlight.

The minutes ticked past, drifting away without a care.  Daniel lay there.  He didn’t have anything to say, not really.  Nothing that he hadn’t already.  But it felt nice to be there, next to the tangible proof that he wasn’t just insane, that he hadn’t dreamt her up.

Finally, just when he was right on the verge of falling asleep entirely, his phone chirped.

Daniel opened his eyes.

With a groan, he pushed himself back to sitting, and dug in his pocket.  Crows’ feet appeared at the corners of his eyes at the sight of notification after notification waiting for him.  Right.  His friends.  Lucas and Nate.

He could remember them.  It’d...It’d been a while.  A week or two on the outside.

And a decade or more for him.

Daniel stared down at the phone, motionless.  He could answer them.  He should answer them.  They’d been friends for years, now.  At a minimum, he should stay polite.

But he couldn’t quite mask the twinge of disappointment that’d come over him when he saw the messenger notification, rather than a message, from...other people.

His hand tightened about the phone.  He’d made another risky play, before he left the Library.  He’d given James and Leon a number - his number.  It was just a burner, he’d reasoned.  There was nothing associated with the phone number that could lead back to him, and...with all that he was learning about mages and demibloods and all the bullshit that went on behind the scenes, he couldn’t help it.  He was worried.

He’d be damned if he’d let Leon or James or Maya get caught in the crossfire of someone coming after the Librarian.  If shit went sideways, he wanted them to have some way to let him know.

Just that quickly, though, he’d let himself get his hopes up, let himself dream of getting contacted by someone who knew him.

And just like that, he’d had his old relationships thrown back in his face.  He should contact them back - and yet, the thought of putting on his Dan mask again, of smiling and playing along with them, felt...cheap.  They were his friends, but only up to a point.  They were a stand-in, an audience for him to play-act a normal college-age guy for.

He couldn’t.  He wanted more than that.

His thumb danced over the phone’s screen, keying up the messenger.  Lucas and Nate’s conversation waited there - cheerful and bright, just like always.  An invitation to something-or-other, tomorrow night.

Daniel hesitated.  And then he typed out his response.  Something short and sweet.  A polite refusal.  Already had plans, and all that.  He snorted.  It was probably the first time in their friendship he’d declined a meet-up.

And then he slid his phone back into his pocket.

He turned back to the gravestone, his moment of dark humor fleeing as fast as it’d arrived.  “Don’t go anywhere,” he said, chuckling under his breath.  “I’m not done with you yet.”

With a groan, Daniel pushed himself back to standing.

The rows of headstones crept past as he began the