Brown Skin - Timaira Smith (books to read in your 30s txt) 📗

rest his soul. He closed his eyes and began to rock back and forth. "I want her as my wife but it will be complicated because she has no royal blood. The Privy Council, Parliment and my kingdom would not want her as a queen....I want her as mine......" He fell backwards, lying on his back. He rubbed his brow in frustration. His mind was thinking of plans....but none seemed fathomable. He was losing hope in being with his precious Lillian.

Mother dear I trusted you
To keep my heart from love not true
I lost hope If you only knew
The frightful thought of losing him

Father may I cry these tears
Give me comfort from these fears
Never in all these years
Have I held on to every whim

I have love or at least I had
I cry now I once was glad
Joy is gone now I am sad
I know not what to do

Mother dear please give me hope
Father help me learn to cope
Send the Rabbi, send the Pope
For once I just trusted you...

 

He continued to listen to her lovely song. This is not the first one he has heard since he last spoke to her. She seemed to do it every night. This one, however sounded sad, her felt her tears. His heart was wretched, because he knew that he was the source of her pain. He put his hands over his eyes and held back the urge to run down to her chambers. He listened to her continue to sing, allowing himself to be serenaded by her "Ahhhs" and "Ooohs" of sorrow. He tortured himself himself, cursing himself for doing this to her. But he had to protect her. He was on the verge of tears from aching for her so bad until he heard a tap on his chamber door. He got up and ran to it swinging it up hoping it was his love. He leaned in his face after opening the door and closed his eyes expecting a kiss.

"My lord? What are you doing?" It was Macy. The king immediately drew back and turned red. He cleared his throat and redeemed his composure.

"Leave please, I did not request your presence." He flicked his hand and turned his back towards her disappointed. He lowered his head and walked towards his bed.

"Please, your majesty. I know you did not invite me but please allow me to speak. It is not for me, but for Edwina..." The king stopped in his tracks and ran to the door, looking over Macy's broad shoulders to see if someone was in the hallway. When he confirmed there was no one he moved out the way for Macy to walk in and slammed the door behind her. Suddenly Macy was almost knocked down with a hyper King Troy as he ran to grip her shoulders.

"What is it? Is she well? What has happened? What is going on?!" Macy stood stunned and shocked as she was almost shaken to death. She stuttered for the king to let her go and he finally came to his senses and let her go. He walked over to his bed and sunk down heavily with a melancholy sigh. Macy watched him as he put his head in his hands. She never seen a man act this way, nevertheless the king of the nation. She looked at him closely and did not see a king, but something almost like a sad little boy. Something in her heart, surely what Lillian has put there by showing her love, wanted to reach out and lift his spirits. She slowly walked over to the bed and sat down next to him. She hesitated but slowly but put a comforting hand on his shoulder. She felt him tense up momentarily then relax again. There was silence between the two for it seemed like forever.

"It is nothing bad, my lord. I am just concerned for her. Lately she has been low, which is unusual for her personality. She is usually joyful and annoyingly optimistic but she now just does her work and sings herself solemn songs to sleep, nothing more, nothing less. I have come to the conclusion that she has fallen deeply in love with you and these two months of not being in contact with you is shattering her heart. I know it is none of my business, but my lord, I do care about her, because she is the best friend that I have ever had. Edwina has a such good heart my lord. So I ask of you, please if there is any way that you can ease her pain, help her lose her feelings for you or anything, just do it to the best of your ability. If not for her, for me."

"Lillian...."

"My lord?"

"Her name is not Edwina, that is just a mere name change. Her real name is Lillian." Macy looked at the ground and blushed. How could she care about this girl and not know her real name? She shook off her shame.

"Lillian, my lord, has a dark cloud gliding above her, and it is a shock to me, especially since she has nothing but love to show everyone she meets. She deserves to be happy, my lord. I do not know how you really feel about her but I know that she needs you. It was like you were what made her lively. You were her joy, and now not seeing you has taken every bit of happiness away from her. Please do something to understand what she is going through. Anything and soon would be lovely, your majesty." King Troy looked up at Macy, then lowered his head again, shaking it slightly.

