Facets Of Love - Paul Curtis (philippa perry book txt) 📗

my pew
Where I stood and prayed
My eyes were fixed
On a Christian maid

Is it inappropriate?
My lecherous behaviour
When in church
Worshipping the saviour

I studied every inch
Right down to the floor
Instead of hymn numbers
Vital statistics I saw

A glimpse of lace
A bra strap showing
My eyes consumed her
Without her knowing

The tightness of her jeans
Her shape within
I missed the sermon
Doubtless about sin

A sight to feast my eyes
Which affected me so
That I had a quiver in my voice
And a tingle down below

Oh lord forgive me
For being such a sinner
But you must admit
She really is a stunner

IN SEARCH OF LARA

From my familiar seat
On the crowded bus,
I thought I saw you today
In the passing throng,

My spirits lifted
My heart beat quickened.
And like Dr Zhivago
In search of Lara
I beat against the cold glass.
To attract attention

You turned toward me,
And it wasn’t you.
I was mistaken.
Through vision clouded by tears
I had not seen you,
How could it be you?
For you are gone


I HIDE ME

I hide me
From the world
Protect myself
Within an amniotic sac
Like a babe in the womb
My heart in a cocoon
Free from harm
Wrapped in cotton wool
Safe, secure,
Out of sight, out of mind

I hide me
The best of me
Protected from
Deceitful hearts
And transient desires
The Schemers, dreamers,
And false redeemers
The superficial and the shallow
The morally hollow
Those that would hurt me
Use me and abuse me
All these and more

I hide me
The essential me
Keep me hidden
From the bitterness and bile
Of the vindictive and the vile
Free from recrimination
And spiteful retribution
Heart locked safely away
Never to see the light of day


THE JUDAS KISS

You said you had to go away,
Just a day or two
A business trip
Something you had to do
But I knew better
I knew that you were leaving
I found out
About the cheating and deceiving
I wait for the truth to come
But you just keep lying
You’re leaving me
And inside I’m dying
But you won’t see me cry
I just smile instead
I won’t let you see me
I will do that in my empty bed
You kiss me on the cheek
And look me in the eye
And with that Judas kiss
You turn and say goodbye

JUNE

On that beautiful day in June
The bells peeled out their tune
And at that joyful sound he knew
He would soon hear her say “I do”

Then before him a beautiful sight
As she appeared in bridal white
The hue of the pure white dove
Dressed to symbolise her love

When they stood before the altar
He spoke clear without a falter
With a heart so strong and true
He said aloud to the world “I do”


SLEEP ON IT

Last night I was sad
Last night I was mad
Last night I hated you
Last night I berated you
Last night I was crying
Last night I was dying
Last night I was unforgiving
Last night I was tired of living

This morning I’m glad
Glad for what we once had
This morning I have regret for you
This morning I want to forget you
This morning the tears I cried
Have long since dried
This morning I am forgiving
This morning I am for living


SWEET TOOTH

I have a picture of you
Which speaks to me,
Speaks in sugary tones
And syrupy words
Of things I liked to hear
When we were both young
But my tastes have changed
A sweet tooth no longer
My palate more mature
More sophisticated
A little less exciting maybe
But you can’t be sixteen forever
But I will always keep
That picture of you
Which speaks to me
In sugary tones
And syrupy words
Just to remind me of the time
When I had a sweet tooth

TIME IS A GREAT HEALER

Time is a great healer
That’s what they said
That’s what they told me
After you were dead
Banal words of wisdom
And benevolent attitudes
Empty words and gestures
And worthless platitudes
Only one thing
Can ever take the pain away
And you’re not coming back
No matter how hard I pray
I just wish with all my heart
We could have gone together
And I would not feel so lonely
And I’d be with you forever


FILLE DE PAPILLON

Remember when we were young
Those long halcyon days
Down on your dad’s farm
Joyful hours spent
Idling our time away.
Swinging on that old rustic gate
Roaming the countryside
Happy lazy days,
Nothing particular to do
And a world of time to do it in

They were wonderful days
They were innocent days
Before the end of childhood
Before those weeks
That special summer
So long ago
When you seemed to transform
Into something new
Like a butterfly
Emerging from its cocoon
Spreading its wings in the sun
Displaying fresh beauty

Your transformation
From the cutely naive country girl
Awkward and ungainly
Into a beautiful young woman
An altogether more graceful being
Though I was fond of the grubby faced girl
With untidy hair, wispy and uncombed
I would very soon fall in love
With the butterfly that had replace her

With the emergence of the butterfly girl
With all the beauty
Of the first flower of spring
We trod an unfamiliar path
Leaving our childish games behind
Taking our first tentative steps
Towards love


