The Works of John Bunyan, vol 1 - John Bunyan (best self help books to read TXT) 📗

First. By way of question; what are the things thou desirest, are they lawful or unlawful? for a Christian may desire unlawful things; as the mother of Zebedee’s children did when she came to Christ, nay, her sons themselves had their hearts therein, saying, ‘Master, we would that thou shouldest do for us whatsoever we shall desire’

(Mark 10:35; Matt 20:20). They came with a wide mouth, but their desire was unlawful, as is evident, for that Christ would not grant it. James also himself caught those unto whom he wrote, in such a fault as this, where he says, ‘Ye kill, and desire to have, and cannot obtain’ (James 4:2).

There are four things that are unlawful to be desired. To desire the life of thine enemy is unlawful (1 Kings 3:11; Deut 5:21). To desire anything that is thy neighbour’s is unlawful. To desire to share in the prosperity of the wicked is unlawful (Psa 73:3). To desire spiritual things for evil ends is unlawful (Prov 24:1,19; James 4:2-4).

Are they lawful things which thou desirest? Yet the question is, Are they absolutely or conditionally promised? If absolutely promised, hold on in desiring; if conditionally promised, then thou must consider whether they are such as are essential to the well-being of thy soul in thy Christian course in this life. Or whether they are things that are of a more inferior sort.

If they are such as are essential to the well-being of thy soul in thy Christian course in this world, then hold on in thy desires; and look also for the conditions that that word calls for, that proffereth them to thee; and if it be not possible to find them in thyself, look for them in Christ, and cry to God for them, for the Lord’s sake. But if they be of an inferior sort, and thou canst be a good Christian without them, desire them, and yet be content to go without them; for who knows but it may be better that thou shouldest be denied, than that thou shouldest have now a grant of some things thou desirest? and herein thou hast thy Lord for thy pattern; who, though he desired that his life might be prolonged, yet wound up that prayer with a ‘nevertheless, not my will, but thine be done’ (Matt 26:39-42; Mark 14:36).

Second. By way of answer; but we will suppose that the thing thou desirest is good; and that thy heart may be right in asking; as suppose thou desirest more grace; or as David has it, more ‘truth in the inward and hidden part’ (Psa 51:6). Yet there are several things for thy instruction, may be replied to thy objection, as, 1. Thou, though thou desirest more of this, mayest not yet be sensible of the worth of what thou askest, as perhaps God will have thee be, before he granteth thy desire; sometimes Christians ask for good things without having in themselves an estimate proportionable to the worth of what they desire; and God may hold it therefore back, to learn them to know better the worth and greatness of that thing they ask for. The good disciples asked they knew not what (Mark 10:38). I know they asked what was unlawful, but they were ignorant of the value of that thing; and the same may be thy fault when thou askest for things most lawful and necessary.

2. Hast thou well improved what thou hast received already? Fathers will hold back more money, when the sons have spent that profusely which they had received before. ‘He that is faithful in that which is least, is faithful also in much; and he that is unjust in the least, is unjust also in much.’ ‘And if ye have not been faithful in that which is another man’s, who shall give you that which is your own?’ (Luke 16:10,12). See here an objection made against a further supply, or rather against such a supply as some would have, because they have misspent, or been unfaithful in what they have already had. If thou, therefore, hast been faulty here, go, humble thyself to thy friend, and beg pardon for thy faults that are past, when thou art desiring of him more grace.

3. When God gives to his the grant of their desires, he doth it so as may be best for our advantage; now there are times wherein the giving of grace may be best to our advantage; as, (1.) Just before a temptation comes, then, if it rains grace on thee from heaven, it may be most for thy advantage. This is like God’s sending of plenty in Egypt just before the years of famine came. (2.) For God to restrain that which thou desirest, even till the spirit of prayer is in a manner spent, may be further to inform thee, that though prayer and desires are a duty, and such also to which the promise is made; yet God sees those imperfections in both thy prayers and desires, as would utterly bind his hands, did he not act towards thee merely from motives drawn from his own bowels and compassion, rather than from any deserving that he sees in thy prayers.

