She is the one by Asheslove (that summer book .TXT) 📗

Oh God, I almost died. When my breathing came back to normal I slowly came out of the bathub. 

The water was spread all around the bathtub on the floor so I carefully walked towards the drawers to get something to help my freezing body but before I reached there my eyes fall on the big mirror on the wall and widened in shock when I looked at my reflection. This is my first time looking at myself in mirror in these days. I had dark bruises on my face and marks of fingers on neck, eyes were stuck into their socket with big dark circles, cheek bones stinking out, skin pale, lips which were used to be pink earlier now turned dry, parched in shade of blue, cracked with blood clots, hairs were mess and wet cloths were sticked to my body. 

I touched my hand to my face 

'This is not me, this is not how I used to look' my body was wet and burning with fever but it was burning more with my fuming rage on looking what he had done to me, I was only seeing red around me. Without taking my eyes off my reflection I took something from near and threw it on the mirror with all my force. The huge mirror shattered in pieces and I gritted my teeths angrily. 

I am not letting this crazy bastard win, not in any case and I turned to walk again but my eyes fall on the shattered pieces of mirror. I pulled out a sharp dragger from them and for once a thought came to my mind.

Everything will end if I die.

This pain, this fear, this suffering, these nightmares, my past, my regrets, which a part of me is still carrying, their load and now him and his torture, I will get rid of everything in once and most importantly the guilt which was eating me from six years. The urge which I buried inside me four and half years ago returned. I bring that dragger closer to my hand and touched its sharp tip on my skin. 

'Die' 

a voice said from inside. This voice was familiar, it was the same voice which I used to hear everytime after that incident when I closed my eyes.

'Die Elena and you will get rid of everything, of his death, of your pain, of your guilt, your blame. You don't have to fight with anyone, you will not have to suffer anymore". 

I closed my eyes and the faces of my laughing mom, my brother crying complaining to mom for his favorite toy car because I hide it revolve in front of my eyes. You are not a coward Elena, you are not fainthearted, you are strong so fight and win over your fear, my dad voice echoed.

No, no, no, what I am thinking, I can't die. I had fight the worst and came this far. These nine days with him and this starvation of seven days can't break me, where the hell is this coming from, what I am thinking, I am not this pathetic. 

I can't let my past fear over took me. You left it behind El, so don't let it drag you again in that, don't let it overpower you. 

But I can't stay locked in here, I can't loose without fighting I thought inside my head. But again, I don't want to suffer anymore, I am tired with his torture, this hunger is devastating and breaking me. It too much for me to take, I am never treated this way before. I don't know what to do, how to fight with him, how to pull myself out of this mess and tears started flowing furiously from my eyes. 

I am weak, I am not strong, I can't fight him, he is powerful and is more stronger than me. I looked back at the dragger in my hand and my urge increased. He wants to claim me as his, he thinks I belong to him and he can treat me however he wants. I wiped my tears away, I am going out of this place and if not in this way then in other but I am not letting that bastard win.  

My hands were shaking violently 

"Do this El, do it" my mind said

with this I brought that blade closer to my skin and shut my eyes tightly. 

Taking a deep breath I let that blade slide in my skin. A painful scream left my lips followed by groan when the blade goes deep down cutting my flesh.

YOU ARE NOT GOING TO WIN NICOLAS DAVIS. I AM NOT LETTING YOU WIN, I AM NOT GOING TO BEG YOU.

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