Benign Flame: Saga of Love - BS Murthy (best way to read an ebook .TXT) 📗

the vague fulfillment she derived from their encounter that came to the fore made her long even more for it, her fondness for her mate only helped increase her craving for the he-man of her daydreams, and in that state, her passion was like a landscape in the sky, ever altered by the passing current

------

Next morning Roopa reached Sandhya’s place with mixed feelings and entering her bedroom dullish, she found her mate draping a Gadwal sari

“Why so late!” Sandhya said dropping her sari.

“Blame my lethargy of anxiety,” said Roopa, having outstretched her hands in invitation.

“How I’ll miss you from now on,” said Sandhya, smug in Roopa’s embrace

“I would be the worst hit,” Roopa couldn’t hold back her tears.

“Our love should give us solace,” said Sandhya warmly, as her shoulder was warmed with Roopa’s tears.

“The thought of losing you frightens me,” said Roopa in between sobs.

“I swear I’ll always be yours,” said Sandhya as she tightened her hold on Roopa.

“But, it won’t be long before you get married,” said Roopa.

“As our need is mutual, I won’t let my man spoil our party,” said Sandhya to assuage Roopa.

“If I’ve a reason to live, it’s for our love,” said Roopa trying to wipe her own tears.

“The hope of my life is the product of your love,” said Sandhya licking Roopa’s tears.

“Let it be our sweet secret,” said Roopa mystically, reaching for Sandhya’s lips as though to seal them.

“Isn’t it the charm of our life?” said Sandhya in surrender.

When finally Roopa got up to leave, Sandhya wouldn’t let her get down from the bed.

“Stay for a while,” she implored to her mate with a feeling of wanting.

“Given half a chance I would get glued to you but as he rents a house in Hyderabad, I’ve to move into my sour home then,” said Roopa as she reluctantly weaned herself away from Sandhya’s vice-like embrace,

 

Chapter 5

Moorings of Marriage

 

On a tip-off from a friend, Sathyam contacted Kantha Rao, the owner of a house situated at the dead end of a by- lane in Domalaguda.

“Are you a vegetarian?” enquired Kantha Rao, on the wrong side of the fifties.

As Sathyam answered in the affirmative, the interrogation continued.

“Are you married?” he asked.

As Sathyam certified his marital status, chimed in Lalitha, the childless woman of the house,

“See, we don’t let out to bachelors, forced or otherwise.”

Thereafter, he was shown the place by the couple, however, only after getting convinced about his other credentials. That first floor penthouse, thought Sathyam, would immensely interest Roopa. Moreover, he didn’t find it wanting for privacy either.

“The rent would be a thousand rupees; the electricity is to your account, metered by the sub-meter and the water bill is to be shared pro-rata,” Kantha Rao went about acquainting his prospect, as if he were delivering his maiden budget speech in the parliament.

“Sir, it’s very much on the higher side for a hall and a room!” protested Sathyam earnestly.

“Boy, you don’t seem to count the kitchen and the storeroom with a loft large enough to hide an elephant, if you please. Besides, you can’t fail to take into account the excellent amenities, the western toilet, cupboards all over, the wash-basins, and all others that lend comfort. Above all, it’s a penthouse that provides privacy as soul would ever get an inkling of the twining inside,” smiled Kantha Rao meaningfully.

A bargain ensued, and to the discomfiture of the couple, Sathyam appeared adept at it.

As both didn’t want to lose the other, they compromised for a rent of eight-fifty. At the end while Sathyam was excited that he could so easily fix an appropriate accommodation, Kantha Rao was pleased that the couple, without an entourage, wouldn’t strain the scarce water-bed during the summers.

So, post-haste, Sathyam reached Kakinada to fetch Roopa, and Pathrudu picked up the Pedda Purnaiah’s almanac for the auspicious date for the journey. Meanwhile, arrangements were made on a war footing to transport the household goods through SRMT.

That evening, accompanied by their kith and kin, the newlyweds reached the Town Railway Station to the announcement that the link train to Godavari Express was expected shortly. And as the train did indeed arrive shortly thereafter from the Port Station, there was pell-mell at that Town Platform.

While the Sathyams were taking leave of those present, Pathrudu helped the porter posit the luggage beneath the lower berth in a first class coupe even as Sathyam made it to the bogie, followed by Roopa and Sandhya. Standing by the entrance, as Sandhya and Roopa were seen whispering to each other mirthfully, staring at them, Sathyam thought,

 ‘After all, she doesn’t seem to be serious by nature. But why she’s always morose with me?’

When its readiness for departure was announced, Roopa got into the train only to grab Sandhya’s hand greedily, as if it were a treasure.

Soon the guard gave the green signal that triggered a new phase in Roopa’s life, and as if hanging on to her memory, Roopa stood rooted near the gate and waved to Sandhya until she was out of her sight. Meanwhile, the train, for its part, curved to its right, seemingly enabling the driver to greet the guard at the rear.

“Roopa,” she heard Sathyam call her, and followed him.

As if to preempt a conversation, Roopa took the window seat and picked up ‘The Reader’s Digest’. Sitting by her side, Sathyam couldn’t help but admire her beauty in her profile.

‘What a fascinating beauty!’ But why is she so reticent?’ he wondered.

