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raised an eyebrow at him. He held up his hands and slowly backed away from me. "Never mind. Instead I think I'll get you a drink and myself one..." He said as he walked backwords out of the room.

The talking continued as if nothing had just happened and no one had intrupted there fun and soon I became apart of the group, getting caught up in the gossip.

"Did you hear that Billy cheated on Merissa with Jamie?! Can you believe that! And then, he was stupid enought to go to her house and try to talk to her even though her daddy knew what had happened and he threatend to shoot Billy with his old shot gun! I mean, it was bad and he is so stupid to do that but shoot him? thats so extrem!" Lain exclaimed!

"If I had a little girl and something like that happened to her, I would problably say it and maybe point the gun at him but I would never, ever be able to actually shoot him! Thats like... savage, you know?" Jacob asked no one in particular. A few people laughed but I could tell that he was a little serous and I didn't really think it was all that funny.

Kyle brought me another rum and coke and just like the last one, I gulped it down fast. I didn't even realize a few people were looking at me until I glaced around after putting my glass down on the little square table in front of me.

"What? What are all you staring at me for?"

"You alright, Baby-Girl?" Tay asked in a low, calming voice as if he had done something wrong and was afraid of doing something wrong and I would yell at him or something.

"I'm prefectly fine. Why?"

"You seem a little tense today and you just downed that rum like you havn't had a drink in five days."

"Well, I don't know what you all are staring at. I feel fine and theres nothing bothering me. I had a good day and it's still going good. And later I'm going over to Kyle's and staying the night and watching movies and just hanging out."

Tay's face seemed to harden at the last part of my little speech. "You're staying the night with him? I thought you were just going to hang out for an hour or so! I didn't know that you were thinking about sleeping over there! I don't know if I'm okay with this..."

"What are you saying? Nothing is wrong with me staying the night at his house. At least I don't think so and I don't think you should over react over nothing."

"Over react? Really? You seem to have a problem with staying at my house but when it's Kyles then it's all fine and dandy, no problem!"

"Thats because he's not thinking about doing it with me and trying to get into my pants the whole time! He's my best friend and nothing more! I love him but in a friend way! Everyone seems to know that but you! Why are you just now starting to freak out about this?"

"Because I just found out that my girl friend is staying the night at another guys house for who knows how long and I can't come over and do anything about it because it's supost to be a best friend weekend! Or at least thats what I was told! Who knows it could be more and I don't know about it. You know what... do whatever you want... I don't care. But that doesn't mean that I have to like it."

"No you don't have to like it but I would perfer if you did and not blow this out of porpotion! It's nothing but watching movies and talking and then sleeping... IN DIFFERENT BEDS!" With that I got up and walked out of the room and up to the second story of the house where I sat down and a couch and stared at nothing.

I don't know when but what seemed like forever, a hand flashed out and handed me a glass full of my favorite drink. Rum and coke! I looked up and smiled as I stared up at Kyle. He smiled to but it didn't seem to make it to his eyes. They looked sad and kind of hurt but I couldn't figure out what would make him feel like that.

"How are you, Doll?" He asked and sat down next to me on the couch, but the way he sat so far away from me made me think that he was a little upset with me.

"I could ask you the same thing, Kyle. What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing that you need to worry about, sweetheart. Now answer my question, How are you?"

"Alright, I guess. It just kinda sucks becuase it seems like he doesn't trust me when he acts like that. It hurts but it's not like I did anything for him to think that I would ever do something to him. I don't know if I love him, but I do know that I care about him a lot. And to see him like that to me... it just sucks." I looked up and I could see concern in his big green eyes. "And you seem to be upset with me and thats not helping things either. And you won't tell me anything thats wrong and that I don't need to worry but the way you act tells me that I do need to worry, a lot! I don't like you hiding things from me one bit."

"If I remember right, your hiding somethings yourself." he whispered, as if he was hurting on the inside but was scrared to show it for some reason.

