The Life of Trust - George Müller (bill gates books recommendations TXT) 📗

PAST MERCIES AN ENCOURAGEMENT TO NEW UNDERTAKINGS—A HOUSE FOR SEVEN HUNDRED ORPHANS PROPOSED—WALKING BY FAITH—COUNSEL SOUGHT FROM GOD—THE PURPOSE FORMED—DELIGHT IN THE MAGNITUDE AND DIFFICULTY OF THE DESIGN.

December 5, 1850. It is now sixteen years and nine months this evening since I began the Scriptural Knowledge Institution for Home and Abroad. This Institution was in its beginning exceedingly small. Now it is so large that I have not only disbursed, since its commencement, about fifty thousand pounds sterling, but that also the current expenses, after the rate of the last months, amount to above six thousand pounds a year. I did “open my mouth wide,” this very evening fifteen years ago, and the Lord has filled it. The new Orphan House is now inhabited by three hundred orphans; and there are altogether three hundred and thirty-five persons connected with it. My labor is abundant. The separation from my dear wife and child is great, on account of my being the greater part of the day at the new Orphan House; sometimes also by night. But notwithstanding all this, I have again and again thought about laboring more than ever in serving poor orphans. Within the last ten days this matter has much occupied my mind, and for the last five days I have had much prayer about it. It has passed through my mind to build another Orphan House, large enough for seven hundred orphans, so that I might be able to care for one thousand altogether. The points which have led me to this thought are: 1. The many distressing cases of children, bereaved of both parents, who have no helper. I have received two hundred and seven orphans within the last sixteen months, and have now seventy-eight waiting for admission, without having vacancies for any. I had about sixty children waiting for admission about sixteen months since, so about two hundred and thirty children have been applied for within these sixteen months. But, humanly speaking, for the next sixteen months the number of applications will be far greater, as the work is now so much more widely known; except it be that persons may hear that the new Orphan House is quite full, and on that account may consider it useless to apply. 2. The constitution of most other charitable institutions for orphans makes the admission of a really destitute orphan, i. e. a child bereaved of both parents, and without an influential friend, very difficult, if not hopeless; for the admission by means of the votes of the donors precludes really poor persons from having, in most instances, the benefit of these institutions, as they cannot give the time nor expend the money necessary for obtaining such votes. I have myself seen that certain candidates had several thousand votes. The necessity of this arrangement being continued may be much regretted by many who are connected with such institutions, but they have no power to alter it. In our case, nothing is needed but application to me; and the very poorest person, without influence, without friends, without any expense, no matter where he lives, or of whatever religious denomination, who applies for children born in lawful wedlock, bereaved of both parents, and in destitute circumstances, may procure their admission. Now, as the new poor-law is against giving relief to relatives for orphan children out of the poor-houses; and as there is such a difficulty for really poor people to get their orphan relatives admitted into ordinary orphan establishments; I feel myself particularly called upon to be the friend of the orphan, by making an easy way for admission, provided it is really a destitute case. 3. The confidence which God has caused thousands of his children to repose in me calls upon me to make use of it to the utmost of my power, and to seek yet more largely to be their almoner. 4. The experience which I have had in this service now for fifteen years, during which time I have gone from the smallest commencement of the work to the having at present three hundred orphans under my care, calls upon me to make use of this my experience to the utmost of my power. No member of a committee, no president of a society, could possibly have the same experience, except he himself had practically been engaged in such a work for a number of years, as I have been. 5. This very experience makes things light to me, under God’s help, which were difficult to me formerly, and which would be very difficult now to many: might I not therefore proceed still further? 6. If seven hundred more young souls could be brought under regular godly training (and their number would be renewed from time to time), what blessed service for the kingdom of Christ, and what profitable expenditure of labor, too, with the blessing of God, even for this realm, in a civil and moral point of view! 7. But that which outweighs every one of these six reasons is, lastly, this: I began this orphan work fifteen years ago for the very purpose of illustrating to the world and to the church that there is verily a God in heaven who hears prayer; that God is the living God. Now, this last object is more and more fully accomplished the larger the work is, provided I am helped in obtaining the means simply through prayer and faith.

But whilst such like thoughts have passed through my mind, there are others of another character. For instance: 1. I have already an abundance of work. 2. My dear wife has already an abundance of work. Her whole time, with little intermission (except for prayer and reading of the Word of God), is occupied, directly or indirectly, about the orphans. 3. Am I not undertaking too much for my bodily strength and my mental powers, by thinking about another Orphan House? 4. Am I not going beyond the measure of my faith in thinking about enlarging the work so as to double or treble it? 5. Is not this a delusion of Satan, an attempt to cast me down altogether from my sphere of usefulness, by making me to go beyond my measure? 6. Is it not also, perhaps, a snare to puff me up, in attempting to build a very large Orphan House?

Under these circumstances I can only pray that the Lord in his tender mercy would not allow Satan to gain an advantage over me. By the grace of God my heart says,—Lord, if I could be sure that it is thy will that I should go forward in this matter, I would do so cheerfully; and, on the other hand, if I could be sure that these are vain, foolish, proud thoughts, that they are not from thee, I would, by thy grace, hate them, and entirely put them aside.

My hope is in God; he will help me and teach me. Judging, however, from his former dealings with me, it would not be a strange thing to me, nor surprising, if he called me to labor yet still more largely in this way.

The thoughts about enlarging the orphan work have not arisen on account of an abundance of money having lately come in; for I have had of late to wait for about seven weeks upon God, whilst little, very little comparatively, came in, i. e. about four times as much was going out as came in; and, had not the Lord previously sent me large sums, we should have been distressed indeed.

Lord, how can thy servant know thy will in this matter? Wilt thou be pleased to teach him?

Dec. 11. During the last six days, since writing the above, I have been, day after day, waiting upon God concerning this matter. It has generally been more or less all the day on my heart. When I have been awaking at night, it has not been far from my thoughts. Yet all this without the least excitement. I am perfectly calm and quiet respecting it. My soul would be rejoiced to go forward in this service, could I be sure that the Lord would have me to do so; for then, notwithstanding the numberless difficulties, all would be well, and his name would be magnified.

On the other hand, were I assured that the Lord would have me to be satisfied with my present sphere of service, and that I should not pray about enlarging the work, by his grace I could,