The Life of Trust - George Müller (bill gates books recommendations TXT) 📗

she felt in particular difficulty on account of her inability to pay the yearly ground-rent of the little house and garden, and she asked the Lord to enable her to sell the property, in order that she might be able to carry out her desire which she had had for ten years, to give to him the proceeds of this her possession. He now helped her. The house was sold, the money paid, and she put the whole ninety pounds into the orphan box for me, being assured that the Lord would direct me how best the money might be used for him. I still questioned her again and again, to find out whether it was not excitement which had led her to act as she had done; but I not only saw that her mind had been fully decided about this act for ten years before, but that she also was able to answer from the word of God all the objections which I purposely made, in order to probe her, whether she had intelligently and from right motives acted in what she had done. At last I was fully satisfied that it was not from impulse, nor under excitement, that she had given the money. I next stated to her something like this: “You are poor, and you are about sixty years old, therefore decreasing in strength, and may you not therefore keep this money for yourself?” Her reply was, as nearly as I remember, something like this: “God has always provided for me, and I have no doubt he will do so in future also. I am able to work and to earn my bread as well as others, and am willing to work as a nurse, or in any other way.” What could I say against this? This is just what a child of God would say, and should say. But the greatest of all the difficulties to the accepting of the eighty-five pounds remained in my mind, and I state it, as I relate the whole for the profit of the reader. It was this. The house had been sold for ninety pounds. The whole amount had been put into the box, but, on the persuasion of those two brethren who were requested to remonstrate with this widow, she had been induced to take back five pounds out of the ninety pounds. I therefore said to myself, might she not be willing, after a time, to take back the whole ninety pounds; how, therefore, can I feel happy in accepting this money? On this account I particularly laid stress upon this point, and told her that I feared she might regret her act altogether after some time, as she had taken back this five pounds. I now learned the circumstances under which she had been induced to take back this five pounds.

The two brethren who had called on her for the purpose of pointing out to her the propriety of receiving back again the ninety pounds, or part of it, told her that Barnabas sold his land, but afterwards lived with others on that which he and others had thrown into the common stock, and that, therefore, she might receive at least part of the ninety pounds back again, if she would not take the whole. She then said to herself that, “as a child of God, she might take the children’s portion,” and, as she had given to God this ninety pounds, she might receive five pounds back again. She told me that she considered the brethren had shown her from the Holy Scriptures what she might do, and therefore she had taken this five pounds. I did not myself agree with the judgment of those brethren who had said this (as there is no evidence that Barnabas ever was supported out of the common stock, the proceeds of the sale of houses and lands, out of which the poor were supported); but I purposely said nothing to the widow, lest she should at once be induced to give me this five pounds also. She had, however, this five pounds untouched, and showed it to me; and before she left she would make me take one pound of it for the benefit of the orphans, which I did not refuse, as I had no intention of keeping the eighty-five pounds. She also gave me a sixpence for the orphans, which some one had given her for herself, a few days before.

I now asked her, as this matter concerning the retaining of the five pounds was satisfactorily explained, as far as it respected her own state of heart, what she wished me to do with the money, in case I saw it right to keep it. Her reply was that she would leave that with me, that God would direct me concerning it; but that, if she said anything at all about it, she should most like it to be used for the support of brethren who labor in the word without any salary, and who hazard their lives for the name of Christ. She wished me to have a part of the money; but this I flatly refused, lest I should be evil spoken of in this matter. I then offered to pay her travelling expenses, as she had come to me, which she would not accept, as she did not stand in need of it. In conclusion, I told her that I would now further pray respecting this matter, and consider what to do concerning it. I then prayed with this dear, godly woman, commended her to God, separated from her, and have not seen her since.

I waited from Aug. 9, 1853, to March 7, 1854, when I wrote to her, offering her back again the whole eighty-five pounds, or a part of it. On March 9, 1854, just seven months after I had received the money, and just nine months after she had actually given it, and ten years and nine months after she had made the resolution to give her house and garden to God, I heard from her, stating that she was of the same mind as she had been for years. I therefore disposed of the money, to aid such foreign missionary brethren as, according to the best of my knowledge, resembled most the class of men whom she wished to assist.

The reasons why I have so minutely dwelt upon this circumstance are: 1. If, as a steward of the bounties of the children of God, I should be blamed for receiving from a poor widow almost literally her all, it may be seen in what manner I did so. To have refused on March 9, 1854, also, would be going beyond what I should be warranted to do. 2. I desired, also, to give a practical illustration that I only desire donations in God’s way. It is not the money only I desire; but the money received in answer to prayer, in God’s order. 3. This circumstance illustrates how God helps me often in the most unexpected manner. 4. I have also related this instance that there may be a fresh proof that even in these last days the love of Christ is of constraining power, and may work mightily, as in the days of the apostles. I have witnessed many such instances as this, in the twenty years during which I have been occupied in this my service. Let us give thanks to God for such cases, and let us seek for grace rather to imitate such godly men and women, than think that they are going too far. I cannot, however, dismiss this subject, without commending this poor widow to the prayers of all who love our Lord Jesus, that she may be kept humble, lest, thinking highly of herself, on account of what she has been enabled to do, by the grace of God, she should not only lose blessing in her own soul, but this circumstance should become a snare to her. Pray also, believing reader, that she may never be allowed to regret what she has done for the Lord.