The Works of John Bunyan, vol 1 - John Bunyan (best self help books to read TXT) 📗

acts, and yet may be greatly ignorant of either; wherefore we are not competent judges in this case. There may a thousand acts of grace pass through thy soul, and thou be sensible of few, if any, of them.[7] 8. Do you think that he that repents, believes, loves, fears, or humbles himself before God, and acts in other graces too, doth always know what he doth? No, no; grace many times, even in a man, is acted by him, unawares unto him. Did Gideon, think you, believe that he was so strong in grace as he was? Nay, was he not ready to give the lie to the angel, when he told him God was with him? (Judg 6:12,13). Or what do you think of David, when he said he was cast off from God’s eyes? (Psa 31:22). Or of Heman, when he said he was free among them whom God remembered no more? (Psa 88). Did these, then, see their graces so clear, as they saw themselves by their sins to be unworthy ones? I tell you it is a rare thing for some Christians to see their graces, but a thing very common for such to see their sins; yea, and to feel them too, in their lusts and desires, to the shaking of their souls.

Quest. But since I have lusts and desires both ways, how shall I know to which my soul adheres?

Answ. This may be known thus: 1. Which wouldest thou have prevail?

the desires of the flesh, or the lusts of the spirit, whose side art thou of? Doth not thy soul now inwardly say, and that with a strong indignation, O let God, let grace, let my desires that are good, prevail against my flesh, for Jesus Christ his sake? 2.

What kind of secret wishes hast thou in thy soul when thou feelest the lusts of thy flesh to rage? Dost thou not inwardly, and with indignation against sin, say, O that I might never, never feel one such motion more? O that my soul were so full of grace, that there might be longer no room for ever for the least lust to come into my thoughts! 3. What kind of thoughts hast thou of thyself, now thou seest these desires of thine that are good so briskly opposed by those that are bad? Dost thou not say, O! I am the basest of creatures, I could even spew at myself? There is no man in all the world in my eyes so loathsome as myself is. I abhor myself; a toad is not so vile as I am.[8] O Lord, let me be anything but a sinner, anything, so thou subduest mine iniquities for me! 4. How dost thou like the discovery of that which thou thinkest is grace in other men? Dost thou not cry out, O, I bless them in my heart! O, methinks grace is the greatest beauty in the world! Yea, I could be content to live and die with those people that have the grace of God in their souls. A hundred times, and a hundred, when I have been upon my knees before God, I have desired, were it the will of God, that I might be in their condition. 5. How art thou when thou thinkest that thou thyself hast grace? O then, says the soul, I am as if I could leap out of myself; joy, joy, joy then is with my heart. It is, methinks, the greatest mercy under heaven to be made a gracious man.

And is it thus with thy soul indeed? Happy man! It is grace that has thy soul, though sin at present works in thy flesh. Yea, all these breathings are the very actings of grace, even of the grace of desire, of love, of humility, and of the fear of God within thee. Be of good courage, thou art on the right side. Thy desires are only good; for that thou hast desired against thy sin, thy sinful self; which indeed is not thyself, but sin that dwells in thee.[9]

[The distinct or particular desires of the righteous.]

Second. I come next to speak of desires more distinctly, or particularly, as they work this way and that. First, then, the desires of the righteous are either such as they would have accomplished here; or else, Second, such as they know they cannot come at the enjoyment of till after death.

[Desires that may be accomplished or enjoyed in this life.]

First. For the first of these, the desires of the righteous are for such good things as they could have accomplished here; that is, in this world, while they are on this side glory. And they, in general, are comprised under these two general heads:—1. Communion with their God in spirit, or spiritual communion with him; 2. The liberty of the enjoyment of his holy ordinances. And, indeed, this second is, that they may both attain to, and have the first maintained with them. But for the first:

1. They desire now communion with God. ‘With my soul,’ said she, ‘have I desired thee in the night; yea, with my spirit within me will I seek thee early’ (Isa 26:9). The reason of this she renders in the verse foregoing, saying, ‘The desire of our soul is to thy name, and to the remembrance of thee.’

Now, thus to desire, declares one already made righteous. For herein there appears a mind reconciled to God. Wherefore the wicked are set on the other side, even in that opposition to these; ‘they say unto God, Depart from us, for we desire not the knowledge of thy ways’ (Job 21:14). They neither love his presence, nor to be frequenters of his ordinances. ‘What is the Almighty that we should serve him? and what profit should we have if we pray unto him?’

