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because I want you just as bad as I wanted you back in college, Hazel… Better yet, I want you even more… I’m done fighting it… I only wish you would stop fighting it too….”

 Ava gasped a second time. She was stunned by his confession. “Wow…” She muttered. She couldn’t form any words. She was completely speechless.

“I know you have a boyfriend…” Blake continued. “But I don’t believe he treats you the way you should be treated… You’re not as happy as you were before you met him…”

Ava’s jaw dropped and her brow furrowed, her body growing hot in anxiety. Blake was speaking facts. Facts she was too embarrassed and ashamed to admit. She looked away nervously.  “You don’t know what you’re talking about…” Ava forced herself to lie out loud.

Blake slipped a finger underneath Ava’s chin, forcing her to look at him again. “Okay fine... you don’t have to tell me about it… but at least tell me one thing Hazel…. Have you ever thought about us? Me and you? At least once???” He licked his lips while still holding the bottom of her chin. Ava was trembling underneath her clothes being this close underneath him. His body heat felt warm and welcoming. His deep, sexy tone was soothing her in ways she didn’t want to be soothed. She replayed his question inside of her head. Have you ever thought about us? Me and you? At least once??? The feeling stirring in the pit of Ava’s stomach was abnormal and unfamiliar. If she claimed she never thought about being with Blake, she would be lying. Ava had grown accustomed to lying.  Whatever feelings she had for him, she ignored them. She pushed them so far into the back of her mind to the point they didn’t exist anymore. And then came Desean. Everything changed when she met him. She had fallen in love with someone for the first time in her life. Desean sheltered her. He was a shellfish, insecure man who was completley threatened by Ava’s dangerously attractive male friend. Once she had been given the ultimatum to end her friendship with Blake, she obliged with no questions asked. Back then, she would have done whatever Desean asked.  Even if it meant removing someone out of her life that actually meant something to her…

Ava took a deep breath and shook those thoughts out of her head. She wasn’t ready to answer that question. She wasn’t ready to begin admitting her truths.  “What about Jade???” Ava changed the subject and began asking about her friend. She had been right all along. Jade was into him way more than he was into her.

Blake sighed. “She’s a good woman… I’m sure there’s a man out there who will take great care of her someday…” Slyly, he continued to stroke her chin which he still held in the palm of his hand. His jaw was clenched as he looked at her, his face appearing as if he were having trouble containing himself. “She’s great… But she’s not the one for me… You are, Hazel… You’re the one…”

A burning sensation immediately filled her chest. A chill ran up her spine that she could not shake. She’s not the one for me. You are, Hazel… You’re the one… She repeated him inside her head, making sure she heard each word correctly.  “Blake… I….” she stumbled over her words again. Ava was overwhelmed and could not find the right sentences to explain how she was feeling. She closed her eyes, deciding quickly now was not the time or the place to dig deep. For heaven’s sake, they stood outside Jade’s house in broad daylight in a place where they could easily be spotted. As if coming to her senses, she backed away after realizing they had been standing way too close for way too long. “Blake… maybe we can talk about this later?” she asked, rushing to end this conversation.

In return, he nodded his head. He cautiously stepped back, creating a fair distance in-between the two. “Can I pick you up tomorrow at 8 o’clock? I would like to cook you a really nice dinner.” He bravely invited her to his place, a condo located off Adams Street which she hadn’t been to in ages. Ava was flabbergasted by his invitation. “Whoa...whoa… slow down.” She held up her hands, beginning to feel smothered by her own anxiety. She motioned for him to stop talking nonsense. “I can’t come to your house! Jade would kill me!” she shouted at him, knowing for sure her friend would be devastated once finding out about all of this. How am I going to tell her??? Jade really really likes him. I should have known better getting myself involved! This is all wrong!

 Blake smacked his lips and shrugged his shoulders. He was not going to let that stop him. “Don’t tell her…” he challenged her, instructing her to keep a secret from the woman she told everything to. Ava was stunned by his request. She thought he had gotten over these feelings years ago.  But clearly, she was wrong for believing that.

“Blake, this is too much for me right now… I’m sorry, but will you please leave??? Before someone spots us???” she pleaded desperately. Jade was at work and shouldn’t arrive until later that afternoon, but she was still paranoid. Blake was disappointed but he nodded his head. Slowly, he began to back away with his hands stuck inside his pocket. “Please, Hazel…” he spoke one last time, making one last attempt. “Tomorrow 8 o’clock. My place. Just think about it… okay?”

