locataire's poetified thoughts... - D.M.M 'locataire' (online e book reading .TXT) 📗

My unplanned suicidal commitment
(With myself I am deeply at war)
And my friends, always loud, but persistent
(Though invisible - hard to ignore!)
And the answers
(Not busied by questions)
And the dawns in the middle of nights
(Some still argue they are "nonexistent"!)
And unthinkable, skin-deep delight.

Endless quarrels - with self found theories
(For I hide the Philosopher's Stone!)
My emotionally stable history
(Of this visibly unstable world)

Is all this to much for you, my darling?
Are you stuck in your four thoughtproof walls?
I know ignorance's sweeter than honey
But to stick with it still means to fall!


Listen to me, girl!

He told me that he loved you
But when he tried to write
Words didn't seem enough

Listen to me, girl!

He said each breath was torture -
Each breath he drew without you,
Each day seemed like a lie

Listen to me, girl!

I know his heart's wide open
And if you should get lost -
Don't wonder where you are

Listen to me, girl!

I hope you'll always know that
If all is gone and over,
You're safe inside his mind...


A DOLL'S CONFESSION

I am a doll -
A doll from your corner

You used to love me
And you used to care

Now you've grown old -
All good times are over
But to say I'm lonely

Would still be unfair

I have hot tears to keep me company

My face - stigmatized

- A motionless smile!

I've prayed for so long...

Yes, it may seem funny -
A doll praying that

G*d would let her cry...


BEWARE

I am so deeply lost
In your hazy embrace

A maze of foggy half - truths
And misty quarter - lies

I am so disrespectful!
Spit angels in the face

I make stormy love to you
In courtrooms of the skies


I give promisses easily
Fearless of Judgement's Day

I follow the prophecies
I see in your blue eyes

But if you should betray me
I will teach you a lesson

About revenge and hatered
Of devils in disguise...


FAIRYTALE GONE WRONG

This fairytale's gone bad -
New soundless tears - they fall,
There in a chamber where
Our Sleepless Beauty dwells.

This fairytale's gone wrong -
Where the horizons end
Old Cindirella sits,
Combing her smoke filled hair.

Prince Charming, he is gone -
Gone straight out of his mind
And Snowy's lips have long
Turned whiter than the snow
-
But there is noone here
To show them a new road -
Their golden age is over,
All children have now grown...


Looking for hope

I've lost my hope
If you find her send her back
I'm sure she's still
Wearing that green dress she loves

I know she's cold
But I don't think she is scared...
It's only me...
I refuse to be alone.

I've lost my hope
If you find her send her back
You'll know it's her
When you see her deep blue eyes

I'm still alone
And I don't think this is fair
Please heavens, please...

I will need my hope tonight...


***

A crushed golden watch that escaped
A deeply scarred wrist –
A cry for attention
-
A sigh of a heart in regret -
When G*d made His plans
Our love was not mentioned
-
A hunger that longs to be fed.
A train going nowhere –
Forgotten direction
-
A thunder still thirsty for rain.
A planet that turns -
But misses perfection.


Sisters

My sister was a beauty
When she came home at night
Surrounded by an aura
That I deeply abhorred

My sister was a beauty
With sweet effortless power
Of blonde, blue eyed perfection
All boys blindly adored

My sister was a beauty
So pretty that it hurt
As I watched her, resentful,
From behind those black eyes

My sister had all those things
That I could only ache for

Until the heavy, muddy
Death train stopped by last night…


***

I don’t want your mercy,
Not any more
-
My heart can’t beat – broken
My body is sore
-
And every faint shiver
That goes through my head
-
Before it’s a thought -
It’s already dead.


And yes, I may hate you
You dare not forbid!
-
Your hunger for violence
Jealousy and greed
-
And yes I will die
And death might come soon
-
But instead of mourning
You’ll yearn for the moon…


Daughters of Zion

Farewell to you,
Young daughters of Zion -
I walk away to find
My own Promised Land

Farewell to you ,
Who grow in denial,
Who fight old oppression,
While new one has come

Farewell to you -
Your fury
-Fist – clenching
Your beauty
-Unnoticed
Your nights
- Filled with fear

Farewell to you,
So lonesome in waiting,
Young daughters of Zion -
Who shall dry your tears?


