The Echos of my demons - Amber Songs (open ebook TXT) 📗

pulled into the hotel parking lot while he parked the car. Turning the car off leaning over to pull the lever for the trunk " take the stuff out the car, Imma run inside and grab a trolley" he said to me as he left the car. heading to the trunk of the car I pulled out the two duffel bags. Shawn rolling the trolley close enough to the car helping me place them on the cart "come on, my cousin already checked us in'. Devin was Shawn older cousin that booked the room under his name and checked us in because we were underage.  

 

Getting off the elevator we proceed to our room " what's the room number" I asked him while he was looking at each door "room 304" he pointed to the door "there it is"Shawn pulling the square white plastic key from out of a white paper sliding the key into the door *cick, Ping* he pulled the door open for me to walk in.

 

I place my bag on top of the desk in the room "I'm going to change my clothes in the bathroom" *zippp* opening my bag to pull out my night clothes, makeup wipes, and my hair tie " ok, Imma change out here" He said as I walked passed him " do you need me to zip down your dress for you?" with my back still facing him I looked over my shoulder " yeah" He approached me, sweeping my hair over my shoulder while slowing zipping down my dress.

 

 Entering the bathroom I began to place my things down, I could hear him walking around the room. music began to play in the background. my nerves were getting the best of me *I'm not ready* I thought to myself I've heard stories from other girls about how painful it was and how they bleed. looking into the mirror I pulled out the wipes to wipe my face and pulling off the fake lashes the makeup artist had put on me earlier that day. putting on a long white graphic tee that I took from a previous boyfriend before. Pulling my hair tie from my wrist, I began to put my curly hair into a bun. 

 

Maria Sanchez: "If you weren't ready? Why go through it?" 

Me: "He was my First love, why wouldn't I have done it?

 

Slowly emerging from the bathroom to the dark room leaving my things behind. He was sitting on the edge of the bed with his shirt off showing the tattoo of his mother's name, that was right below his left collar bone *Linda, what pretty name* I thought to myself. I've seen this tattoo many times before, I've seen him topless in his basket ball shorts many times before but this moment won't be like the last, at this moment I'm choosing to give myself to him. " come here" signaling his head for me to come closer while he licked his lips smiling at me. as I walked towards him, he stood up, pulling me close and began to kiss me. Pushing his tongue into my mouth as we slowly walked to the bed. I began to position myself up on the bed properly as he follows me with his lips still on mine. He stops to look at me " are you sure you want to do this?, we can stop if you wa..." cutting him off before he could finish " It fine.I want to do it".

 

He continued to kiss me as I lay down on the bed with him bracing himself on top of me. Moving his torso back and forth between my legs while sucking on my neck, lifting his head from my neck we started to kiss again. I locked my arms around his neck rubbing my hands all over his back, I can feel myself wanting him. He made me feel comfortable as he slowly lifted his body off mine to pull out the gold wrapper out his pocket, ripping it with his teeth. now kneeling in front of me. He being to pull his shorts down, propping myself up on the bed following his lead by pulling my underwear down and placing it to the side. my hearted started to race and my palms became sweaty. I watched as he put the condom over his penis.*This is it, the moment of womanhood*I Thought. laying back down. I froze, Preparing for the pain, He gently pulled me close spreading my legs apart to reposition himself between me. Push his self in and stopping half way to pull out to push back in again I was tense. I started digging my nails into his back, the pain was too much "you good?" he said while lifting his head from out my neck "I'm fine" No, I wasn't fine. After what felt like hours of stroking back and forth he stops, holding me tightly then pulling himself off me to walking to the bathroom. 30 seconds had gone by when he came out the bathroom to hand me a wet rag to wipe myself off. I slid off the bed to watch him pull the cover off to get another one from out the closet. I stood there thinking * it's gone just like that. my innocents was such a cliché*

 

Kelly Michaels

Maria: so happen after losing your virginity 

Me: mmm *tilting head to the side* it got worst 

Maria: worst how

Me: "I don't love you anymore" were his exact words to me 

 

"YOU DID WHAT?" Ester shouted through the phone. "we had sex". rubbing my hands throughout my hair to smooth out my fly aways "aww our baby is all grown up. how was it" Sam said to me as if she was talking to a child. " you know, it wasn't that bad but since that day.... I don't know he's been acting funny towards me". "funny how?" Ester said as if she was annoyed "mmm its been two days since we had sex and every time we talked or text, it just seems as though he does want to be on the phone with me" I said to her with concern. " boys are stupid" Sam said with disbelief in her voice.

