Unspoken Attractions by Failia Baighaan (read after txt) 📗

29- Teach Me

“You are the most important person in my life.” He confessed. 

Her eyes widened, declining it to be an illusion and pulled her hand away.

“Then why did you say you don't want to be with me?” She asked, making a crying face.

“Why did you break my heart when I mean so much to you?” She asked sadly.

“You want to know why?” 

His smile became bewitching, a rare smile holding affection she never perceived.

“Hoorain…” He began to say, taking a strand of her hair in his hand.

“You are beautiful.” Pausing, their eyes sank into each other.

When he tugged the strand behind her ears, “So beautiful.” 

Tilting his head to get a clearer glimpse, he whispered indepthly, “You always were.” 

She lost her ability to react or speak, instantly drawn into his words, his voice, his presence. 

She lost before him.

Her world ceased to exist and defeated before emotions, she gave herself to his words, forgetting everything else.

“And I don’t think someone like me deserves you.” He said what was hurting him the most from the very start. 

Ever since her confession, this fact drove Zain insane but he kept it inside him and now it came out.

“What?” She asked, smile faltering, not expecting he would say this. 

“Yes. Ever since you confessed, I always believed I cannot keep you happy, that you don’t have to be with me. You have no idea how superior you are in my eyes.” He said, caressing her cheek, a smile growing with tears brimming in his eyes.

“You are at such a high level that even if I want, I cannot reach it. You are so far from me.” He whispered.

“I had nothing to give you, I didn’t know what love is, I didn’t have a stable career, I couldn’t fulfill your wishes, I couldn’t love you properly. I don't want you to love a loser like me.” A tear fell on his cheek, lowering his gaze in shame.

“I can’t give you expensive gifts, not fancy dinners and I personally wanted to give you anything you laid your eyes upon but I can’t.” 

“I want to give you all my love but I am struggling with emotions as well… I have nothing, what can I offer you when I have nothing? No money, no love, no affection.” He paused, swallowing hard to not cry but he couldn’t take it anymore.

"I am useless, I can't do anything… I can’t do anything for you, I can't keep you happy."

His heart couldn’t take the weight anymore and he ended up taking it out, sobbing.

“Ever since this engagement, I haven’t seen you happy, not even once and it’s all my fault. I can’t give you any happiness. I am so back.” His voice, his heart along with posture broke.

“I can’t give you anything. I am sorry. I am so sorry. I am pathetic and I want you to be with someone better, not me who can’t give you anything.” 

Her mind went blank.

Tears blurred her vision, seeing him cry shattered her heart. She didn’t know he was piling up all those thoughts inside his mind.

“It’s not that I don’t feel the same or hate you, I just don’t think I am fit enough to be known as your partner. To be granted with such a privilege.” He cried, pulling his hand away but she took it, holding his hand tightly.

“I don’t deserve you, you always had what you desire in your life but I can’t give you that and it’s killing me.” He sobbed.

“You ask me one thing, Hoorain. One thing, to love you and I don’t even know how to love. What is it or what should I feel? I can’t give you one thing.”

He told her the weight consuming his mind, his weakness, his guilt.

Tears streamed down his face and she couldn’t take it anymore, tears began to roll down her cheek.

Kissing his hand, she tried to speak but ended up crying as well. Witnessing his tears was the hardest task ever.

“Please don’t say this, Zain, please. That’s not it.” She whispered, holding his one hand with her both.

“Why not, Hoorain? You had everything you desired in your life and I can’t give you that life. I am trying so hard to grasp my feelings.” He whispered, shaking his head, crying his heart out.

“But I felt overwhelmed in your presence, I have to think many times before touching my own fiancée. I feel like I am not allowed to touch you.”

He was panting heavily, wiping his tears, turning his head away. 

"You make me feel inferior, that I shouldn’t be with you. That I am not allowed to stand beside you. That I am not worthy…"

“I shouldn’t be with you, you should be with someone of your position.” 

“You cannot choose who to love, Zain. I have given my heart to you and nothing could change this fact.” She confessed.

The sound of his cries was affecting her mind more than she could imagine, cracking her heart.

“I am sorry, I have nothing to offer you. I am so sorry…” He cried, pulling his hand away, covering his face to at least hide his tears but failed miserably.

She held his hands, refusing to let them go now or ever. She never fathomed that he holds this perspective about himself.

“How can you say this, Zain, when you are all I ever prayed to have in all these years?” She whispered, bringing her hand closer to his face, wiping his tears.

“What am I before you?” He asked breathlessly, forcing his cries to a halt but the pain gleamed clearly in them.

“You are my world, I don’t care about anything. If I can walk with you, I will gladly offer all my riches.” She whispered, kissing his hand, smiling.

Her hand cupping his cheek, wiping the tears with her thumb, hating the liquid which is breaking his heart. It was unbearable for her.

“I need you, it’s okay. I swear I will be happy in whatever you will provide me but at least I will be with you. That is all I want.” She smiled, putting his hand over her forehead.

“I am sorry. I am so sorry, Hoorain.” He said sincerely, putting his hand over hers on his cheek.

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