Benign Flame: Saga of Love - BS Murthy (best way to read an ebook .TXT) 📗

days later, said Raja Rao to Sandhya,

“Someone sounded me out about an assignment in the U.S., and I told him that I will get back after talking to you.”

“Is that good for your career?” she said with mixed feelings.

“You know I had been there before. Now I’ve to look at that more as an opportunity for your exposure,” he said casually.

“You know the direction of my destiny,” she said coyly.

“Don’t I know,” he said as he felt relieved himself.

“What’s this Western lifestyle all about?” she asked.

“In the West, they’ve a deep-rooted work culture, while the philosophy of life is better evolved here. For all their application of mind over things material, in matters of emotion, resilience seems to be conspicuous by its absence in their lives. While psychic care is the order of the day for every disorder of life, it may not take more than getting the boot at the office for one to start fearing about losing his woman as well!” he said as if he were summarizing the essence of his observations.

“Sadly for us,” he resumed with a tinge of distress, “our ineptitude at work tells upon our standard of living as well as the quality of life that is appalling in comparison. But our culture enables us to take the vagaries of life in our strides; why, a novice of a friend could double up for a psychiatrist to set things right for a jilted lover. So also, even a man in the thick of adversity often comes unscathed to look forward with fortitude.”

“The fundamental features of the two cultures, as I see them are - while the Western thought probes the nature of man, Indian philosophy delves deep into his soul,” he said in conclusion. “It’s the tragedy of our society that an evolved culture coexists with the worst of prejudices, hindering the outlook of our people. If only we could temper our social rigidity with the western individualism, it would do us a world of good, but sadly, in the West too, over time, the individualism insensibly degenerated into rank selfishness.”

As shortly thereafter, to the delight of all, as Sandhya found herself in the family way, to her amusement, Raja Rao got into the habit of fussing about her diet and all. When they were in the seventh heaven of marital bliss, as he was required to go to Hyderabad, disturbing his equanimity, his dormant desire for Roopa came to the fore.

“Take me along,” said Sandhya excitedly as he broke the news.

“You know that it’s still the initial stages?” he said, feeling her tummy.

“I know, but still,” she couldn’t hide her disappointment.

“On your way for delivery, you can be with her till she drives you away,” he said to cheer her up.

“Won’t she play midwife to me if needed,” she said, and added mischievously. ‘Don’t fail to meet her, but before you start looking at her, see her with my eyes.”

“Send me blindfolded then,” he said, amused.

“Never mind, she would bare your eyes to see my reflections in them,’ she said, and thought, ‘and hers as well.’

“Shall I bring her to you as the captive of my eyes,” he said, striking a chivalrous pose.

“How I wish you could do that,” she said closing her eyes.

“What a friendship!” he said taking her into his arms.

“It’s more of love,” said Sandhya dreamily.

“The true test of love lies in its ability to endure the longing,” he said, and wondered about the longevity of Roopa’s infatuation for him.

Sinking into Raja Rao’s embrace, Sandhya could sense the feeling behind his comment, and hoped that Roopa’s love for him would endure in spite of everything.

 

Chapter 22

Villainy of Life

 

Alighting from the Dakshin Express that morning, Raja Rao headed towards the Ritz Hotel in Hyderabad. Though the anxiety he felt all through the journey for Roopa wore him out, on his way to the hotel, he felt rejuvenated with the thought that he was breathing the very air scented by her breath.

‘If only I could stay with her,’ he thought dreamily in the auto he hired. ‘How surprised she would be if only I could knock at her door right away? And seeing my luggage, how excited she would be at the prospect of hosting me for woman loves nothing more than tending the man she loves. Besides, won’t she know that my staying there would afford opportunities for our flirtation, and even more, who knows? But then without Sandhya around, it would be highly embarrassing for me with Sathyam. Also, how could I entertain my clients in their house?’

However, having checked into the hotel, he was engrossed in adjusting his plan to meet the client’s last minute changes, but, once in the café for breakfast, he started picturing his prospective encounter with Roopa later, ‘What would be her emotions in our interactions? It has been five months since we’ve last met but still it feels as though I’ve seen her only the other day! Hasn’t her persona got etched in my memory to the last nuance? How excited she would be upon learning that I’m planning to be on my own here, to be near her. Why can’t I suggest that she might assist me as my secretary? Looks like, it’s now or never for our affair. If I fail to declare my love now, it might be too late later, if it’s not already so. Well, let me see what fate has in store for us, but for now, I’ve to meet her before Sathyam returns home from his office.’

While he went on visualizing the possibilities of their future liaison, as if to bring him back into the present reality, the bearer brought the bill for his signature.

By calling it a day early at Subba Reddy’s ‘Sai Constructions’, Raja Rao reached Roopa’s place in high spirits, by three-thirty, but as he began ascending the steps to her penthouse, as though his hopes got into a descending mode, he was beset with doubts, ‘How can I assume that she still loves me?’  

Though greeted by the door lock that only lent substance to his surmise, nevertheless, he decided to knock at the landlady’s door to ascertain the situation.