"You only have half of the information you seek, Macy. While it is true that she may love me, what you do not know is that I have fallen in love with her as well, multiple times over. I know I am the cause of her pain. I would do anything to make her happy and wipe any possible tears that fall from her beautiful face. But try to see it in my standpoint. I am a monarch in a world that believes that marriage is only for producing children and should be loveless. Then I fall in love with this mystery, this most amazing woman in all of my years that I have ever met. I have these dreams about her, about a wedding day, a wedding night, and the many days and nights that follow. I dream of us making love, and conceiving a child, my child and her giving birth with me present at her side. But these are just dreams! Oh it actually hurts knowing that those dreams could never come true. I am in pain too, Macy. It hurts so bad to be in this love but I just cannot let her go! I stayed away from her to protect her....and I hate myself for putting this notable distance between us. Oh how I wish to just hold her in my arms again..." He put his head in his hands and let one tear slide down his manly face. Macy definitely did not see him as a king now. She wrapped a comforting arm around his back and patted his shoulder.

"If you love her so, My lord, then why do you not show it, be with her. She deserves love more than anyone. And to be frank of your few years of reign you have done everything to please this kingdom and make no enemies. You deserve a wish for yourself and you and Ed..Lillian deserve each other." The king shook his head violently.

"I am a king, Macy. I cannot just marry her, I thought that I could but I forgot the fact that I am a ruler! There are processes, actions, people I have to rebel against, organizations with too much power that I would have to break from. It is not that I would not if I could, it is the fact that I just cannot! Do you think that it is a secret that I have no queen? No! Even the Church itself has paraded wenches under my nose, hoping I could sniff up some love from one of them, meaning that they just want an heir from her. But now that I found a woman for love, Parliament, the Privy Council and the kingdom would have everything to say against it, not just because of her appearance but also because of her lack of royal blood and it is too much risk..."

"And you care for words, My lord?" The king stopped and stood completely still. Macy was right, he was afraid. When she saw that he was racking his brain with her words she softened her tone. "I understand what your dilemma is. I completely agree that Parliament and the council have a lot of power, that they can abuse or use correctly. But you are the king, and from what I heard if there is anything that you want you go after it, and no one can get in your way. Surely the Church would not disagree with your request of marriage. It even says in the holy book that marriage is to be sacred. You want to marry her, marry her, find a way to get around the law and your monarchy duties. This space between you and her has to end before it ends the both of you. "

"The only way I could get the Church on my side is to talk to the Pope and..."

"Talk to the Pope then."

" I cannot just speak to the Pope, you know that. Or maybe my childhood mentor could...."

"There, my lord, now your lost hope is now restored." The King looked at her. He almost laughed at her confidence. He did admit to himself though that his spirits were lifted. He smiled at her and she smiled back.

"Thank you Macy, I pray that all will be well. Speaking of...how is the child growing?" He asked out of pure innocence It should be said that King Troy is also a very questioning person, with a need to understand things. He was curious about pregnant women. He was
intrigued by what love can do to a woman and how strong it could feel to her man.

"Strong and even more strong. It is getting tiresome to live with this burden."

"You should not see it as a burden. My parents always told me that a child has a way of bring love in a hopeless place."

"I suppose so, but right now, this baby has been the source of a lot of trouble for many different people...and its father does not even care for it. Ever since word got out about that altercation between, you, me, my mistress and Lillian, I have not seen him. I hope I can grow to love it."

"You should, a baby is a miracle."

"I suppose, I know for a fact if you and Lillian conceive, you would treat that child with nothing but love and as a blessing."

"We must be married first, Macy."

"I know, do not listen to me my lord, It was foolish fun that got this baby near to entering the world."

"I will see to it that it will be brought into the world safely."

"Thank you, your majesty, you are a very kind king, it is easy to see what Lillian has fell for. It is late, I should leave now. Thank you for hearing my words." Macy got up and struggled to bow low to the