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CHAPTER 4


I met Lily at her house. I didn’t want to meet in a public setting where people would recognize me. Mrs. Davis answered the door.
“Cara! Long time no see!” she said as she let me in. Lily was going to College so during breaks she stayed home. Like this weekend, but she was going back tomorrow. So today was the only day we had. I walked up to her room. It felt like I was sixteen again. I plopped down on her queen size bed and rolled over on my stomach. She stared at me amused.
“SO,” she said.
“So…”
“Chris Evans. Spill,” she said sitting up and crossing her arms. Her dark brown hair was tied into a loose casual bun. She used to straighten her hair all the time, but now, it seemed she let her hair be curly. Her bangs were curled and framed her olive toned face.
“There’s not much to spill,” I said slowly. Lily laughed.
“What do you mean? It’s Chris Evans!” then she leaned closer to me with a smile on her face, “Is he a good kisser?” I sighed loudly.
“What?” she asked with a confused expression on her face.
“I didn’t…actually…kiss…him…” I said playing with the ends of my hair.
“What?” she asked sounding shocked.
“He tried to kiss me…and then… Well, I freaked out,” I said groaning.
“You…what? Why??”
“It’s happened every single time… Every time a guy would try to kiss me, I would panic and then a couple days later we’ll break up because of it. Which is why it seems like I have really short relationships and go through guys like that,” I said snapping my fingers. I sighed and put my face into her pillows.
“But…why?”
“I don’t know,” I mumbled into the pillow.
“What?”
“I don’t know!” I said sighing again and looking at her. But she always knew when I was lying. She gave me a look.
“Okay… Every time they would try to kiss me… Jeffery’s face pops up in my brain. And I freak out because it feels like I’m cheating on him. And I can’t very well tell my BOYFRIEND that I can’t kiss him because I’m in love with some other guy!”
“Jeffery? Still? After all these years?” asked Lily.
“Always…” I whispered. Then we looked at each other and laughed.
“I never thought I’d hear the day when Cara Matthews quotes Harry Potter!” laughed Lily. I playfully shoved her.
“Whatever. I gave the books a chance. It was okay…” Lily gasped.
“You. READ. Them?? YOU??”
“Yes. ME!” I giggled.
“I thought you vowed NEVER to read them!”
“I did…”
“What changed your mind?”
“Meeting Daniel Radcliff…” Lily sighed dreamily and leaned back into her bed.
“Lucky lucky LUCKY duck!” she exclaimed. Then she stole my phone.
“You have MADONNA’S cell phone number??” she asked sitting up straight.
“I met her at a party once… She was drunk and wanted my number… So I gave it to her. And then she put her number into my cell phone…” Then her jaw dropped as she stared at my phone’s screen.
“What?” I asked trying to look over her shoulder. She scrolled up and down and then she looked at me.
“You have ALL of One Direction’s numbers on your cell phone???” she asked. I smiled sheepishly and then nodded slowly.
“AH! You’re like a fangirl dream come true!! Do you still have that…what did you call it again? The One Direction Corner on your bedroom wall?” asked Lily.
“Yeah…” Lily collapsed into giggles.
“Can we call them??” she asked. I slowly took my phone away.
“No…that looks…really unprofessional of me…” I said. Lily considered my words and then nodded. But she looked crestfallen.
“So, how was seeing Jeffery today?” she asked. I shrugged slowly as she flipped through a magazine.
“OOO! Who wore it better? You or Angelina Jolie? You wore the same dress as Angelina Jolie? You’re crazy,” said Lily.
“What?” I asked. Lily showed me the magazine. It was one of those ‘who wore it better’ poles. Apparently I did. Jesus. I was going to have to apologize to Angelina if I didn’t want her hating me for the rest of my life.
“You know, it’s weird seeing my best friend in magazines. I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it…” murmured Lily. Neither will I…


After I left Lily’s house I drove aimlessly around Leesburg. There never was much to do around here. I just drove around and around and eventually, I ended up at Church. I looked at the building, confused.