 

After my phone conversation with Ester and Sam, I started to question my relationship. I knew I wanted to be with him but were his intention on being with me the same, was he only with me because he knew I was a virgin or that he really wanted to be with me. After almost a year of being with him, did I really know him? I try not to let my friends opinion on him cloud my judgment and believe him when it really counts. He was my first serious relationship, I didn't want to lose him. I had my heart set on him even went his mother had pulled me a side and told me " You're a good girl Melissa and I like you but my son *shaking her head in disapproval* he's still a young boy this is just a high school relationship that won't last"I wanted to tell Shawn what his mother had said to me but I didn't, I wanted to prove her wrong, I wanted to show her I was here for the long run.

 

Me: Hey

 

Shawn: Hey

 

Me: How you been? 

 

Shawn: Good

 

Me: Oh ok, ahh do you want to come over?

 

Shawn: Yea, give me a minute 

 

Hours had gone by, he never came over or even decided to call by then I have gone to bed with my pillow soaked in tears how could he have not called or texted me saying he couldn't make it anymore *he's selfish* I thought to myself. That morning I woke to look into the mirror to see the big bags under my eyes for crying myself to sleep. I picked up my phone to see a text from him *I'm Sorry* at 2 in the morning with no explanation with why he had done what he had done, throwing my phone to the side I started to get ready for graduation.

 

Arriving at graduation I was filled with nerves, Just the thought of seeing him made me nervous but he was nowhere in sight. Pulling my arm "where's Shawn" Ester whispered in my ear. *shrugging my shoulders* "I have no Idea". "guys please get in alphabetical order" Mrs. Herandez Shouted as she helps other students lined up. Later on that night I called him, even though I was mad at him, I was still worried. Slowly scrolling through my call list to find his name my hands began to shake as I tapped on his name I patiently listen to the sound of the phone ringing in my ears "Hello". The sound of his voice made the hairs on my neck stand up " Melissa" He said as he waited for my response. "Hey, what happened to you today? you didn't even show up for graduation". "yea, a Lot had gone on yesterday and I couldn't make it today, my Dad already spoke with the principal about it" "What happened" I eagerly asked him. "baby where should I put this?". 

 

I heard Faint voice said to him, I paused to take a Look at my phone as if I was holding the wrong Phone in my hand, while slowly pull it back to my ears "Who is that" I asked him, the voice was so familiar I've heard it before "ah Melissa, listen I've been wanted to talk to you about this but I think its time for us to break up". Break up, the word break up ripple through my ears as heart stopped, my stomach had an aching feeling in its "Excuse me" I shouted in shock " yea, it's not gonna work anymore". "wait! why are you breaking up with me I thought you said you love I thought you said I was the one" now with my eyes filled with tears I choking on my words "shorty I don't love you no more, I thought I did but I don't" his words were so cold towards me. what have I done for him to hate me "Shawn, you can't be serious, Who was that in the background" I couldn't stop myself from crying or from wanting to know who it was. "it's Kelly" he said " KELLY WHO" I shouted with anger " Kelly Michaels, seriously Melissa I don't have time for this right now. I'm with my shorty right now, I have to go". 

 

*click*

 

Kelly Michaels Name shot through me. My heart started to ache, I felt sick, I couldnt get pass the fact she was there with him and he called her "my girl" I qickly move the phone from my ears to call him back the would ring then go to voicemail then I would call back again on my fourth try the phone was answered "Melissa, Stop you looked disparate" Kelly said to me in a snob voice then she hung up. I fell to the ground as tears filled my eyes " Mel, Are you ok?" my mother said to me as she try to open my door, "im fine" I shouted back" "no you're not so open the door now"