Lost to You - - (readera ebook reader TXT) 📗
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There were a rare few in this world who could stop me in my tracks, but it was only Elizabeth who could bring me to my knees. Her white collared blouse was fitted, the buttons starting just at the top of the cleft of her breasts. Her black skirt was flowy and swished just above her knees. She wore nylons and heels, something I’d never witnessed her in before.
My mouth was dry by the time I looked back at her face, and her cheeks had reddened with my obvious perusal.
I cleared my throat, my voice low. “You look amazing, Elizabeth.”
Stunning. Breathtaking.
One of her hands fluttered up to her neck, and she self-consciously toyed with a piece of hair that had fallen from the twist. “Thank you.”
Finally, unease seemed to cause her to tear herself away. She turned her back to me, leaving the door open.
“Come on in. Let me grab my purse and coat.”
The words rushed from her mouth in a tumble, an awkwardness rising in the air, tension that neither of us knew how to deal with. The click of her heels on her hardwood floor punctuated the nerves firing between us.
And I should have known it would be this way, that like Elizabeth had said, whatever this was could no longer be ignored.
The second I stepped through her apartment door, it all crashed over me—the way she had smelled, the way she had tasted, the way she had felt.
My body reacted, and I was picturing her up against the counter, could hear the sounds that had whispered from her mouth.
I squeezed my eyes and attempted to will it away. Maybe Elizabeth was right. Maybe I couldn’t be around her, because I could do nothing to control the desire from belting me now.
When she looked back at me, I knew she felt it, too.
Regret twitched her face as her eyes flitted to the same spot where my mind had just been, but then she turned away and pulled on a long, heavy gray coat.
She grabbed a small purse she clutched in her hand. “Are you ready to go?”
Forcing the reaction down, I smiled, and this time I made it a promise. I would do anything to ensure we were okay. “Yup. Let’s get out of here.”
I swung the door open and stood aside so she could go ahead of me before I followed her out the door. I jiggled her knob to be sure it was locked.
Our footsteps echoed as we carefully made our way down the stairwell. Elizabeth walked slower than normal, traversing the stairs in heels, her breaths short and rasped and filling up the enclosed space.
“Are you nervous?” I asked.
Slowing, she glanced over her shoulder, that same expression on her face. “Yes.”
My feet couldn’t move when she looked at me that way, and I gripped the railing and sucked in a breath when that feeling struck me again.
Elizabeth continued on, and cold air gusted into the stairwell when Elizabeth opened the door.
Ahead of me, she held open the door, fighting a shudder and dipping her head in an attempt to protect herself from the surge of winter blanketing the city that blasted into the stairwell.
Fumbling to a stop, she pressed her hand over her mouth to stifle a gasp.
“Oh my God,” she whispered. She pushed the door wide and rushed out into the night.
What was she doing?
The door swung closed behind her, and I found my footing and ran down the last few steps to follow her out.
I froze just outside the door.
Elizabeth was there, in the middle of the sidewalk, her arms and face raised to the sky as she slowly spun in a circle.
I stuffed my hands in my pockets to block out some of the chill and stood there watching as little flecks of snow flitted down and melted on the soft skin of Elizabeth’s face.
It was one of the most meager shows of snowfall I’d ever seen, but to Elizabeth, it appeared to be the most magical thing she’d ever witnessed.
The smile on her face was enough to light up the whole town.
Enough to light up my life.
She spun around, looked back at me as if I hadn’t been the culprit of our downfall five days earlier.
Flashes of joy sparked in her eyes. “Christian . . . can you believe it? It’s snowing.”
She shook her head in awe and lifted her face back to the lights reflected in the stormy night sky.
Wrapped up in this momentous event, Elizabeth seemed to be more thankful than I had the capacity to make sense of because it was something I’d taken for granted my entire life.
Beauty.
It slammed into me so hard it nearly knocked me from my feet. At the same time, it felt completely natural.
Inevitable.
Simple.
I loved her.
My eyes dropped closed, savoring the truth soaking my body, my nerves thrilling in excitement while my heart beat with a steady content.
I loved her.
I opened my eyes to find her staring over at me, her arms held up just at her sides, as if she’d caught sight of me and had been trapped in that very spot. “What’s wrong?”
A breath escaped through my nose, manifested in the cold air, the space between us too great. “Nothing’s wrong, Elizabeth. Everything is perfect.”
Her nose curled up a little, and her head barely tipped to the side. I thought maybe she didn’t quite believe me and was searching for something.
A question piqued her gentle smile, before she turned her attention back to the fleeting white dotting the sky.
I wondered if she could she see it in me the same way I’d seen it in her. If she knew in that moment she’d unlocked something in me, and I’d never be the same.
She stole one last glance at the fluttering sky. “We’d better grab a cab or we’re going to be late.”
I shook myself off. “Yeah. You ready for this?”
Light laughter tipped from Elizabeth’s mouth, the sound echoing in the stiff winter air. “No, not at all.”
I came in close to her side, smiled down at the girl I loved. “Me neither.”
The hushed winter pressed down from above. Flurries danced as they fell.
Expanding my lungs with a breath of freezing cold air, I struggled to quell the hammer knocking against my ribs, sought the peace found in the beauty of this night sky.
Christian’s fingers brushed down the inside of my arm before he wound them at the crook of my elbow. His fingertips pulsed twice at the sensitive spot, as if tapping out a message, before they settled and found a secure hold burrowed in my skin.
A flit of uncontained nerves rose as goose bumps along my flesh, and I bit at my lip to cover my reaction.
I didn’t know if I could ever feel better than I did right then.
A sense of awe sank down deep into my bones, softening the reservations I had about agreeing to attend this dinner with Christian.
Never before had I seen snow. The spots where it had fallen and melted against my skin still stung and burned, but the memory covered me like an embrace.
But it was Christian’s touch that had my head spinning.
I guessed when I’d agreed to this dinner, I thought we’d fight to get back to the place where we were just friends. I thought we’d shove our feelings down like we’d been doing for so long, and that those feelings would fester and grow until we found ourselves in a situation so much like the one we’d been in last Friday night.
I peeked up at him just as he looked down to catch my wondering gaze.
One side of his mouth lifted, his eyes soft as they traced my face, and he squeezed my arm a little tighter.
Going back didn’t seem to be a part of Christian’s intentions.
Something had changed from the moment Christian had shown up at my apartment door until he held onto me now, as if the beauty falling around us had the power to chase away all our unanswered questions.
He leaned in close to my face, his head tilted to the side. “I’m so glad you’re coming.”
He’d broken me down so easily.
Relief had come like the blaring horn of a freight train when I’d seen him standing outside my class, his beautiful face marred with the same affliction I’d drowned in for the last week.
I’d tried to resist him, to tell him why I had to be true to the decision
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