‘What if she’s already into some affair?’ he wondered as he went down the steps to enquire about her. ‘Has she gone for a rendezvous with her lover?’

However, Lalitha, the landlady, after ascertaining his credentials, told him,

“Only last night Sathyam underwent appendectomy. It was all so sudden, and there was no time for her even to inform his parents. It was only this morning that my old man sent them a telegram. Poor Roopa is managing it all, on her own; but she’s really amazing! You can meet them in the Gaganmahal Nursing Home, it’s just nearby.”

“How sad,” he said, striving not to show his relief on Roopa’s account, and thought on his way to the nursing home, ‘the poor fellow, but how untimely it is.’

When he pushed aside the curtain of that cabin, he saw Roopa administering some medicines to Sathyam, and as his eyes met Sathyam’s, she turned around to find him to her perplexing delight.

“How do you feel now?” Raja Rao asked Sathyam.

“I’m much better but what a surprise,” said Sathyam feebly.

“When have you come?” Roopa asked Raja Rao at length.

“Only in the morning,” he replied, looking at her intently to probe his standing in her affection.

“Where’re you put up?” she asked him.

“At the Ritz Hotel,” he said, echoing her disappointment.  

“You should’ve stayed with us,” she said not hiding her vexation.

“I would’ve but I came on some official work,” he said sounding apologetic.

“So what, we wouldn’t have disturbed your work,” she persisted.

“I agree; I shall take note of it for the future,” he said.

“You better do that,” she said without taking her eyes off him. “What about Sandhya?”

“She’s fine, but misses you as ever,” he said, and added as he handed her an envelope, “she doesn’t trust my communication skills.”

“She’s right,” she commented meaningfully as she opened the envelope, and having savoured the letter, informed Sathyam, “she sent her love and regards for you.”

“It’s very nice of her, don’t forget to convey my affection for her,” said Sathyam to Raja Rao.

“No way, you would be the second person she enquires about,” said Raja Rao and turning to Roopa added smilingly, “Need I tell who the first one is.”

“Tell her that I’m unhappy with her for allowing you check into a hotel,” she said.   

“Won’t that add to my woes?” smiled Raja Rao forcing a smile on her lips.

Thereby, sitting by the bedside, Raja Rao entered into a conversation with Sathyam befitting the occasion.

“How long are you here?” she asked Raja Rao interrupting them at length.

“I’ll be leaving the day after tomorrow morning by the A P Express,” he said, and having noticed a disappointed look on her face, he added, “If you find time to scribble something, I’ll pick it up tomorrow evening.”

After spending some uneasy time with them, in time, he departed in disillusionment.

‘What an inopportune time to meet her when the opportunity itself came after such a long time,’ he felt as he came out of the room. Feeling let down by the dame luck thus, it didn’t even occur to him to turn back to see if Roopa came after him.

‘Oh, doesn’t his mere presence vibrate my soul,’ thought Roopa as if in a trance. ‘Surely, he’s my man, if there’s ever one. But where have all his searching glances gone? Why has he failed to bestow at least one amorous gaze to add to my memory bank?  Instead, he was absorbed with Sathyam nearly neglecting me, didn’t he? Well, what else could he have done in Sathyam’s presence than keep a poker face for me? Yet, how handsome did he seem even in his morose look. But what a queer rendezvous has fate chosen for me with my beloved!’

Soon, as she began realising her failure in finding an avenue to lead him to her love, she couldn’t help but think dejectedly, ‘Why didn’t I take him out on some pretext; at least I should’ve accompanied him till the gate; surely that wouldn’t have seemed odd to Sathyam or even compromised me with the hospital staff. But then, wasn’t it all so sudden and unexpected, and lo, before I could gather my wits, he was gone!’

‘But when he comes tomorrow, I shouldn’t slip up at any cost,’ she resolved. ‘Hasn’t he suggested that I could scribble something, for him to pick up? Given the constraints for a dialogue of love, isn’t it his innovation to let me bare my heart in writing. Won’t I make it a memorable one for him, nay for us? Surely, he would exchange his own note of ardour to be on par after all.’

‘But can I ever express my love to him in writing as I experience it?’ she thought as she began figuring out how to pen her maiden love letter. ‘Can a ream of paper carry the craving of my soul to him? Besides, won’t borrowed phrases mar love letters, robbing them off originality? How else can a woman let her man see her soul than in lovemaking? Why not I simply write, Raja, just take me into your arms to know how you’re loved. Yes, those dozen words will convey more than a million can carry.’

At that, while she felt excited, back in the Ritz, he remained pensive.

‘What rotten luck! I couldn’t even take a proper look at her. But how could I have, given the circumstances. Oh, but even in her glimpses, she looks as ravishing as ever, doesn’t she? If anything, in her pensive mood, she’s more bewitching, and ardent than ever before. Yet can I ever make her mine?’ thought Raja Rao, all again.

As if to reassure himself, of her possible possession, he recalled her longing look and furtive glances, ‘It looks like she still loves me. Isn’t that clear from her amorous gaze? Why, it’s her craving for me that sustains my longing for her,