Earthbound - DM Arnold (popular e readers TXT) 📗

have any idea what carpe diem means?”

“It's Latin,” she replied. “It means 'seize the day.'” She made a grasping gesture to illustrate the word.

“Seize the day?”

“Yes, I'm surprised you've never seen it before.”

“I guess I've led a sheltered life, with my plants and culture dishes and all.”

“You're an odd mix of innocence and wisdom, Nick. It's one of your more endearing traits.”

He talked with her as he tended his cultures. At five o'clock, he switched off the lights, locked the lab door and escorted her to her apartment building. It diverted his route home by only a short distance.

Her hand touched his. He placed his palm against hers and spread his fingers. She laced her fingers with his and he walked, holding hands with her. He walked slowly, savoring her company and the conversation.

“Nick, don't you think the lights are beautiful? I like seeing the lights this time of year. I'm so happy you accepted my invitation to come over for Christmas Eve dinner. I don't think I could bear being alone.”

“It's an important day -- one of the more important Christian holidays.”

“I think Christmas today is about twenty-five percent Christian, twenty- five percent pagan, and the rest commercial.”

“Pagan?” he asked.

“Yes. Many of the Christmas customs derive from pagan solstice festivals, like the Roman Saturnalia ... I'm sorry, Nick, I'm lecturing you as if you were one of my students.”

“Please continue -- I enjoy listening to you. You teach comparative religion. Are you religious?”

“No, I'm not. I don't believe in a specific, personal god, in heaven or an afterlife. I do believe in spirituality and I try to be a spiritual person -- it's the reason I meditate. I think it's possible to be spiritual without being religious, and the other way around. I do think all religions are valid as a metaphor for the fundamental mystery of the universe -- 'Where did I come from and where am I going?' What about you?”

“I'm not religious and I'm not sure I know what it means. I do believe in Destiny. The universe appears chaotic, but I think there's some underlying plan for how it unfolds. Destiny traces a path for each of us, one we have no choice but to follow.” He reached her apartment. “Lunch tomorrow?” he asked.

“Of course.” She gave his hand a squeeze, then unlocked the door and went into her apartment building. He stood and watched the door close, turned and headed home.

Nyk locked up the lab and walked to Suki's apartment. “Thank you for coming,” she said. “Christmas Eve makes me sad and your company will cheer me up.”

“Why are you sad?”

“Because it reminds me of happier and simpler times. My mother is Buddhist, and my father is ... well, I don't know what he is, but he's not a practicing Christian. They used to celebrate Christmas for my sake, so I wouldn't feel too different from the rest of the kids at my school. They'd put up a Christmas tree, hang stockings, and have presents... As I grew older the tradition wasn't so special. The last Christmas I remember celebrating was when I was in the eighth grade, I think. The last three were nothing special, believe me.”

She presented him a package, about half the dimensions of his laptop computer and wrapped in colorful paper. “Merry Christmas, Nick. Open it.” He opened it and inside was an Indian cookbook. “This one is the best -- it's the one I use. It's also out of print, so I had a used bookstore hunt a copy down for me. There are some inspired vegetarian meals in here.”

She looked into his eyes. “Please accept this gift, from one stranger to another.”

Nyk replied, “Thank you -- this is special, and I shall cherish it. Now, I have a gift for you. Merry Christmas, Suki.” He handed her the small box. She opened it, removed the pouch, and held the stone in the palm of her hand.

“I ... I can't accept this ... it's too much.”

“Please accept this gift in the spirit in which I give it.”

“It's too much. I'd feel obligated in a way that makes me uncomfortable. There's no way I could afford to reciprocate.”

“The stone is synthetic. It didn't cost me a thing. I brought this because I thought it would cheer you. Please accept it.”

“You mean it's an artificial stone? I know something about gems, Nick. Remember, my grandfather was a jeweler. This sure looks like a real diamond to me!”

“Oh, it's real, it's just synthetic. My company makes them. We've developed a technology to make diamonds synthetically. They're just as real as natural stones. Please accept it.”

Suki looked up at him. “It's beautiful. I've never seen a more beautiful diamond. It looks to be about two carats. Thank you very much.” She kissed him on the cheek. “Let's have dinner.”

Nyk sat with her on her sofa until nearly midnight. “It's getting late,” he said. “I'd better be leaving.”

“Please don't leave me alone tonight. I couldn't bear it. I get sad at Christmas now, because it reminds me of happy times that are gone -- gone forever and replaced with sad memories. We strangers must stick together. You said if I ever felt alone or afraid, I should call on you. Please stay with me tonight.”

“Are you afraid?” he asked.

“I don't want to be alone on Christmas.” Nyk put his arm around her and held her. She leaned against him. “Mmm, this feels so good, Nick.” Nyk dozed and his head fell against hers. He awoke with a start.

He held her hand and followed her into the bedroom. Nyk stretched out on the bed and Suki lay beside him. He put his arm around her and held her tightly, stroking her back. She let out a contented sigh. Nyk smoothed her hair. He felt her arms and legs twitch as she drowsed. Her lips parted and she began to breathe regularly through her nose and mouth. Her body relaxed.