Ava stared at him backing away. Instead of answering, she silently nodded her head. She didn’t want to say too much or give him false hopes. He smiled at her one last time. She couldn’t smile back. Instead she stood with a confused expression on her face as Blake turned on his heel and began heading down the narrow walkway towards his truck parked across the street. Holding her breath, Ava peeped her head around the corner of the house to make sure none was around. The coast was clear. No one was outside to witness what just happened. Quickly, she turned back to the door, rushed inside and slammed the door shut, closing herself away from the world before she could be spotted.

 

 

 

 

Chapter 12.

Chapter 12.

 

What am I doing??? What am I doing???  What has gotten over me??? Where am I supposed to go from here? What am I supposed to do??? So many questions. No answers. Ava stood in front of the large black door, her heart racing a million miles per minute as she contemplated her next move. She stood still as a rock, her body could not make any sudden movements. Slowly, Ava turned her head, glancing at her reflection which bounced off a full length sized mirror positioned next to the door. She stared, examining herself from head to toe. Immediately, she began feeling as if she were staring at a stranger. As if she recognized the woman on the other side of the mirror but did not know who she was at all. Tonight, Ava’s hair had been curled in long, beautiful spiral curls that dramatically spilled down her back. The dress she wore covered only a small portion of her shoulders, flowing down into an elegant V-neck exposing her luscious cleavage. Its tight fit gave the outfit a dressy, yet relaxed and grateful look, making her feel extremely elegant and sexy at the same time. Indeed, she was beautiful. But why do I feel so ugly on the inside??? Why do I feel as if something is missing in my life???

Ava sighed, hesitating before she knocked on the door. It was either now or never. She had paid a $30.00 taxi tab to get here and there was no way she would allow that money to go to waste. She held her breath, balled up her fist, and lightly knocked on the door three times.

Knock Knock Knock

Immediately she began feeling as if she were about to have an anxiety attack. Ava stepped back from the door and patiently crossed her arms in front of her, waiting for an answer. Nervously, she switched her weight from one foot to another. She was a nervous wreck, a part of her wanting to turn and run in the opposite direction. What am I doing??? What am I doing???  Why am I here??? Why??? Why??? Why???

Suddenly, the door swung open. Ava jumped in her skin, a ray of light spilling out of the door once it was open. Immediately, her eyes landed on the person standing on the opposite side of the door.

“Hazel!” the voice called out to her in a surprised tone.

In return, she smiled a wide smile. Ava held her hands out, dramatically announcing her arrival. “Hello, Blake…. I’m hereeeeee.” She spoke while grinning.

 “Hazel!” he called her name again obviously in complete shock to see her. “I’m surprised. I wasn’t expecting you like this…What are you doing here???!!!” he asked in a confused tone.

Ava shrugged her shoulders. She nonchalantly played with a lock of her hair, pretending she was not having a silent panic attack. “Wasn’t I invited???” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

In an instant, Blake opened the door even wider. Immediately, Ava’s vision fell down to his outfit which was more casual than what she was used to seeing him in. He wore a white tank top, a pair of striped pajama set pants and men’s bedroom slippers with a cooking towel thrown over his shoulder. Upon him opening the door, Ava could smell the fresh aroma of herbs and spices floating from behind him. She didn’t know what he was cooking, but it smelled damn good.

“Of course you were invited.” He reassured her. “I thought I would be picking you up.”

She laughed. His reaction was the exact reaction she hoped for. “I thought I would return the favor and do a surprise visit.” She narrowed her eyes at him.

“Oh, right.” Blake nodded his head. “I guess that’s fair. Please, come in…” he stepped to the side, allowing her to walk in.  

Ava nodded her head, held her breath and proceeded inside the condo. Once in the door, he shut it behind her, closing them both inside, together alone. She wasted no time looking around, quickly observing that the place had been completed updated and redecorated since the last time she had been here. The condo was equipped with a modern kitchen which was newly renovated and replaced with up to date appliances. The living room was spacious, large and cozy with a large wraparound sofa positioned in the center of the room. Ava nodded her head as she walked deeper into the dining room. She was impressed. The color scheme around the house consisted of blue drapes and lime green wallpaper covering the living room walls. Surprisingly, the two opposite colors meshed very well. She turned and faced an observant Blake who stood watching her as she looked around. Ava flashed a grin at him. “What???” she asked, wandering why he was staring.

He chuckled in-between shaking his head. “I’m surprised, that’s all.” Casually, Blake fell into step across the room and walked back to the kitchen. He peeped his

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