CHAPTER 5


CHAPTER 5


I sat outside the building in my car, my mouth gaping open. Why the hell was I here? I was already here this morning. The sun was starting to set. I got out of the car and wrapped my pea coat around me tighter when the wind started to pick up. I walked over to the closed church and stared into the dark building. I stared at me reflection that the glass showed me. Straight chocolate red hair spilling over my shoulders. Freckles dotted across my face. Amber eyes lined by dark eyeliner staring back at me. Long eyelashes fluttering against my pale face. Ripped dark skinny jeans. A dark gray graphic tee with a girl smiling at a guy that was behind her. But it was artistically done. A black pea coat was thrown on top of that. I ran a hand through my hair.

What was I doing here?



I turned around and that’s when I saw Jeffery staring at me curiously from his car. His keys were in his hands. It looked as if he had frozen. I felt my face flush with embarrassment. I did a slight wave and tried to make my legs move towards my car. But I was moving so slowly. I clenched my jaw. Why won’t my legs RUN towards my car for God’s sake??

“Cara? What are you doing here?” asked Jeffery having caught up to me. I stared into his blue eyes as the sun started to set rapidly. The few streetlights flickered on. I smiled nervously.
“Haven’t you asked me that earlier today?” I asked. I saw his cheeks turn a little pink.
“I guess I did… But, why are you here now? The Church is closed…”
“Right. Well, I can see that now…” I murmured.
“Did you need anything?” he asked. Just you…

I shook my head quickly as I thought that.
“Yes… I need… No. I just…I have to go,” I said before I could finish the half sentence I carelessly uttered.
“Oh…kay…”
“I’m sorry. I don’t know why I’m here. I didn’t purposefully drive here,” I laughed nervously again, “Well, I’m just going to go. It was nice seeing you again Jeffery!” I waved at him even though he was standing right there. I ran my hand through my hair again self-consciously and practically ran to my car. He was still staring at me as I slipped into the car and put my head onto my steering wheel and call myself stupid like ten thousand times.

What the hell was wrong with me?

He must think I'm the most nuttiest celebrity that he has EVER met!! GOD! WHY DO YOU HATE ME SO??


CHAPTER 6


CHAPTER 6


He put his lips in my hair as he kissed the top of my head, warmly. I looked up at him with watery eyes.
“It’s alright,” he said. And I believed him. His blue eyes stared deep into my brown ones. I had the urge to reach up on my tiptoes and press my lips against his soft pink ones. But I repressed that urge. I couldn’t. Not yet. Not ever. I closed my eyes as he held me in his strong arms. I melted, mentally, in his embrace. And when I opened my amber brown eyes, he was gone…
It was just a dream.

I stared up at the ceiling of my old bedroom, tears running down the side of my face. I glanced at the clock. 3:00 am. I sighed and laid back down in my bed, burying my face into my soft pillow.

Why?

Why?

WHY ME?

I wiped the tears from my face as I got up to go check my phone. I scrolled through my texts. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. Twitter. More Twitter. Then, I stopped and stared at my phone.
Jeffery.
Why the frikin HELL is he texting me??? As if my mind wasn’t going crazy enough! I mean I just had a romantic like DREAM about him!!! And I was crying because it was a DREAM!! I didn’t need this on TOP of work! STOP TEXTING ME JEFFERY!!

Then I threw my phone onto the floor. Aaaand it broke. Sort of.

The battery came out and so did the back. My phone is sort of like a brick. I stared at my phone in shock.

I’m going crazy. I’m going crazy! I’M GOING CRAZY!!

I shook my head and walked to the bathroom. The light blinded me for a few seconds, and even then I had to squint. I stared at myself in the mirror before splashing my face with water. I shivered because it was cold water.
OKAY. I’m up now.
I wandered around my old room just pacing back and forth.
Why did I have that dream?
Obviously because I like him. Okay. That’s not too bad. Plus, it isn’t that weird anymore. He’s what? 23 almost 24?
That’s not too bad. Since I’m 18 and everything…
Why did I freak out?
OH I DON’T KNOW PROBABLY BECAUSE I WOKE UP CRYING??
Okay…
Why did I throw my phone?
……… (Awkward silence)……..
Only explanation: I’m insane.

I lay back down on my bed, exhausted. By this time it was 4 in the morning. I wouldn’t even bother fixing my phone. I was tired. This time, I

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