Christians, even righteous men, are apt to lean too much to their own doings; and God, to wean them from them, ofttimes defers to do what they by doing expect, even until in doing their spirits are spent, and they as to doing can do no longer. When they that cried for water had cried till their spirits failed, and their tongue clave to the roof of their mouth for thirst; then the Lord did hear, and then the God of Israel did give them their desire. Also when Jonas his soul fainted under the consideration of all the evils that he had brought upon himself; then his prayer came unto God into his holy temple (Jonah 2:7; Isa 41:17,18). The righteous would be too light in asking, and would too much overprize their works, if their God should not sometimes deal in this manner with them. (3.) It is also to the advantage of the righteous, that they be kept and led in that way which will best improve grace already received, and that is, when they spin it out and use it to the utmost; when they do with it as the prophet did with that meal’s meat that he ate under the juniper-tree, ‘he went in the strength of that meat forty days and forty nights, even to the mount of God’ (1 Kings 19:8). Or when they do as the widow did, spend upon their handful of flour in the barrel, and upon that little oil in the cruse, till God shall send more plenty (1 Kings 17:9-16). The righteous are apt to be like well fed children, too wanton, if God should not appoint them some fasting days. Or they would be apt to cast away fragments, if God should give them every day a new dish.

So then God will grant the desires of the righteous in that way which will be most for their advantage. And that is, when they have made the best of the old store (1 Kings 19:4-8). If God should give us two or three harvests in a year, we should incline to feed our horse and hogs with wheat; but being as it is, we learn better to husband the matter.

By this means, we are also made to see, that there is virtue sufficient in our old store of grace to keep us with God in the way of our duty, longer than we could imagine it would. I myself have cried out I can stand no longer, hold out no longer, without a further supply of grace; and yet I have by my old grace been kept even after this, days, and weeks, and months, in a way of waiting on God. A little true grace will go a great way, yea, and do more wonders than we are aware of. If we have but grace enough to keep us groaning after God, it is not all the world that can destroy us.[19]

4. Perhaps thou mayest be mistaken. The grace thou prayest for, may in great measure be come unto thee. Thou hast been desiring of God, thou sayest, more grace; but hast it not.

But how, if whilst thou lookest for it to come to thee at one door, it should come to thee in at another? And that we may a little inquire into the truth of this, let us a little consider what are the effects of grace in its coming to the soul, and then see if it has not been coming unto thee almost ever since thou hast set upon this fresh desire after it. (1.) Grace, in the general effect of it, is to mend the soul, and to make it better disposed. Hence when it comes, it brings convincing light along with it, by which a man sees more of his baseness than at other times. More, I say, of his inward baseness. It is through the shinings of the Spirit of grace that those cobwebs and stinks that yet remain in thee are discovered: ‘In thy light shall we see light.’ And again, whatsoever makes manifest is light. If then thou seest thyself more vile than formerly, grace by its coming to thee has done this for thee. (2.) Grace, when it comes, breaks and crumbles the heart, in the sense and sight of its vileness. A man stands amazed and confounded in himself; breaks and falls down on his face before God; is ashamed to lift up so much as his face to God, at the sight and apprehension of how wicked he is. (3.) Grace, when it comes, shows to a man more of the holiness and patience of God; his holiness to make us wonder at his patience, and his patience to make us wonder at his mercy, that yet, even yet, such a vile one as I am, should be admitted to breathe in the land of the living, yea more, suffered to come to the throne of grace. (4.) Grace is of a heart-humbling nature: it will make a man count himself the most unworthy of anything, of all saints. It will make a man put all others afore him, and be glad too, if he may be one beloved, though least beloved, because most unworthy. It will make him with gladness accept of the lowest room, as counting all saints more worthy of exaltation than himself. (5.) Grace will make a man prize other men’s graces and gracious actions above his own. As he thinks every man’s candle burns brighter than his, every man improves grace better than he, every good man does more sincerely his duty than he. And if these be not some of the effects of the renewings of grace, I will confess I have taken my mark amiss. (6.) Renewings of grace beget renewed self-bemoanings, self-condemnation, self-abhorrences.

And say thou prayest for communion with, and the presence of God.

God can have communion with thee, and grant thee his presence, and all this shall, instead of comforting of thee at present, more confound thee, and make thee see thy wickedness (Isa 6:1-5). Some people think they never have the presence and the renewings of God’s grace upon them but when they are comforted, and when they are cheered up; when, alas! God may be richly with them, while they cry out, By these visions my sorrows are multiplied; or, because I have seen God, I shall die (Dan 10:8-17; Judg 13:22).

And tell me now, all these things considered, has not grace, even the grace of God, which thou hast so much desired, been coming to thee, and working in thee in all these hidden methods?