The Secret Power - Marie Corelli (books to get back into reading TXT) š
- Author: Marie Corelli
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And he looked at her, smiling. Her passionate eyes, full of glowing ardour, met his,āa flashing fire seemed to leap from them into his own soul, and for the moment he almost lost his self-possession.
āWise Manella!ā he repeated, his voice shaking a little, while he fought with the insidious temptation which beset him,āthe temptation to draw her into his arms and take his fill of the love she was so ready to giveāāThey always marry? No dear, they do NOT! Many of them avoid marriageāā he paused, then continuedāāand do you know why?ā
She shook her head.
āBecause it is the end of romance! Because it rings down the curtain on a beautiful Play! The music ceasesāthe lights are put outāthe audience goes home,āand the actors take off their fascinating costumes, wash away their paint and powder and sit down to supperā possibly fried steak and onions and a pot of beer. The fried steak and onionsāalso the beerāmake a very good ordinary āmarriage.āā
In this flippant talk he gained the mastery over himself he had feared to loseāand laughed heartily as he saw Manellaās expression of utter bewilderment.
āI do not understand!ā she said, plaintivelyāāWhat is steak and onions?āhow do they make a marriage? You say such strange things!ā
He laughed again, thoroughly amused.
āYes, donāt I!ā he rejoinedāāBut not half such strange things as I could say if I were so inclined! Iām a queer fellow!ā
He touched her hair gently, putting back a stray curl that had fallen across her forehead.
āNow, dear,ā he continued, āItās time you went. Youāll be wanted at the Plazaāand they mustnāt think Iām keeping you up here, making love to you!ā
She tossed her head back, and her eyes flashed almost angrily.
āThereās no danger of that!ā she said, with a little suppressed tremor in her throat like the sob of a nightingale at the close of its song.
āIsnāt there?ā and putting his arm round her, he drew her close to himself and looked full in her eyesāāManellaāthere WAS!āa moment ago!ā
She remained still and passive in his armsāhardly daring to breathe, so rapt was she in a sudden ecstasy, but he could feel the wild beating of her heart against his own.
āA moment ago!ā he repeated, in a half whisper. āA moment ago I could have made such desperate love to you as would have astonished myself!āand YOU! And I should have regretted it ever afterwardsā and so would you!ā
The struggling emotion in her found utterance.
āNo, noānot I!ā she said, in quick little passionate murmursāāI could not regret it!āIf you loved me for an hour it would be the joy of my life-time!āYou might leave me,āyou might forget!ābut that would not take away my pride and gladness! You might kill meāI would die gladly if it saved YOUR life!āah, you do not understand loveānot the love of Manella!ā
And she lifted her face to hisāa face so lovely, so young, so warm with her soulās inward rapture that its glowing beauty might have made a lover of an anchorite. But with Roger Seaton the impulses of passion were briefāthe momentary flame had gone out in vapour, and the spirit of the anchorite prevailed. He looked at the dewy red lips, delicately parted like rose petalsābut he did not kiss them, and the clasp of his arms round her gradually relaxed.
āHush, hush Manella!ā he said, with a mild kindness, which in her overwrought state was more distracting than angry words would have beenāāHush! You talk foolishnessābeautiful foolishnessāall women do when they set their fancies on men. It is nature, of course,āYOU think it is love, but, my dear girl, there is no such thing as love! There!ānow you are cross!ā for she drew herself quickly away from his hold and stood apart, her eyes sparkling, her breast heaving, with the air of a goddess enraged,āāYou are cross because I tell you the truth---ā
āIt is not the truth,ā she said, in a low voice quivering with intense feelingāāyou tell me lies to disguise yourself. But I can see! You yourself love a womanābut you have not my courage!āyou are afraid to own it! You would give the world to hold her in your arms as you just now held MEābut you will not admit itānot even to yourselfāand you pretend to hate when you are mad for love!ājust as you pretend to be ill when you are well! You should be ashamed to say there is no such thing as love! What mean you then by playing so false with yourself?āwith me?āand with HER?ā
She looked lovelier than ever in her anger, and he was taken by surprise at the impetuous and instinctive guess she had made at the complexity of his moods, which he himself scarcely understood. For a moment he stood inert, embarrassed by her straight, half-scornful glanceāthen he regained his usual mental poise and smiled with provoking good humour and tolerance.
āTemper, Manella!ātemper again! A pity, a pity! Your Spanish blood is too fiery, Manella!āit is indeed! You have been very rudeādo you know how rude you have been? But there! I forgive you! You are only a naughty child! As for love---ā
He paused, and going to the door of the hut looked out.