(Job 21:15). So, again, speaking of the wicked, he saith, ‘Ye have said it is vain to serve God, and what profit is it that we have kept his ordinance?’ (Mal 3:14). This, then, to desire truly to have communion with God, is the property of a righteous man, of a righteous man only; for this desire arises from a suitableness which is in the righteous unto God; ‘Whom,’ said the Prophet, ‘have I in heaven but thee? and there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee’ (Psa 73:25). This could never be the desire of a man, were he not a righteous man, a man with a truly sanctified mind.

‘The carnal mind is enmity against God, for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be’ (Rom 8:7).

When Moses, the man of God, was with the children of Israel in the wilderness, he prays that God would give them his presence unto Canaan, or else to let them die in that place. It was death to him to think of being in the wilderness without God! And he said unto God, ‘If thy presence go not with me, carry us not up hence’ (Exo 33:14,15). Here, then, are the desires of a righteous man—namely, after communion with God. He chooses rather to be a stranger with God in the world, than to be a citizen of the world and a stranger to God. ‘For I am,’ said David, ‘a stranger with thee, and a sojourner, as all my fathers were’ (Psa 39:12). Indeed, he that walketh with God is but a stranger to this world. And the righteous man’s desires are to, for, and after communion with God, though he be so.

The reasons of these desires are many. In communion with God is life and favour; yea, the very presence of God with a man is a token of it (Psa 30:3-5). For by his presence he helps, succours, relieves, and supports the hearts of his people, and therefore is communion with him desired. ‘I will,’ said David, ‘behave myself wisely in a perfect way; O when wilt thou come unto me?’ (Psa 101:2). The pleasures that such a soul finds in God that has communion with him are surpassing all pleasures and delights, yea, infinitely surpassing them. ‘In thy presence is fulness of joy, at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore’ (Psa 16:11). Upon this account he is called the desire of all nations—of all in all nations that know him. Job desired God’s presence, that he might reason with God. ‘Surely,’ said he, ‘I would speak to the Almighty, and I desire to reason with God’ (Job 13:3). And again, ‘O that one would hear me! Behold my desire is that the Almighty would answer me’ (Job 31:35). But why doth Job thus desire to be in the presence of God!

O! he knew that God was good, and that he would speak to him that which would do him good. ‘Will he plead against me with his great power? No: but he would put strength into me. There the righteous might dispute with him; so should I be delivered for ever from my judge’ (Job 23:6,7).

God’s presence is the safety of a man. If God be with one, who can hurt one? As HE said, ‘If God be for us, who can be against us?’

Now, if so much safety flows from God’s being for one, how safe are we when God is with us? ‘The beloved of the Lord,’ said Moses, ‘shall dwell in safety by him, and the Lord shall cover him all the day long, and he shall dwell between his shoulders’ (Deut 33:12).

God’s presence keeps the heart awake to joy, and will make a man sing in the night (Job 35:10). ‘Can the children of the bridechamber mourn, as long as the bridegroom is with them?’ (Matt 9:15). God’s presence is feasting, and feasting is made for mirth (Rev 3:20; Eccl 10:19). God’s presence keeps the heart tender, and makes it ready to fall in with what is made known as duty or privilege (Isa 64:1). ‘I will run the ways of thy commandments,’ said the Psalmist, ‘when thou shalt enlarge my heart’ (Psa 119:32). The presence of God makes a man affectionately and sincerely good; yea, makes him willing to be searched and stripped from all the remains of iniquity (Psa 26:1-3).

What, what shall I say? God’s presence is renewing, transforming, seasoning, sanctifying, commanding, sweetening, and enlightening to the soul! Nothing like it in all the world; his presence supplies all wants, heals all maladies, saves from all dangers; is life in death, heaven in hell; all in all. No marvel, then, if the presence of, and communion with, God, is become the desire of a righteous man (Psa 26:9). To conclude this, by the presence of God being with us, it is known to ourselves, and to others, what we are. ‘If thy presence,’ said Moses, ‘go not with me, carry us not up hence. For wherein shall it be known here, that I and thy people have found grace in thy sight, is it not in that thou goest with us? So shall we be separated, I and thy people, from all the people that are upon the face of the earth’ (Exo 33:15,16).

They are then best known to themselves. They know they are his people, because God’s presence is with them. Therefore he saith, ‘My presence shall go with thee, and I will give thee rest’ (Exo 33:14). That is, let thee know that thou hast found grace in my sight, and art accepted of me. For if God withdraws himself, or hides his presence from his people, it is hard for them to bear up in the steadfast belief that they belong to him. ‘Be not silent to me,’ O Lord, said David, ‘lest I become like them that go down into the pit’ (Psa 28:1). ‘Be not silent unto me,’ that is, as he has