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randomly asked.
“ What are you talking about?” I scoffed looking over at him.
“ I can tell you like him, and it seems like he likes you, but what’s going? Fill me in Ty.”
“ We kissed yes, but then he said it was a mistake, and that I was just Clay’s little sister, and when I started dressing like a freaking hooker, then he noticed me,” I grumped looking down.
“ I think he regrets what he said, I mean, all these years he has known you, he kind of see’s you as his own sister. He still thinks you’re a kid, and what he did with you, he probably couldn’t process it at the moment. Everything just came to him too fast so he said something stupid,” Gabe said. I sat there and thought about it for a couple minutes. The rest of the ride home was quiet, and we pulled up to the house, we both got out of the car.
“ You’re not going home?” I asked.
“ when do I ever go to my house? I do live here,” He laughed.
“ Yeah, true,” I said rolling my eyes. Gabe went in the house, but I decided to sit outside on the front porch. Maybe Gabe was right about what he thought about Art. I sat there, and put my face in my hands sighing.
“ Ty?” I heard Art’s voice ask. I looked up, not expecting to see him. I haven’t seen Art for about a week.
“ Uh.. Hey Art,” I muttered rubbing the back of my neck.
“ We need to talk,” he said walking over to me.
Ah shit…

Chapter sixteen:
“ What do we need to talk about?” I muttered rubbing the back of my neck. He looked at me like I was dumb.
“ Really Ty, really,” He said standing in the same place. I diverted my eyes away from him biting my lip.
“ Well, I don’t think we should talk here..” I muttered.
“ Why is that?” He asked.
“ Because, Clay still hates you,” I shrugged. I looked up at him, and he wasn’t looking at me. He looked damn sad.
“ Where do you want to go,” he asked. I’ve never gone to his house before. All the years I have known him, never gone to his place. He was looking at me, and I swear to god he read my mind. “ I don’t think you would want to go to my house,” He muttered.
“ Let’s just go there,” I said standing up. He nodded his head, and I got in his car, and we drove to his house. We didn’t say a damn word in the car, and I felt awkward. Made me sad, I felt so damn far away from him, almost like we were two complete strangers. We pulled up in front of his house. I’ve seen it plenty of times, but to think of it, me or any of the guys never really went inside. I don’t think I ever really even met his parents. I looked over at Art who was sitting there, his hands where kind of shaking. He saw me looking at him, and he got out of the car. I opened my door stepping out, and he walked next to me.
“ Art?” I questioned.
“ Don’t be surprised by what you see,” He whispered. I raised an eyebrow, and we walked up his stairs, and he opened the door slowly walking in. The scent of liquor overwhelmed me, and I my eyes kind of burned. He grabbed my hand, and tried to hurry up the stairs, but someone’s voice stopped us.
“ A-Art your… Baby your home,” a lady said. I looked over into the front room, and saw an older woman with a robe wrapped around her, sitting on the couch, with liquor bottles surrounded around her. “ Baby, hi,” she giggled. Sadness washed over me, that’s Art’s mother. She stood up, and started to fall but grabbed onto the wall catching herself. She walked over to me, looking at me. “ Oh.. who… who is this pretty..” She started laugh. “ girl,” she finished. I gave her a weak smile.
“ Hello,” I said quietly. She started laughing like a mad man. I looked at Art, who looked completely ashamed. He had let go of my hand by now, and then I heard glass shatter, and Art froze.
“ Ma, he’s here?” He asked his face looking completely petrified. She nodded her head, and walked back over to the couch falling on top of it.
“ What’s going on Art,” A man said. His voice, it sounded so pure of evil, I turned around and saw a tall man standing in the kitchen doorway, looking between Art and I.
“ nothing Jeremy,” Art said coldly.
“ Boy, you aint gonna be talking to me like that!” he said raising his voice. Art started walking up the stairs ignoring him, and he grabbed my hand so I would follow him. It’s his father. He seemed like such a evil man. We got to Art’s room, and he closed and locked the door. He stood by the door, and I stood next to him. I slowly extended my hand, resting it on his shoulder.
“ Art?” I whispered. He turned around, and wrapped his arms around me, his face falling into the crook of my neck, and he was crying. I felt his tears drip through the clothing on my shirt. I wrapped my arms around him. “ Sh, sh,” I said rubbing his back. We stood there holding one another, I felt my walls coming down, and I just felt so damn bad for him. All the hatred, and even how mad I was at him, it was gone in a split second. He pulled away, and looked down at me, and brought his hand up to my face lightly stroking my cheek.