āManella, there is a big cloud in the west just over the ocean. It is shaped like a great white eagle and its wings are edged with gold,āit is the beginning of a fine sunset. Come and look at it,ā and while we watch it floating along I will talk to you about love!ā
She hesitated,āher whole spirit was up in arms against this man whom she loved, and who, so she argued with herself, had allowed her to love HIM, while having no love for HER; and yet,āsince Gwent had told her that his mysterious occupation might result in disaster and danger to his life, her devotion had received a new impetus which was wholly unselfish,āthat of watchful guardianship such as inspires a faithful dog to defend its master. And, moved by this thought, she obeyed his beckoning hand, and stood with him on the sward outside the hut, looking at the cloud he described. It was singularly white,ānew-fallen snow could be no whiter,āand, shaped like a huge bird, its great wings spread out to north and south were edged with a red-gold fire. Seaton pushed an old tree stump into position and sat down upon it, making Manella sit beside him.
āNow for this talk!ā he saidāāLove is the subject,āLove the theme! We are taught that we must love God and love our neighborābut we donāt, because we canāt! In the case of God we cannot love what we donāt know and donāt see,āand we cannot love our neighbor because he is often a person whom we DO know and CAN see, and who is extremely offensive. Now let us consider what IS love? You, Manella, are angry because I say there is no such thingāand you accuse me of indulging in love for a woman myself. YetāI still declare, in spite of you, there is no such thing as love! I ought to be ashamed of myself for saying thisāso YOU think!ābut Iām not ashamed. I know Iām right! Love is a divine idea, never realised. It is like a ninth new note in the musical scaleānot to be attained. It is suggested in the highest forms of poetry and art, but the suggestion can never be carried out. What men and women call āloveā is the ordinary attraction of sex,āthe same attraction that pulls all male and female living things together and makes them mate. It is very unromantic! And to a man of my mind, very useless.ā
She looked at him in a kind of sorrowful perplexity.
āYou have much talkāāshe saidāāand no doubt you are clever. But I think you are all wrong!ā
āYou do? Wise child! Now listen to my much talk a little longer! Have you ever watched silkworms? No? They are typical examples of humanity. A silkworm, while it is a worm, feeds to repletion,āyou can never get it as many mulberry leaves as it would like to eatā then when it is gorged, it builds itself a beautiful house of silk (which is taken away from it in due course) and comes out at the door in wings!āwings it hardly uses and seems not to understandā then, if it is a female moth, it looks about for āloveā from the male. If the male ālovesā it, the female produces a considerable number of eggs like pin-headsāand then?āwhat then? Why she promptly dies, and thereās an end of her! Her sole aim and end of being was to produce eggs, which in their turn become worms and repeat the same dull routine of business. Nowāthink me as brutal as you likeāI say a woman is very like a female silkworm,āshe comes out of her beautiful silken cocoon of maidenhood with wings which she doesnāt know how to useāshe merely flutters about waiting to be ālovedāāand when this dream she calls āloveā comes to her, she doesnāt dream any longerāshe wakesāto find her life finished!ā finished, Manella!ādry as a gourd with all the juice run out!ā
Manella rose from her seat beside him. The warm light in her eyes had goneāher face was pale, and as she drew herself up to her stately height she made a picture of noble scorn.
āI am sorry for you!ā she said. āIf you think these things your thoughts are quite dreadful! You are a cruel man after all! I am sorry I spoke of the beautiful little lady who came here to see you- you do not love her-you cannot!āI felt sure you didābut I am wrong!āthere is no love in you except for yourself and your own will!ā
She spoke, breathing quickly, and trembling with suppressed emotion. He smiled,āand, rising, saluted her with a profound bow.
āThank you, Manella! You give me a true character!āMyself and my own will are certainly the chief factors in my lifeāand they may work wonders yet!āwho knows! And there is no love in meāno!ānot what YOU call love!ābutāas concerns the ābeautiful little lady,ā you may know this much of meāTHAT I WANT HER!ā
He threw out his hands with a gesture that was almost tragic, and such an expression came into his face of savagery and tenderness commingled that Manella retreated from him in vague terror.
āI want her!ā he repeatedāāAnd why? Not to āloveā her,ābut to break her wings,āfor she, unlike a silkworm moth, knows how to use them! I want her, to make her proud mind bend to MY will and way!āI want her to show her how a man can, shall, and MUST be master of a womanās brain and soul!ā
A sudden heat of pent-up feeling broke out in this impulsive rush of words;āhe checked himself,āand seeing Manellaās pale, scared face he went up to her and took her hand.
āYou see, Manella?ā he said, in quiet tonesāāThere is no such thing as ālove,ā but there is such a thing as āwanting.ā Andāfor the most selfish reasons man ever hadāI want HERānot you!ā
The colour rushed back to her cheeks in a warm glowāher great dark eyes were ablaze with indignation. She drew her hand quickly from his hold.
āAnd I hope you will never get her!ā she said, passionatelyāāI will pray the Holy Virgin to save her from you! For you are wicked! She is like an angelāand you are a devil!āyes, surely you must be, or you could not say such horrible things! You do not want me, you say? I know that! I am a fool to have shown you my heartāyou have broken it, but you do not careāyou could have been master of
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