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15- Need Time

After Zain left, Hoorain kept staring at his traces with a smile on her lips, resting her elbow on the table, cheek resting on her palm, watching his leave and noticing her daze, Emraz cleared his throat.

“He is gone.” He informed me, glancing at her. 

“Huh? So?” Blinking, Emraz didn't let her mesmerization last long and broke it by his words.

“Stop staring.” He said, taking a sip of his tea. “Stare at what?” She asked, acting oblivious but chuckling at her demeanor, he shook his head and patted her head. 

“Bless you.” He hummed and left.

The next day, Hoorain was at her institute and constantly glard at Haziqa who was staring at her innocently, tilting her head in confusion. “What? Why are you staring like this?” Haziqa asked. 

“Why the hell didn't you tell me?” She hissed, infuriated at her for what happened, not wanting to put her on bad terms with Zain. 

“Because if I did. Then you wouldn’t be able to gain this beautiful moment.” She smiled, trying to reassure her.

“But, but- He didn’t want it.” She reasoned, lowering her head, biting her lips but she sighed, emanating compassion for her anxiousness. 

“He doesn’t want anything with you. Are you going to break this bond and everything else too?” She asked sternly. Closing her arms at her chest.

Her lips parted to reply but no words came out, aware of her ego-centric zeal towards him. “And hear my words, Hoorain.” She sighed, holding her shoulders, hoping she will understand once, 

“Afflictions won’t end if you won’t try. They will stay in your heart and damage it beyond repair. Please know, Hoorain. Running is not your solution. This won’t end unless you try.” She said softly, hoping her fragile mind could comprehend this tiny fact.

But, she cut the part ‘Please know, love cannot be forced’ knowing it’s not the right time. 

“I know. I know it all and I am trying but how am I supposed to convince my heart? To whom beats this heart is going to listen when it is not in my control?” She whispered, wrapping her arms around herself, moving back, closing her eyes for a moment to let the darkness sink in.

“I know what I am doing is wrong, I know our bond is wrong but my heart is selfish about him. Why can’t you understand? I cannot control my emotions and the day, I will.” Pausing, she inhaled deeply, gathering the words her heart cannot fathom to her lips, enunciating, “I swear, I will let him go myself.” 

Haziqa’s eyes widened in dismal for a moment, pitying her state but all she could do was pray for her betterment and if is not with Zain then so be it.

“I will pray for you.” She whispered, curling her lips in a feeble smile, patting her back, averting her gaze. “Tell me how am I supposed to leave him?” And she asked what pains her heart to think. The thoughts which tremble the foundations of her sanity.

“He is the only mistake I cannot recity, letting him go is no in my capabilities. Tell me, how am I supposed to convince my heart to leave him?” She asked, losing her posture, unaware a certain someone is listening to her words and is unintentionally hurt by them.

“Why..?” Hissing, she slammed her hand on the wall. “If it’s a mistake then why are you bothering?” A stone-cold voice came, hitching her breaths. 

A needle pricked in Zain’s heart upon hearing her perspective, the in-depth talk of her feelings towards him, dying for liberation and it hurt  him for a second. 

What kind of love is yours? Weary of your own desire?

But ignoring, he pretended to act emotionless. “Mistakes should be redeemed, do yours then.” He hissed, taking a step closer, narrowing his eyes in ire, flickering with a strange passion her mind cannot encrypt.

“We are not supposed to be talking.” She murmured, dodging his question, lowering her gaze, unable to collide with his extensive ones. 

“Oh right, right.” He scoffed, turning his head away with a snicker, “We weren’t supposed to be doing a lot of things but we are. Care to justify it as well?” He snarled, taking a step closer but Haziqa came in between, motioning him that they are in front of everyone and creating a scene is not a solution.

“Hmph.” Rolling his eyes off, his steps retreated not before glancing at Hoorain in disappointment, shaking his head he walked away, “Why am I bothering myself with this?” 

Asking himself, he walked away, going back to his work, pretending nothing happened and he accidentally didn’t say something he shouldn’t.

“What’s with him?” Haziqa asked, narrowing her eyes in perplexity, putting her hand on her waist. “I don’t know. I wonder what made him furious? Did I say something wrong?” Hoorain asked innocently, turning to her friend she shrugged her shoulders, “How would I know? I guess he had a bad day and took his anger on you.” She mumbled, speaking the obvious reasoning behind his action.

“I guess. Ah, leave it. Let’s go.” She shrugged her shoulders, not paying heed to it as they were leaving for the class. “By the way, Do you still consider I did wrong?” 

Haziqa asked, teasing her, pushing her from her shoulder but it brought a shy smile on her lips, she lowered her head and walked away without speaking further.

Later, Zain was giving her tuitions after the classes, unfavorable but she couldn’t help but to ponder about her words. Constricting his heart but he tried to remain calm but the irkness in his voice was clear. 

“Hoorain.” He called sternly, she gasped, holding her dress, tensing at his tone, “What?” He asked, arching a brow at her sudden jerk. “N-No, Nothing.” She shook her head, trying to control her overflowing sensations but it was clear on her face.

No matter how hard she tries, she cannot conceal the shyness flickering by his mere presence. “Hmm?” He noticed her reactions but sighed and began to teach her, diverting his mind from any misleading thought or emotions.

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