The Second Wife by Melinda Mulera (book club reads .txt) 📗

Chapter 53: Avery's vulnerable side

After all the wailing, I fell asleep at some point to ease my headache a little since the crying amplified it with each passing second, only to wake up to a voice calling me deep inside the darkness of my dreams.

"Iris wake up." I heard it say again before I opened my eyes only to stare into those familiar grey eyes. I turned instantly from him and furrowed my brows. "Fine, I'm sorry I said that, okay?" He asked as I felt him sit down. "I was just really jealous. It's not your fault, and I'm glad you didn't push me away."

"If I did, things would have gone smoothly for me right now. I let my feelings get the best of me when I should have just shoved it to the back of my head." I sniffed as tears streamed down the bridge of my nose to the pillow.

I really wish I did.

What happened between Hazel and me wouldn't be avoided because I didn't know how I felt about Avery. I felt strongly for Hazel and how good he was to me. But I had a choice when it came to Avery. I would have chosen Hazel and pushed Avery away. But I didn't. I let my emotions decide for me.

"Are you regretting me?" I heard Avery ask and I sighed out shakily.

"Not you. Just what we did." I said out breathlessly.

"Iris...." He trailed off before he suddenly threw himself on the spot in front of me. Our eyes met and I couldn't help as the tears came out more. "I'm glad you made me feel this way about you. I'm glad you didn't push me away, please don't say you regretted us sharing a moment together. It really hurts me." He whispered as he reached out and cupped my cheek, beginning to wipe the tears off with his thumb. "Don't say such things. I like how far we went."

"Your feelings only grew after you had me." I whispered out as my voice struggled to come out. "If you hadn't slept with me you wouldn't-"

"Iris don't assume that I'm here because I enjoy having it with you. I fell in love with you ever since we met. Do you honestly think I only loved you after that?" He leaned closer to the point our breathes mixed into each other.

"Seemed so." I whispered as he circled his arm around my waist, bringing me closer to him in a hug.

"Well it's not. I had never really fallen for someone this much so I didn't know how to react to it. I didn't want to feel it. But I couldn't resist it. The day I came to talk to you was the day I built enough courage to talk to the woman I had a crush on. Felt like I was a teenager again in highschool. Then I noticed the way you looked at Hazel and I felt scared, that I lost you before I even started. I was going to tell you. I really was. But when you left me that night for Hazel, I had a feeling you didn't feel the same way. When you came back to work the next day, I asked if you were still a virgin because I was really really scared. When you told me no, I thought I actually lost you for good. I panicked. That's why I forced myself on you, just so I can let you know what I felt without saying it. Luckily enough, you kind of got the hint. The women after you were just a cover up, not to expose my feelings for you and look like an idiot, crappy idea, I know. When you told me about your feelings, I didn't believe it for a moment and just to protect myself I denied having feelings for you. Up until I came running when I heard you were pregnant." He chuckled and leaned down to kiss my forehead. "You had me falling for you long before you did."

"If you told me sooner, we wouldn't be here. We would have been somewhere else." I said as I looked into his eyes. "Things wouldn't be this stressful."

"If I did, you wouldn't have felt the same way." He chuckled softly. "You hated me, you found me unbearable to be around and selfish. You didn't like the very thought of me. We would have ended up further than now."

He was right about it.

I didn't like him.

I never did until he showed it to me.

"I love you." He whispered as he lowered himself a bit. "I want you to be mine, Iris. I want you to know how much I've been wanting to call you mine." He leaned closer to the point our lips only stroked each other. I shut my eyes as a slight tickling feeling circled my lips where they stroked. "Hazel came in too fast before I could show you what I felt. I wanted it to be slow and steady, to be your first man. The man that you'll never forget. To be your first and last. It's what I was hoping. But I guess that failed. I acted too evil towards him that you felt disgusted and left. It's my fault I lost grip of you. I admit that." His feet began to tangle with mine, though a little lower since he was taller. "But I'm not letting you go. Even when it's his, I'll just let you carry mine after."

"You might get arrested." I worriedly stated and I knew he wasn't lying from the look in his eyes.

"At least I'll know when I get out you'll be all mine. I wouldn't mind." He chuckled leaning down to my lips and kissing me softly. "I won't be able to stand down knowing Hazel possesses you every single time I'm about to sleep. I'd rather let it be me." He smiled against my lips before kissing me deeply. A bit rough but it was bearable until he leaned back and sat up from the bed. "Let's go have dinner before it gets cold." He said as he got on his knees and grabbed my wrists, pulling me from the bed to sit up as well. "What's wrong?"

"Won't you make things difficult?" I asked, concerned he wasn't even thinking of backing down.

"It will be." He frowned slightly as he studied my face. "Don't you want me to be the one you'll stay with?"

"That's not what I mean-"

"Currently, who would you want to spend the rest of your life with?" He asked as he gripped onto my thighs. "Who do you think is better, right now, between me and Hazel. You don't have to lie, I won't get mad either way." He whispered as he reached up to hold my cheek. "Who has the advantage?"

I stared into his pleading eyes and I knew he wanted to hear the answer so badly. But I didn't want to tell him. I didn't want either of them to try to fix themselves.

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