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Chapter 14

He is not of us who is not affectionate to the little ones and does not respect the old; and he is not of us, who does not order which is lawful, and prohibits that which is unlawful - prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam ( peace be upon him)

If you haven't prayed your Salah please pray this book can wait but your Salah can't .

Amira Sultan p.o.v

" Khalid calm down " came out from my mouth and every eye fell on me .

" Did you ask me to calm down? " he approached my way , anger lacing in his eyes .

My eyes widened " oh no " I whispered .

His chiseled jaw was now clench and I was frightened but chose not to show it on my face .  He began to walk toward me and deep inside, I feared he would abuse me .

But he stopped just an inch away when He heard Sayra sniffing, hiding her face near my neck .

All of a sudden his eyes softened , I felt like he wanted to take her in his arms but instead he clenched his fist tightly not knowing what to do . Everybody stayed silent waiting for Khalid to move .

" Is she okay ?'' His tone was so soft that I almost thought it was someone else's voice .

For a few seconds , I froze … 

He can talk softly !!!! 

Wow …

" Ahem ! " I cleared my throat " yeah she is fine " 

" Just scared, " I added looking up .

Our eyes met for a few seconds before he strode past me not slightly pushing my shoulder .

Slowly putting Sayra to bed , I turn to Ayesha Aunty . I was feeling bad the way Khalid talked to her .

" I didn't mean that to happen " tears were shimmering in her eyes .

I felt my heart clench " It's okay aunty " I held her hand in mine .

" It's not your fault , mistakes happen around kids " I hugged her to give console .

No matter what Khalid had no right to talk to her like that I get it , she works for him but it doesn't give him the right to disrespect her . Those who work in our home or for us , no matter if they are younger or smaller . Everyone deserves respect that's the sign of good human being and most importantly prophet Muhammad sallallahu alaihi wasallam ( pbuh) said - He is not of us who is not affectionate to the little ones and does not respect the old; and he is not of us, who does not order which is lawful, and prohibits that which is unlawful

I guess…. Khalid again proves himself in my eyes that he is not .

" But - " her voice broke .

" No but - go to your room , I am here for her " I smile .

" Amira you are a very good girl , May Allah bless you with all happiness " she kissed my forehead .

Suddenly my vision got blurry , I couldn't help but hug her tightly .

Khalid Mirza p.o.v

I space my room from one corner to another .

Feeling angry and disgusted at myself …

Guilt crept inside my heart remembering how I talked to Ayesha khaala. I don't know what happened to me , I have never raised my voice to any elder before but today when I saw Sayra falling from stairs , I felt my soul leave my body , I was terrified …. All those memories flash in front of my eyes like some movie . As hard as I tried to bury those memories inside my chest , It came back to haunt me again .

I couldn't protect her and if I couldn't protect her children as well then how am I ever going to live ….. 

I ruined her life….. 

I am ruined..

I am dome.

There is no forgiveness for me ...

I am worse than a human being…. 

My thoughts erupted when I heard a knock .

Feeling irritated , I open the door to see Ayesha khaala standing with tears in their eyes .

" Khalid , I am so sorry-" before she could apologize , I grabbed her hand and took her inside my room .

I made her sit on the edge of the bed and kneel down near her leg feeling ashamed .

" I am sorry Khala …. " I clutched her leg .

" I am so sorry " 

" Please forgive me " I couldn't help but my voice cracked . I have known her since my whole life . She used to live with our neighbours . Me and Sayra used to go to her house all the time .

Few years before I got to know that her children abandoned her , I offered her to stay with me like Rabiya Aunty but she refused because of her self respect then I offered her to work for me as a children 's nanny . She agreed but what I did today was unacceptable .

" You know I respect you a lot. I wouldn't have shouted at you like that. I just got so scared khala '' big tears escaped my eyes while I felt my chest tearing up in unbearable pain .

" Khalid I know son " she cares for my hair . 

" I know you got scared and I am not hurt that you shouted at me , I failed you I am sorry " I heard her voice crack .

I quickly looked up, shaking my head " No Khala " . I sat beside her wiping her tears . " You didn't fail me " I felt anger bubbling inside my head .

" I failed everyone , Sayra , Ammi , Abbu " I clench my fist remembering how I ruined my own happy family .

" Khalid stop bla-" before she could defend me again .

I turn  " don't Khala , don't try to defend me , you know it's my fault " 

She stayed silent this time .

" Humans make mistakes, " Khala whispered softly .

I laugh without humour " that's the thing khala , I didn't make mistakes " 

" I have done sin , a sin cannot be forgiven " I said bitterly .

__________________________________

Short author note …

Assalamualaikum everyone just wanted tell you that as a human being when we often lose hope in the mercy of Allah s.w.t , we often think that we are dome. , Alone , ruined and cannot get forgiveness from God , the almighty and drown in our sorrow and misery thinking there is no hope , there is no light  but that's the trick of devil ….we shouldn't be despair in the mercy of Allah.

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