“I love you Suki,” he whispered, knowing she wouldn't hear. “I've loved you since the moment I saw you.”

Christmas morning's daylight awoke Nyk. He was alone on Suki's bed. She walked in wearing running shorts, tank top and a towel around her hair. “If you'd like to take a shower, there's a towel for you.”

Nyk showered and dressed in the same clothes he slept in. “I'd have brought a change of clothes if I had known.” He looked out the window. “Snow!” He had only seen snow from a distance, high on the slopes of the mons. Outside her apartment large, fluffy snowflakes were falling.

“Let's go out in it!” Suki grabbed her keys and he followed her outside. She stretched out her arms and turned her face to the sky. She held up one leg and then the other.

“Aren't you cold?” he asked.

“The air's not that cold. It feels good. I love feeling the flakes melt against my skin.” She ran around like a child with her arms outstretched. Then she said, “I'm starting to get a chill. Let's go inside.”

Nyk followed her into the apartment. He folded his arms and shivered. “I'd rather be in here than out there.”

“I'd like to tell you something about myself,” she said. “I hope it won't bother you.”

“I can't imagine you saying anything that would.”

“When I was a teenager, I had a friend who lived out in the country. Once, I was staying at her house. Her parents had left us alone.

“It started snowing and we both ran outside. I told her I liked feeling the flakes on my skin. I took off my blouse and she did the same. We both took off all our clothes. We ran around, naked, in the snow for several minutes.” She looked into his eyes. “Then, we went inside and made love. That's how I discovered I was a lesbian.”

“That event doesn't make you a lesbian, does it?”

“It wasn't just one event. I had several girl lovers in high school and in college. I've struggled with who I am ever since I remember. I knew I was ... different, and I never fit in. I've tried relationships with men. I've never felt the least bit of attraction toward a man. I find men repulsive.” She looked down. “Present company excepted, of course.”

Suki stood at the window. Nyk stood behind her and watched the falling snow. “When I was in graduate school, my thesis advisor kept trying to fix me up on dates. 'All work and no play makes Jane a dull girl,' he'd say. I always refused. He used to call me 'Sushi Kyhana, my little Japanese cold fish.' I never told him why.”

“Suki, your preferences make no difference to how I feel toward you. You must be true to yourself. It would be a terrible mistake to deny or to ignore what makes you ... you.”

She looked into his eyes. “Oh, Nick -- do you know how much it means to me to hear you say that?”

Nyk opened his arms and she fell into them. “I can feel it -- I feel your uncompromising acceptance of who I am. I wonder why my own father can't accept me and why a complete stranger can.”

“You have difficulties with your father.”

She nodded. “I was a big disappointment to him. He never accepted my gayness and he didn't approve when I became a history major. He said there wasn't a future in it.” She giggled. “I suppose he's right.”

Nyk shook his head. “He's wrong -- history and the future are one and the same.” He caressed the back of her head. “You and I have something in common. I was a disappointment to my father, too.”

“Really?”

“Yes, really. He wanted me to follow in his footsteps. I had no interest. I do understand how you feel.”

She slipped her arms around his waist. “This feels so good, Nick. The pain goes away when you hold me.”

He put his lips to the top of her head and inhaled. “I'll wager,” he said, “your father isn't as disappointed as you believe.”

“You're so sweet ... and, so ... different. I've never met anyone quite like you. You have a softness -- a femininity I find very appealing, and I mean that as a compliment.”

“I'll accept it as a compliment,” he replied.

“You know, Nick ... I'm beginning to think ... I might want to try a physical relationship with you. That is ... if you'd want it.”

“We mustn't, Suki. That is something we must not do.”

“Nick, your wife has hardly been faithful to you, from what you've told me, at least. You said what two people do by themselves is their business.”

“That's not the reason.”

“Well ... okay...” She released him from her embrace. “It's funny ... for years men have been hitting on me and I'd tell them to get lost. Now, I finally work up the nerve to ask the first guy I've ever responded to ... and he shoots me down.” She turned from him.

“Suki, I'm sorry ... oh, Suki, if things were different, I'd say yes in an eyeblink. I wish I could explain.”

“It's okay, Nick -- really.” She faced him and brushed a lock of hair from his forehead. “You're right -- it's probably better this way. We agreed to be friends, and friends we are.” She took his hand. “I'm going to finish making Christmas dinner. You can help me, if you'd like. I like help in the kitchen.”

“I'm afraid I'd be no help at all, but I'd be happy to watch and keep you company.”

“I'm making a southern Indian meal. It's not a traditional Christmas dinner, but I think you'll enjoy it. I'm sorry it's not a hundred percent authentic. A southern meal should be served on a banana leaf, and it's a bad time of year for banana leaves.”

Nyk watched as she cut up ingredients and finished putting together their meal. “It's hard for me to believe those light, lacy pancakes started out as beans and rice. I