Transparent - Soccerluv4 (: (booksvooks txt) 📗

overcome with so much shame I could hardly look at my mate. I was a real fucking screw up.

“Cass,” Reece breathed out, causing my body to shiver slightly.

Glancing back up at him, I didn’t realize that he’d traveled a few feet closer to me, holding up a hand like he wanted to reach out. He held back, however, and slowly dropped his hand, looking away.

“We can’t be together,” he spoke finally, causing a sudden sharp pain in my heart, before he continued, “not like this anyway.”

He looked back at me, a grim frown etched onto his face.

“That night when we were in here, you…you freaked out. Something is obviously going on with you, and you’re not ready to overcome it. And all these fucking games, they’re obviously a way to deflect what’s really going on. You’re not ready to be mates, I understand that, but it’s only going to hurt us if we try and pretend that everything is fine. So, I think we should keep our distance until you have everything sorted out. Until then, we keep to ourselves and focus on what needs to be done,” he finished, looking at me as though I’d break into a million pieces.

I felt the words he said fall like bricks on my chest. He was right. There was no way we’d be able to work as mates if I didn’t sort my issues out. That night in the kitchen was getting too intense for me, it was bringing up issues about that night and I had experienced a full blown panic attack. I needed to get everything sorted out before even thinking of having a relationship with Reece. I couldn’t keep putting him through this torture, even if last night was as amazing to me as it was to him. He was in pain, clearly, that I couldn’t tell him about my issues, and it would just keep hurting him until he couldn’t take it anymore. I wasn’t just hurting his feelings, I was toying with a sacred mate bond that the moon goddess blessed us, and every stab in the back I caused Reece would feel a thousand times worse than in a human relationship. His wolf was in pain from what I was doing, and I felt so completely ashamed.

“You’re right,” I nodded at him, clasping my hands together in front of me.

“We can’t keep doing this to each other. I know…I know I’m not ready to tell you what happened to me, but I will, eventually, and when I do, that’s when I know I’m ready to commit to this…to us,” I spoke quietly, glancing down at my hands.

All I heard was silence, so I looked back up, seeing Reece’s head turned away from me, his jaw clenched impossibly tight.

“I hate this so fucking much, but it has to be done,” he bit out, clenching and unclenching his fists.

“I hate how I can feel your wolf’s sadness and anger at our decisions, and I hate that my wolf and your wolf are in so much pain trying to be together, but I know this is the best thing for us.” He concluded, releasing his jaw and turning his head back over to me, his eyes a sharp gold.

I sucked in a breath and looked back down. All he said was absolutely true. I could feel the immense pain my wolf was feeling, having her mate so close but still so far away.

“Yes, it is,” I whispered softly, biting down on my lip hardly. I could feel it trembling as I tried to keep my tears at bay. This was what we had to do, and I needed to man up and accept it.

“Okay then, let’s do this,” I said abruptly, my voice strong. I held out a hand for him to shake. He glanced down at my hand in surprise, before grasping it softly and shaking it. I ignored the tingles that shot up my arm and promptly displayed a firm smile. I was determined to make this work for us and I was not going to let my irresponsibility and my damaged past to mess up my future. I was going to be the mate Reece needed me to be, and I was more determined than ever to do it.

Chapter 10

Our hands dropped down from their clasped position and a strong silence filled the air. I peered up at Reece from underneath my lashes and found myself hit with the reality of the pact we just made. It all seemed too real, him standing there, trying not to seem just as affected as I was.

The silence broke when Reece’s phone rang out, the shrill ringtone causing a drift from the awkward tension in the air.

“Hello?” Reece answered, turning his back to me and walking towards the kitchen entrance.

I couldn’t make out what the person was saying on the other end, but I could tell it wasn’t good. Reece’s tension seemed to resonate from his body to mine via our bond and I could feel the stress of what the other person had said affecting him deeply.

“Alright, I’ll see to it.” Reece ended the call, and slipped the phone into his pocket.

For a few seconds, he just stood there, back facing me, his shoulders rising and falling with every breath he took.

“Is everything okay?” I asked softly.

It seemed like what I’d said broke him from whatever trance he was in, because he finally turned around and faced me, a hard look in his eyes.

“There are some issues going on with my pack currently that I need to attend to. I need to leave immediately to address it. Will you be fine staying here?” He asked, though it seemed more like a command.

