Any Man Of Mine - sade meeks (top young adult novels txt) 📗

actually looked like a deer caught in the headlights and then his eyes flew in Lula's direction for a moment before he regained his composure. Deciding it was in my best interest to distract him, "Help me find the section with Shania Twain's stuff. There's an album of hers I wanna buy." When he didn't budge to help me, I scooted closer and said, "Lighten up, or next time I'll bring Grandma shopping with us instead of Lula." Tank relaxed his stance somewhat but kept scanning the store anyway. I decided it wasn't a battle I was likely to win and sighed.

I found an album of Shania's that had Any Man of Mine on it, I didn't care which one as I wasn't interested in the other songs anyway, and headed over to where Lula was at the check out counter. She had about half a dozen CDs she was buying. I noticed the top one on the stack was Bonnie Raitt. "I didn't realize Bonnie Raitt was considered country music," I said to Lula.

"She's one of them multi-tasking singers, does stuff in different kinds of music." Lula and I each paid for our own purchases and the three of us waited for an opening in the Saturday mall crowds to cross over to Auntie Anne's little pretzel stand which was directly in front of Victoria's Secret. I got a cinnamon and sugar coated large soft pretzel for me. Lula and Tank each got two pretzels, one plain and one with a side of cheese. I guess Tank had decided to lighten up somewhat; usually the Merry Men don't do anything so ordinary as eat while on the job, especially mall duty.

While we ate our pretzels, we continued with the general flow of traffic down that side of the mall corridor to the other end of the mall since we couldn't go into Victoria's Secret with food. We stopped and stood outside the entrance to Macy's, identical looks of longing on mine and Lula's faces. I don't know how long we stood there, finishing off our snacks, before Tank grabbed both of us by the hand and forcibly turned us away from the store.

As we scooted our way around the Coffee Beanery, I saw the familiar red and white checkered decorating scheme of Bath and Body Works. I'd heard rumors that Bath and Body Works were slowly switching over their color scheme to be blue and white instead, but I saw no signs of it happening here. Knowing I'd be followed, I turned into the store without saying anything. I was running low on my every day fragrance, Warm Vanilla Sugar, and figured this was as good a time as any to pick up more lotion and bubble bath. The scent reminded me of baking cookies and that usually led me around to thinking about the one night Ranger and I…

"Good choice Girlfriend, I need some more lotion and shower gel. Coco Cabana and Rice Flower and Shea here I come." Lula winked up at Tank, grabbed his hand, and attempted to drag him with her. I gave him a push to help.

"I'm just going to be over there," I pointed to the display not even six feet away from where Lula was trying to get him to go. "Go." I pushed on him again for good measure and this time he moved.

After sampling a few other scents, I found the Vanilla Sugar I was looking for and picked up a few bottles. I could hear Lula fussing behind me and turned around in time to see her spritz Tank with something. This had me very curious. As a general rule, Bath and Body Works doesn't tend to carry masculine scents. I walked close enough to see the label on the bottle in her hand. Exotic Coconut. I tried unsuccessfully to keep from chuckling.

"Well Tank, look at it this way; I think smelling like fruit as a result of 'Stephanie Watch' is a new one," I told him, giggling as Lula went to pay for her purchases.

Tank was going to smell like suntan lotion and the beach for the rest of the day-not exactly feminine but not masculine either. I hoped he didn't run into Lester before he got a chance to shower. Tank would never live it down if he did.

I leaned in close and took a deep breath, "mmmm… coconut. It really could have been worse, you know, she could have decided to try out Gardenia or Strawberry Lemonade." Full out laughing now, I headed to the counter to make my own purchases. I looked back at Tank and saw him standing there, shaking his head, arm around Lula's shoulders.

Yes! I discreetly pumped my fist once in victory – Lula and I had succeeded in getting Tank to relax as much as he ever does and just enjoy the time at the mall. Okay, maybe he wouldn't use the word enjoy but I would. After this, I couldn't wait to see how our next stop went.

Again, if you feel inclined to review, I'd like to know what you think so far. Thank you. I'm sorry for the delay in updating. My muse went on strike. Hopefully things will pick up again now that she's back at work.
(continued)

Turning to the left we headed towards the end of the mall anchored by JC Penney. I found myself tuning out most of Lula's running commentary about the people and various shops we passed on our way to Victoria's Secret. I tuned back in when I realized Lula had gone quiet and Tank had his phone to his ear. I wondered who was on the other line.

"Affirmative." Boy, isn't that informative? I rolled my eyes. Tank handed the phone to me. Perplexed, I took the phone. "Ranger," he said simply.

