Eric - Jody Kaye (read out loud books .txt) 📗
- Author: Jody Kaye
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Book online «Eric - Jody Kaye (read out loud books .txt) 📗». Author Jody Kaye
The graduates are lined up in alphabetical order, seated in the rows in front of their parents. My seat is empty. When I was sitting with my classmates, I’d tried to stop peering over my shoulder. It was useless. I hadn’t been able to convince myself that my own mother wasn’t attending my high school graduation. Diana Adair must be tucked up in the audience somewhere?
It is more than fine if my stepfather didn’t show. The sentiment would be the same with or without his outburst this morning. But the kind face I’d relied on as a child and never considered missing it isn’t here. Looking back, I’ll be able to pinpoint the last moment my mom was proud of me and chose me first.
Gazing back at the crowd, I’m glad the dark-stained oak stand covers my lower half. Miss Rose got her information secondhand, which means the town social network is ready to pounce. They’ll read into whatever statements I make, twisting and manipulating the words of my commencement address to fit whatever nastiness the current opinion of the Adair girl being knocked-up by a Kingsbrier is.
Some of them, like Eric’s momma, are probably right. How could I claim to love a boy and ruin his future? The insidious words Alan Adair spoke creep into my head. I’ve always known I’m not good enough to have been Eric Cavanaugh’s girlfriend.
I begin reading the lines on the printed paper. They fuzz together as I greet the high school staff, parents, and fellow graduates. Taking a deep breath, I vow not to let my emotions overwhelm me. If being valedictorian is my finest hour, I refuse to hand over the last of my self-worth.
There have to be other students in Texas, let alone the rest of the country, who were first in their class who are enduring the same thing. Well, not trying to deliver a speech and disguise a pregnancy, more standing up here with no one in the audience who has known them their entire life taking pride in the accomplishment. It was so much work to maintain my grades and not slip into the second spot. This is one of the few glimmers of things I can tell my baby I did right.
Starting at Z, I take the time to look at each of the classmates I’ve spent the last four years with and recite the words laid on the page. Despite being the middle born of the quints, Eric’s face is the first Cavanaugh I come upon. His brow is furrowed, he’s gazing at me with intent like he’s trying to parse each sentence into digestible chunks. Colton distracts an openly angry Daveigh by nudging her. His own face blank as a slate and unreadable. Brier picks her nails at first, then purses her lips into a polite flat smile. Adam’s arm is around his sister. I don’t feel a part of them the way I have these past few years. I’m as empty as my seat at the head of the alphabetized line.
With two paragraphs left, my focus is failing. There’s nothing rooting me to the ground. My head feels floaty like a balloon flying out of a child’s hand. Stares from the audience bore through me. They all have to know about the baby. They all must realize my parents abandoned me today. How could someone so smart do something so stupid?
Darkness blurs my vision and sparkling hints of white crackle as I close my eyes, hoping to regain some composure. I can’t pass out. Not now.
A slight movement fights for my attention and a figure in the crowd stands. Miss Rose is perfectly coiffed in her elegant suit and high heels. A fierce and determined look makes it abundantly clear Mrs. Cavanaugh will run, if not climb, through the seats to my aid.
I clutch the side of the podium. My lungs move hot breaths in and out of my body through my parched mouth. I swallow and nod to Eric’s momma, who relaxes back into her seat.
There are six more hypocritical sentences left about being the best person you can be, reaching for your dreams, and fulfilling the goals the graduates are setting for themselves on the path to adulthood. The crowd claps.
With shaky knees, I return to my seat. Bored by my diatribe, Colton slaps his hands together a few times when I pass by. I look at the first paragraph on the crumpled page, not remembering speaking it at all. My nervousness made me miss the most important day of my life. Clutching my stomach, I realize I won’t have a story to tell my baby. The girl next to me from my homeroom has to prompt me when it’s time to receive our diplomas. A day that should stand out in my memory is nothing but a blur of angry voices and disappointment.
I’m holding my cap in my hand while my peers search for the ones they’ve thrown. Parents who have separated from their children for the past hour, swirl in the crowd trying to capture those last precious moments. Meanwhile, I don’t even remember how the rolled paper with the school color’s ribbons tied to it got into my hand.
“We did it!” Brier bumps into me, talking to the rest of her friends in the Senior class.
Mr. Cavanaugh makes the rounds of his children from oldest to youngest. The pride on Ross’s face falters when he gets to Eric. I planted the seed that made his daddy think less of him. How awful.
Mr. Cavanaugh turns, seeing me wince. He offers a conciliatory hug.
“Please don’t think less of him,” I beg in a whisper.
Upon hearing this, Ross grips me with both arms, steadying my still swaying feet. “We’re getting through this as a family,” he replies.