“ I’m sorry,” he whispered.
“ For what?”
“ For what I have done, said,” He shrugged. He walked over to his bed and sat down looking down at the ground. “ after we kissed… and after what I realized what I said… I felt so bad, and it wasn’t the truth. I don’t even know why I said that shit, Ty I wish I could take it all back, not my actions, but my words…” he stopped, and I walked closer standing in front of him, and he started laughing. I raised an eyebrow. I didn’t understand what was so damn funny. “ This… You might not believe me, you might think this is a complete load of shit, but…” He stopped, and grabbed my hand, and flipped it over, tracing my palm with his index finger. “ but I love you… I knew I always loved you, but I thought it was only in a sister way, but when I kissed you, who did I feel those sparks fly!” he laughed. He went quiet again.
“ Art..” I muttered.
“ Wait, let me finish,” He said. I stayed quiet. “ You might think im only saying this, because of how your appearance changed, but that’s not it. I mean, when you changed your appearance, yes it did help me realize more that you’re not a little girl anymore, your becoming a beautiful woman, you have always been a damn pretty girl… your gorgeous Ty,” He said. I stood there, I didn’t know what the hell to do. “ I’m not asking you to give me a second chance, ha im not even expecting that. I’m just asking you, don’t cut me out of your life, because you and Clay, and the guys, your all part of my life, I can’t lose all of you…” the last part turned into a whisper. I don’t want to just say Art oh, I love you too, have us kiss and something like from one of those lame ass romantic novels and movies, but all I want to do is tell him it’s ok. Tell him I love him, and I need him in my life. I don’t want him in it, I freaking need him. I felt a tear in my eye.
“ You’re not gonna lose any of us,” I finally said. He nodded his head looking up at me, and I gave him a weak smile.
“ Is that a promise?” he asked.
“ Definitely.”
He let out a heavy breath, and I sat next to him on the bed.
“ I really fucked up,” he mumbled.
“ Not too badly,” I said laying back, and he laid down next to me.
“ Yeah, yeah I did. Well, with the bet, that was a jerk ass move, but I really fucked up with you,” He said and I felt him looking at me. I want to say no! I still have those feelings for you! You didn’t fuck up, but hey, im not one of those lovey dovey fucking girls. My mind might be yes, but when it comes down to the point, no.
“ Uh,” that’s all that came out of my mouth. Uh. Is that the best my brain can come up with? Really! Art sat up, and he buried his face in his hands. I sat up looking at him. “ Everyone makes mistakes, it’s what we do, and we all learn from our mistakes,” I said my hand on his shoulder. He didn’t say anything, so I didn’t say anything more either. We sat there for a few minutes, and I cleared my throat. “ I’m going to talk to Clay, I know he misses you, all the guys miss you too, I’ll get things back to normal, don’t you worry,” I said trying to smile. He looked at me giving me a weak and fake smile. I could tell it took everything out of him to put a smile on that damn ass sad face.
“ Yeah…” he muttered. I let out a sigh. “ I think I should get you home,” He said standing up off of the bed. I slowly stood up, and we walked out of his room, and right out of the house. The ride back to the house was … it wasn’t right. I feel even more distant from him now. I hope things get back to normal, but… not so sure it is. We pulled up to the front of the house, and I opened the car door, but peered in before shutting it.
“ You know, everyone makes mistakes, and a lot of us are in denial about making mistakes. We all want to be perfect, mistakes can fuck up our pasts, but don’t let those mistakes fuck up your future,” I said and then closed the door. I walked towards my house, and when I get inside I looked out the window, and saw Art still sitting in his car, just looking out at the road, and then he finally drove off. I felt tears in my eyes, and I bit my lip to attempt to suppress the tears.
“ You love him, why are you gonna bite your tongue and not tell him?” I heard Gabe’s voice from behind me. I kept my back towards him. “ When you finally decide to say something, it’s going to be too late, then you’ll be saying what if for the rest of your life…”
That night, I went to bed, with the words what if in my mind.
What if I was different, then would my mom have left?
What if I was a better person, then would my dad be there for me…
What if I told Art how I really felt, then would we be together…
What if I just do the same thing I’m doing, keeping my mouth shut, then will my world continue
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