Ah ha.

"Hello."

"Yo. Having fun shopping?"

"Yep. Just one more shop to hit before we leave and head back to my apartment."

"What shop?" Shit.

"VictoriaSecret. Why, is anything wrong?" I said the first part in a rush, hoping he would answer my question and not think too much about the answer I gave.

"No, arranging the next shift. Tank's got the night off. I need to talk to him again."

I handed the phone back to Tank and tried to figure out the rest of the conversation from his end of it. Not easy to do when Tank's side consisted of a few "affirmatives", a look at me, and an "understood." As Tank was closing his phone, we had reached the front of Victoria's Secret.

I paused momentarily. Victoria's Secret was usually a Merry-Man-free zone, with the guys preferring to wait directly outside the door monitoring who entered and exited. I wasn't so sure what was going to happen today since Tank wasn't merely on duty. Knowing he definitely wasn't going in the store if I didn't, I sighed to myself, and in I went.

Lula has a theory that you can tell what a man is really made of by testing to see if he will go shopping in Victoria's Secret with you. She wanted to find out how Tank handled the situation months ago while I was looking for Samuel Singh, but we didn't have time that day. I guess she'd get her chance today. I have to admit, I was a bit curious myself.

I positioned myself just inside the store, where I appeared to be looking at a display rack, but in reality I was watching the exchange taking place outside the store. Tank had stopped, looked above the door where the name was scripted in pink letters, and seemed to be considering something. I don't know what Lula said to him, but I saw him smile. They came into the store together…hmm…that was interesting, but I'm not exactly sure I wanted to know what she said to convince him to follow us.

Lula threw a wink in my direction as she led Tank towards the counter where two saleswomen were in conversation about a date one had had the night before.

"Hey Girls, what's shakin'?" Startled, the two saleswomen looked up at Lula's words. It was simple to understand their unease; unless you're me or Connie, it's not every day you are approached by a full figured black woman encased in orange spandex that was stretched to the limit, even in Jersey, because let's face it, not many women have Lula's particular sense of style. "Let me give you the low down here. I want some sexy stuff for my man, Tank, here. Rumor has it, you all started selling man-panties and I want to see them, so bring 'em on."

I'm amazed the sound of my jaw hitting the tiled floor didn't cause everyone to look in my direction. Man-panties? At Victoria's Secret? TANK? Oh, I so did not need to go there. I was even more shocked when one of the saleswomen started nodding vigorously in Lula's direction, reminding me of a bobble head doll.

"Yes we are one of the few stores nationwide piloting a new male focused line called Victor's Mysteries. Right now, we carry what you referred to as 'man-panties', was it, in leopard print, zebra print, black, and camouflage, all silk. We've found that the military wives just love the camouflage ones to give their husbands upon their return home." After she finished, she stepped back to size Tank up, shuffled through a container of packages in front of her, and brought out one of each print.

Tank glanced at them, looked around to locate me, and motioned me over. I stepped back. I had no desire to see the man-panties (damn Lula and that phrase, now I'll be stuck with it forever) they picked out for him. I did not want my mind going in that direction. I was a teensy bit curious what they looked like though, not that I'd buy a pair for anyone. I didn't have a guy to buy them for, anyway. Joe and I were through, I sure as hell wasn't buying a pair for my father or Albert, and Ranger went commando. Not that it was even the slightest bit appropriate for me to consider buying underwear for Ranger. Absolutely not.

Tank made a move in my direction when he saw I wasn't going to join them willingly, so to avoid drawing any undue attention to myself, I put my hand up in the universal 'stop' motion and made my way in their general direction. Keeping my eyes firmly averted from the male undergarments on display on the counter, I began to browse through a rack of babydolls that were next to the counter. Apparently I was close enough to satisfy Tank because he directed his attention back to Lula. "Whatever you want to see, Baby. We'll get whatever you want."

Lula squealed and picked up three of the packages, then spoke to the saleslady one more. "Doesn't he need to try them on or something? He's no average Joe if catch my meaning. They don't call him Tank for nothing, ya know." She said winking at the lady who blushed slightly as her eyes subconsciously wandered to the area below Tank's waist.

"He-He-He's welcome to use the s-s-staff restroom in the back. W-w-w-we don't have d-d-dressing rooms for males yet. However, if he knows his waist size, he should be fine choosing a size that way." Tank told the lady his waist measurement and she found the appropriate size in the patterns Lula had chosen.

By this time, I had to get away before I melted into a puddle of embarrassment. I quickly grabbed a few babydolls off the rack in front