Miss Rose places a hand on my back. “You should be real proud of yourself. It was a lovely speech.” Another woman approaches her, asking if they can speak in private. “I’d be glad to talk to you tomorrow.” Rose takes in the six young faces as if we’re her priority and the gossiper walks away satisfied. It’s the most graceful and polite blow-off I’ve ever witnessed.
“Momma, everyone’s headed to the creek later?” Brier poses the question as if she’s asking permission and won’t sneak away and go.
“No, Sugar, I made it clear today was for family. You had your fun last night.”
“Bu—” The tiny girl pretends to be crestfallen.
“Don’t argue. It won’t change my mind.”
“What good is being an adult, if we can’t do what we want?”
“Oh, you can do what you want, but not so long as you girls live under my roof.” She regards Brier, me, and Daveigh—whose upper lip has curled into Colton’s trademark snarl. “Let’s go start dinner. Boys, don’t be running off. Your daddy will need help with the grill and I don’t need to remind you if…”
“…you don’t do your part in the kitchen, you can find your own food.” The quints chant in unison.
A boy from our class leans in to say something in Eric’s ear. His soccer teammates have been doing this since we arrived. Eric’s head is already down. He shakes it, ignoring the rest of what the young man asks, and moves through the crowd to the exit.
“Come on Gin, you’re riding back to Kingsbrier with me, Daveigh, and Momma.” Brier tugs at my black gown. “Got everything? Where’s your diploma and the nice plaque they gave you for bein’ so smart?”
“I must have lost it.”
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7
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There are five of us, so we’re used to compromising and working toward the common good. For this stupid graduation dinner, it took us a week to decide what we were having. I was looking forward to it. Now, the juicy steak crumbles like sawdust in my mouth. The sour cream topping the baked potatoes spoils with each bite. It’s the worst meal I’ve ever eaten.
When it was only me and Gin in Brier’s room before leaving for the ceremony, I hadn’t been able to process much of the day’s events, let alone someone handing us a baby sometime in the next six months. It’s surreal because Ginny doesn’t look pregnant. My parents are upset, but I wanted to take the high road, the way they’re doing.
Our situation became very real when us quints entered the auditorium and the first player from my soccer team approached me, musing, “Heard Ginny’s got a bun in the oven.”
The words prickled over my skin like being roasted over a spit. My friends carried on without a filter. Hell, one had even congratulated me on my conquest. It chapped my hide on so many levels, including how I hadn’t a fucking clue this was possible. Scratch that. I knew it was possible, but we were taking precautions. Or so Gin led me to believe.
She played me for a fool.
“Did you find your plaque?” Adam asks Ginny. He’s sitting across from her. I fill the spot next to hers. I don’t want to be near her, but at least I don’t have to face her while we eat.
“Mr. Hamilton brought it to her as we were leaving,” Brier speaks up. Ginny’s hardly opened her mouth since we got back.
It’s apparent I’m oozing hatred and am not interested in her effort to make amends. When all those people spoke in my ear it was as if the magnitude of the problem struck me in the jaw. I’m used to the doubtful truths people try to pass about the five of us, but this afternoon, the other graduates leered at us. The mothers looked their noses down at mine while searching the crowd to do the same to Ginny’s. We’re Kingsbriers, and I’ve sullied my family’s reputation.
“May I be excused?” I ask. The day has been too long and emotional. I want my bed, to sleep, and to not wake up.
“Bus your plate,” Momma says with a graceful smile.
“I get his slice of cake.” Colton pulls another T-Bone from the serving platter. His appetite is notorious.
“Save my piece.” Daddy pushes his chair back and refills his drink. “And don’t let that boy near the rest of my dinner. If I pay for the food around here, I damn well get a chance to eat it.”
“He got you,” Daveigh teases.
Colton reaches boarding-house style, removing a warm bun from the basket with one hand while his fork stabs the last broccoli spear on her plate.
“Hey!”
“Setyourselfupforthatone.” Adam wipes his full mouth with a napkin.
Trailing down the hall, I overhear the remnants of the conversation at the table.
“Eric,” Dad calls, gesturing to the study.
I understand his meaning. Flopping down on the couch, I lean all the way back, hoping it swallows me whole. My head rests on a cushion and I close my eyes.
My father enters the room on my heels. Ross says nothing for a long time, giving me the chance to lead the conversation. I won’t. I’m tired and confused. Angry. Hurt. Heartbroken.
“What do you think is worse, getting the girl you love pregnant or everyone knowing you couldn’t get the girl you love pregnant?”
My head flies up. Growing up, pretty much everything about ‘the talk’ Daddy handled as part of animal husbandry. It’s impossible to live on a farm without knowing where babies come from.
“Are you worried about people’s comments today? Not lying, I heard them too. Consider for a second the gum flapping that went on around here before you were born.”
“Whatever,” I
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