“Yeah, I’ll be fine,” I said abruptly, straightening my shoulders, “How long will you be gone?”

“I’ll most likely return by night but I’ll let you know if I need to stay at my pack. You sure you’ll be safe here?” I could feel his tension and worry, and for once, I realized it was from leaving me behind. His wolf was fiercely protective of mine, and the idea of him leaving me here didn’t sound too good.

“Yes, my pack has excellent guards and I’m a skilled fighter. I can defend myself,” I stated quickly, a little defensive. He should know that as an Alpha female, I’m already far stronger than normal wolves, and my parents have skilled me at combat training since I shifted. I was not an amateur.

Reece gave me a withered look, but nonetheless accepted my response. His piercing eyes held my own before he pulled them away and turned around, heading out of the kitchen and to the backyard.

I watched from the doorway as he broke out into a run and jumped up, shifting midair. His clothes shredded and flew to the ground as he sprinted into the woods. I stood there for a few more minutes, just watching the forest rustle from the breeze.

My shoulders slumped down, as if the weight of the world was on them. I knew we had just made this pact, but I couldn’t help it when my wolf whined for her mate. It was going to be a long road – that was for sure.

                                        ********* [1 week later]

I felt my eyes shoot open, and a strange burning sensation fill my abdomen. Sitting up with a start, I clutched my midsection as a bead of sweat fell down my forehead.

My breathing turned shallow, like water was filling my lungs, and I struggled to get air in.

Stumbling out of bed, I fumbled for with the light switch as I got into the bathroom and placed my hands on the counter, heaving into the sink.

Turning on the faucet, I greedily splashed water all over my face, but the burning feeling in my stomach turned into sharp pains, causing me to stumble down to my knees.

My vision blurred, as the distant sound of water running filled my ears. I grabbed onto my head as a sudden pounding increased in my skull.

Abruptly, all the pain dulled slightly, and I felt myself opening my eyes.

“What the hell…” I whispered, trying to stand up, but the pain in my stomach was still making it difficult to stand.

I got up finally and placed my hands on the counter, shutting off the water. My fingers grasped my forehead softly, as I leaned on the counter.

‘What on earth was that?’ I questioned my wolf, hoping she could shed some light on what was happening.

‘Mate…’ she whispered faintly, before she was silent.

I opened my eyes wide and felt a shiver go down my spine.

This wasn’t my pain. It was my mate’s.

“Reece,” I whispered, before scrambling out of my bathroom and throwing my closet door open. I grabbed a duffle bag out and stuffed it with a few of my clothes.

Zipping it up, I ran down the stairs and out the backyard door.

Stopping abruptly, I surveyed the yard for which patrols were making their rounds.

I quickly shed my clothes and shifted, putting my duffle bag strap across my wolf body.

There were two patrols currently on the border, but I could smell their scents traveling towards the outer borders of the land. If I slipped past them using the north direction, I would be able to get out unseen.

I started out with a jog, surveying around the land, before I broke out into a run, heading for the forest.

I slowed down, feeling a presence coming closer to me. Growling, I came to a stop, as a large brown wolf jumped from behind a cluster of trees.

It was Eli, one of the few pack warriors on patrol.

‘Cassandra, where are you going?’ He asked me through our pack mind link.

‘Eli, I can’t explain much, but I need to go to another pack. Please let me go.’ I pleaded back, hoping he wouldn’t make me use my alpha command on him.

‘I can’t allow that,’ was his reply, ‘it’s unsafe for you to go alone.’

I wanted to groan. I needed to leave and he wasn’t going to let me go. I had no choice but to use my alpha command.

‘Eli,’ I stated his name, watching as the command echoed over his wolf and caused him to lower his head in submission. ‘I need to leave, so you will let me leave and inform Beta Jennings that I am at the Night Shadows pack. He can come retrieve me from there. But you may not follow me as I leave.’

I could see his wolf submit to my demands, and felt a wave of relief. With one last look, I darted off into the woods, my fur flattening against my body as the wind rushed past me. My legs rippled through the dense forest, launching me as fast as I could go. My wolf could sense her mate’s distress and used this fear to push us as hard as ever to get to him.

Glancing up at the moon, I could see it lighting the expanse before me, and I sent a silent prayer up to the moon goddess. Reece had to be okay. He had to be.

After the day he left when we had made our pact, Reece had informed me that there was some important issue he needed to attend