A love that was a stranger to us
Yet we stepped eagerly in to its turbulent sea
And immersed ourselves in its waters
We soon knew at once
The excitement of first love
When joy was all we could see
And all of our thoughts
Were only for each other
Sweet moments spent
In blissful adoration
Until love was burnt deeply on our souls

Now as we walk the familiar places
As we have so often done
With scenes much visited
We can stand in that spot
Where first I beheld the butterfly
Resplendent in the sunlight
And say to you
With heartfelt sincerity
That I love you still

FOUR SEASONS

First love gave me springtime
And invigorated my life
It was summer in my heart
When you became my wife
Then in our autumn years
You were taken from my side
Now with my bitter loneliness
It’s in the winter that I reside


SPEECH IMPEDIMENT

Each morning, we stood at the bus stop
Not together, but in proximity
Day after day, week after week
I would glance at her in admiration
But I would never speak to her
There would be an occasional nod
And sometimes a smile
I would have liked to ask her out
I had almost done so many times
But my nerve would always go
So often I formed the question in my head
But the words wouldn’t come out
I always steeled myself
For the big moment, but it never happened
Then one day
When she looked particularly alluring
I thought to myself
This time will be different
This time I have rehearsed,
Though only on the cat,
This time I will do it.
So armed with a well constructed sentence
I made my move
I took a deep breath
Turned to face her,
The sentence looping through my head
Over and over
I opened my mouth to speak
But the sentence did not appear
Instead jumbled words tumbled out
From my anxiously dry mouth,
But not in the order I intended
Some words inappropriately joined together
Giving an all together different meaning
That may have caused her to be offended
It had gone better with the cat.
I just stood there
Spouting my nervous stuttering gibberish
I thought she must think me such an idiot
And fully expected her to laugh in my face
But instead she smiled at my nervousness
And reformed the words into a sentence,
The very sentence I had rehearsed,
Spoke it back to me
And then smiling broadly, answered yes


FIRST IMPRESSIONS

She had a distinct aura
That pervaded the senses
Femininity, without vanity
Beauty, without conceit
Forthright, but not brash
Confident but not cocky
Refreshingly sincere
Intelligent but not haughty
Wit without cruelty
Laughter without malice
Principled and scrupulous
Morality without piety
Could no one else see it?
Was I in a minority of one?
Surely I am not alone
In my admiration of her
As she looks at me
What does she see?
She looks at me appraisingly
What does she see?
How is she evaluating?
Is there an attraction?
Yes but more than that alone
Then simultaneously
In mutual acquiescence
We reached the conclusion
It was simple recognition
Of the similarly disposed
Of kindred spirits
We are soul mates


BREATH OF SPRING

She Entered
Like a breath of spring
And her presence
Altered everything
She walked in
With such a delicate air
Heads turned
To watch the maiden fair
She then returned
From whence she came
But didn’t leave us
Quite the same
We hoped to see again
That breath of spring
Whose presence
Altered everything


LOVE HAIKU # 1

Under skies of grey,
or beneath a sky of blue,
I would love you still

RING IN THE WINDOW

In the window he saw the ring
The perfect one, a beautiful thing
The most perfect symbol for her
At its centre a Ceylon sapphire
A gem to beguile and hypnotise
And match the beauty of her eyes
Then to compliment its glow
Around it sits a diamond halo
Light playing on its heavenly guise
Like the sparkling of her eyes
All set in a stylist platinum band
Which he could picture on her hand
And pictured himself on one knee
So he could say “please marry me”

IN SUNSHINE OR IN SHADOW

In sunshine or in shadow
Your love sets me aglow
In perfect calm or raging storm
Your love keeps me warm
In times of drought or flood
Your passion warms my blood
In summer bright or winter dark
You are always in my heart

LOVE HAIKU # 2

Should the clouds obscure,
the glorious stars at night,
I will still love you


WE HAD IT ALL

It was here, in our grasp
We could see it, feel it, touch it
Something steadfast and solid
Reassuring and comforting
A constant, a given
Something infinite and immeasurable

We had it all in our hands
A living breathing thing
That we gave life
Our own creation, our new entity
But we let it escape from our grasp
Slowly slipping through our fingers
Though we tried to recapture it
It was illusive, like trying to net smoke
It evaded our efforts

So now it's gone and nothing remains,
Of that entity that was us
Nothing tangible, nothing physical
Only memories remain

CHRISTMAS FOLLY

Merriment abounds
And music fills the air
And in the cosy room
I’d hoped to see you there

Friends and loved ones
Surround me, old and new
I wished that one of them
Might have been you

Outside its cold
On this Christmas Eve
When the party's over
I won’t want to leave

But I will head home
Trudging through the snow
And in my loneliness
I’ll wonder how I let you go


NOTHING LASTS FOREVER

Nothing lasts forever
Nothing is that durable
Nothing is built to stand the test of time