‘What should’ve gone wrong!’ he went into contemplation. ‘Was she forced into the marriage against her will? How it can be. After all, the matchmaker swore they were keen on our match. Oh, didn’t he maintain that if it ever came to missing our match they were ready to pull her out of the college and perform her marriage ahead of her elder sister’s. How pleased they were all at the gesture of accommodation. Was it no more than a mere white lie to hasten her marriage? But then, why it was so? Was she carrying on with someone? Well, was she pulled out mid-course as it were to thwart her elopement? Or worse still, she might have got pregnant, prompting all that unseemly haste. Oh God, what’s all this!’

Whatever it was, he thought he should probe her forthwith. As he was about to open, she closed her eyes as though to stall his attempt.

‘How lovely she looks even with closed eyes!’ he thought endearingly, and espied her devotedly.

As if compelled by curiosity, the wind surged through the window to have a glimpse of her wondrous demeanor. In turn, her luxuriant hair unsheathed itself from the plait to veil her face as though to foil that bid. Undaunted by the nature of the camouflage, the surging wind tried to disperse the guards on duty to get a proper view for itself, only to find them regroup every time. The unfolding tussle amused Sathyam.

‘When she’s so enchanting in her reluctance, won’t she be as devastating in her eagerness? Is she upset that I didn’t accede to her request?’ he surmised.

“Roopa,” he alerted her tenderly.

“Hahn,” she was nearly inaudible.

“Have you married me against your will?” he asked hesitantly.

“Who gave you that impression?” she said in embarrassment, though she didn’t appear surprised. Her manner even suggested that she expected him to say that.

“I can see that you’re just going through the motions,” he said dryly.

“I’m a little moody, that’s all,” she tried to be evasive, but seemed to be on the defensive.

“But not so with Sandhya, I’ve seen how lively you’re with her,” he sounded rather argumentative.

‘She’s the only joy of my life,’ she thought but didn’t reply.

“Are you angry with me for refusing?” he said.

“You’ve your excuses,” she said nonchalantly, and opened her eyes as if to grasp his feelings.

“Don’t talk like that, it hurts,” he said, and went into a winding explanation of his helplessness.

“I swear upon my love that I won’t disappoint you again,” he tried to make her reconcile to the situation.

He has bared his heart to let her feel the love he bore for her. As she didn’t hold him high in her esteem any way, his love too didn’t mean much to her. Nevertheless, she was pleased at being adored.

Shortly thereafter, the train reached Samalkot to be shunted to the Godavari Express, expected from Visakhapatnam, and finding her still morose, Sathyam kept wondering what was amiss in their marriage.

“Are you in love with someone?” he asked her as the train moved out of the station at length.

“You should’ve tried to find out before and better late than never, you can do all your spying on me now,” she said nonchalantly.

“Your manner made me say so but I’m sorry for hurting you,” he sounded apologetic.

“Thanks,” she sounded uncharacteristically sarcastic.

He then withdrew into a shell in the manner of a person who commits an indiscretion. Seeing him sulk, she felt sorry for him.

‘Am I not being rude to him?’ she thought and as her conscience confirmed in the affirmative, her heart was filled with pity for him.

‘After all, it’s not his fault that he isn’t smart,’ she reasoned. ‘Didn’t I sense his shortcomings in the first meeting itself? Well, I knew from the beginning what was in the offing for me. Yet, I married him out of my own compulsions, didn’t I? So why should I be cut up with him for no fault of his?’

‘I’m at fault for being cool towards him,’ she thought in time. ‘Moreover, he might have his own expectations from his wife and married life. Didn’t I nurse my own dreams though they turned sour in the end? What right I have to mar his life as his wife? Had I declined, who knows, he would have got a wife who could have adored him and made him happy all his life!’

Even though she realized that she was being unfair to him as his wife, yet she bemoaned,

‘But I can’t bring myself to love him. Am I not the worse for that?’

Then she thought that if only she could love him, her life would be lively as well, and that very idea for the attendant impracticality made her feel bitter about her fate, ‘Oh, loveless life is no better than a lifeless corpse.’

‘Yet he loves me,’ she contemplated in the same vein. ‘Isn’t it said that it’s better to marry someone who loves you than the one whom you might love. Why, hasn’t it turned out to be true in his case? Well, for all his love, an unresponsive body for a mate is what he gets from me. How wasteful is misplaced love, for the one who loves and the loved one as well!’

As she was overcome with pity for him, she looked at him instinctively, and found him staring at her adoringly.

‘Am I not being cruel to him, though I’m not enthused about him, I’ve no right to dampen him. So, I should accommodate him even if I cannot love him. Surely, a sense of fairness demands that,’ she thought as she felt guilty.

“I’m sorry for hurting you,” she said, extending her hand to him.

Overwhelmed by her gesture, he was at a loss for words. As his eyes welled, he soaked her hand with kisses. Feeling gratified by the gratification she had caused, she found herself seeing life in a new light.

“How long does it take us to reach our home from the railway station?” she asked so as to start a dialogue.

“Just under half an hour; my friend Ramu will receive us at the Secunderabad railway station. I had sent him the Lorry Receipt and he would have shifted the luggage to our house by now,” he said as her gesture relaxed his nerves.

“I don’t think he attend our wedding,” she continued just to keep it going.

“He couldn’t make it; it’s a different story,” he said with apparent disappointment.

“What is it?” she asked more to please him than driven by any curiosity.

“Ramu is in love with Meera, his colleague where he worked earlier. Though she agreed to his proposal,