"And I told you that I need to figure somethings out, then I'll come and talk about it. Just not right now."

"I understand that, doll... I just... you mean a lot to me and to see you all confused and troubled... and then that you don't wona come and talk to me... Its just like you said. It sucks." he looked up at me through his long dirty blonde hair that seemed to have fallen into his eyes as he looked down at him hands as he explained. "I just want to help you. Please, just talk to me."

"How about we hang out a little while longer and talk about it at your house. With less ears in hearing range?" I asked as I looked over at the group of guys and girls that seemed to have more then one person listening in.

Kyle smirked as he followed where my eyes were leading to. "Alright, but go easy on the drinking please."

"Yes, Mom!" i snickered as we got up and walked down the stairs to were some of our friends were dancing and some making out and some just getting to drunk.

I looked around, trying to find Taylor but when I saw him I suddenly wished I hadn't. Because there he was... leaning into Laine as they made out up against the wall right by were I had just walked down the stairs. I stopped dead and it seemed as though every eye in the room suddenly turned to me and stared in utter shock as they saw what I did.

The music stopped and no one was dancing anymore, no one was making out or drinking but Taylor and Lain didn't seem to notice that they were getting stared at by everyone in the room while they kept on kissing.

My heart dropped down to my toes and seemed to wish it out go down even further. You could have heard a pen drop, which was a hard thing to do during a party like this but somehow they managed to do that just fine. The two stopped kissing and just stared at each other, lost in there own world... not even knowing that they just crushed mine.

They finally looked around and saw that everyone was staring at them in complete utter shock or anger. I couldn't believe it.. It was just to shocking to even think of.

Taylor then found me in the group of staring people and if looked like he just couldn't find the words to say anything.

I began backing up slowly, shacking my head and staring in his eyes, the eyes that I though I could some day find myself to love. Not anymore. Now... now those eyes, they were the eyes that I never wanted to see for a long time. Maybe even forever.

I could feel myself backing into people but I didn't even stop to say sorry or look at who it was. Laine was trying to say something to me but all she managed to get out was, "Sydney... I didn't... I mean, It's... I..." But she hated to lie and I knew she couldn't say, 'I didn't mean too' or 'It's not what you think'because it was and she knew better then to say I'm sorry. It only makes things worse.

I passed by the bar and I glanced to the side to see the guys and girls standing there all watching me slowly leave. I reached over and grabed the bottle of rum, pretty much full. With that I turned and walked out.


**Later**


I walked trough the park, the bottle of rum in my hands almost gone, I'd walked for maybe two hours not even looking at where I was going. I hated it. everything. Because of some dipshit I was now walking through a park singing anything that popped into my head, with my shoes in one hand and a bottle of rum in the other.

I had fallen over once or twice so now my knees were a little scrapped up, my skirt had some dirt on it and my shirt, well I don't really know what it looked like right now, it was to dark to really tell.

I sat on a swing set and swung back in forth but stopped soon because the motion was starting to make me sick.

I knew that I didn't want to see him again, or even Laine for that matter. I just wanted to leave, to move schools or houses or states, anything would make me feel so much better. I just felt like I had to get out of here, to go anywhere in the world.

I walked to Kyles house and the light in his room was off so I went over to where his bathroom was and found that his window was still open. I opened it some more and crawled in. When I got in, I couldn't move much more so I laid down in the tub and fell asleep, knowing that by Monday morning, I would be gone.


The next morning, when I woke up, the first thing that I did was run to the bathroom and puke my guts out! When I finally thought thatI was done with that, I got up and crawled back to the bed where Kyle was now awake and staring sadly at me.

Everything from last night was still freash in my head. It seemed that it wouldn't go away. It was like everytime that I tried to think about something else, it would become bigger so that I would have to think about it. I couldn't just ignor it.

I lay down in bed and pulled the plancets up to my chine and closed my eyes, falling back asleep, trying to ignor
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