***

I stepped on this train
For reasons unknown
And left my poor soul
Alone in past times

I stepped on this train –
Determined to go
And left my crushed soul
Few stations
Behind…

I stepped on this train
And as years float by
I seek and I search
But still do not know

I seek and I search
Unable to find
I still cannot get
Away from my soul…


***

First and foremost
Let me enjoy
A cup of coffee
Each day at five

Let me forget
That there’s a Wall –
A Wall with two Sides,
A wound in the sky

Let me forget
All those
Who are waiting
To get back the freedom
That they were denied

Let me forget
Divine interventions
Thanks to which I
Am here
On this Side…


The theory of Plato

Even old Plato said
There will be us forever
-
Two halves that make an apple,
Two ropes tied in a knot.

Even old Plato said
We’re meant to be together
-
Two stars from the sky – falling,
Souls always bound by love.

Even old Plato may
Be wrong once in a while,
For even philosophers
Do sometimes make mistakes

But we are still so young,
So let’s believe old Plato
And somewhere deep inside
Let’s hope it’s not the case…


I’ll be doomed

I’ll be doomed for just watching you move
Along frail lines of lost unreal hope –

I’ll be doomed -
And unable to prove
Good intentions, so quickly evolved.

I’ll be doomed for just making you smile –
The sweet secret I bring rose from hell.

I’ll be doomed, but my friend, don’t you cry –
Until then I’ll make sure
All is well…


***

I can’t stop
I have not enough shame
Just to turn,
Turn away as I should –
I would go, bearing clear signs of blame
Then come back
To believe it’s for good

I can’t stop
I have not enough strength
Just to heal
All the wounds that I’ve caused –
I would go, bearing clear signs of blame
Then come back
As an angel…
G*d knows.


Late

You came late –
You come late every time.
I get old
With each minute that goes.

Though distractions seem easy to find –
There are no good distractions from love.

You came late –
You come late every time.
Tortured waiting has become my home.

Though distractions seem easy to find –
I can’t run from this pain that still grows


***

I hate how you play with my mind
Reforming, reshaping each thought
Still looking for two of a kind,
Forgetting this tale has no plot.

I hate how you torture my past
Still looking for futures beyond
In cruel tomorrows you last
Forgetting today hasn’t gone…


Lullaby for the abandoned

When you wish upon a star
Naïve – as if you were a child
Don’t hesitate – And from afar
You’ll still hear bells of hope that chime.

Each single night you put yourself
To bed and cry yourself to sleep
Whish silently upon a star
And hear the clouds
That with you weep.

Each tearful morning you wake up
And miss the warmth she gave to you
Pronounce your wishes -
Than look up.

Maybe the memories
Will come true…


***

Maybe one day I would wake up
Searching for no words to say -
And I'd make a wise decision
To lock all my fears away?

Maybe one day I'd discover
Things don't always turn out bad,
One does not decieve the other,
Goodwill's waiting close at hand?

Maybe someday in the future
All my dreams will come to life?
Please, oh Lord, and all the angels -
Please, let "someday"
Come tonight...


"A surplus of memory"

*

Darker than November nights
Falling softly on the snow -
Memories I cannot fight,
Memories that wouldn't go.

When I looked into your eyes
Happiness was all I saw -
Now the past - I cannot fight,
Now the past just wouldn't go.

As I very shyly reach
For a hand that's never there -
Memories - they stop my heart,
Memories - they wouldn't care...

* title borrowed from Yitzhak Cukierman's book


***

What have I done,
G*d Allmighty,
To carry such burdens through life?

Time is not kind to Survivors -
Why do you still force me to last?

And if I'm another year older,
And if I get heavier at heart?

Don't think I'll be wiser or stronger -
Years heal wounds
But they leave you
With scars...


***

Shall You Ever

Shall you ever be the one to run away
From a friend - ablaze with pain,
From a child - alone and frail

Shall you ever be the one to turn your head
When there's evil right in front,
When innocent blood is shed

Shall you ever find a place among the vain
Turn your back on souls - so needy,
And smile happily with no shame

Shall you ever...? Be prepared to pay the price!
For there's Heaven - right up there!
Where you only
See the skies...


***

I refuse to be called a remainder
Back from a world that never was.
I despise the cold noble museums
And perfectly locked iron doors.

For the sake of the One who I doubt
Ever took any interest in me -
Those perfectly locked iron doors
Put us all back in captivity!

You persuade me to stay and to trust
That your only goal is memory,

But if you want living remembrance
Open that door
And please -
Set me free.


Friends.

Maybe our roads are long apart,
Maybe there's nothing left to say -
Still - we are always close at heart
Though old and tired
Though far away.

Surely