Secret War: Warhammer 40,000 - Ben Agar (novels in english .txt) 📗

guard by this outburst.

"Is it because she's better than me, is that it?" my mother demanded. "Is she a better mother than me?

"No."

"Well, you need to remember Attelus! I gave birth to you! I was the one who raised you, looked after you even after your father left us to go kill people!"

"Raised me?" I laughed with such contempt; it even surprised me. "Raised me? Who the hell are you kidding! No, you were too frigging busy getting high to look after me! To busy escaping with the damn Obscura!"

"You have no idea what I was going through!" she screamed back. "You don't understand I needed it. I was in pain because they were always attacking me!"

I sneered. "What is the frigging daemons again? Is that it, mum? So what next? Will the Emperor himself ride down on a great gold chariot to take you as his bride now? Is that it?"

"DON'T YOU DARE!" she roared with such fury it almost caught me off guard. "Don't, you, DARE! take, His, name in VANE!"

"The Emperor was real, Mum. I have no qualms with that, and he was a great man," I said, shaking my head. "But I can't believe him to be a god! How can he have let all this pain and suffering happen? All the injustice? All the death!"

"Oh, he will, but you will not see His glory! You will not be worthy!"

"The hell am I not worthy!" I snarled. "Just because I don't follow the teachings of the Ministorum blindly? But otherwise, I'm not an evil person! I follow the laws; I've never killed anyone! I want to be a historian, mum! I will contribute to Imperial society far more than you ever have! So unlike you, I am actually worthy! But it will never happen!"

"How do you know!" she roared. "How do you know!"

"Because I live in the real world, mum!"

She shook her head. "How old are you? You are sixteen! You haven't even lived half as long as I have! You haven't seen nearly enough yet to claim that you live "in the real world"."

"Well, dad is older than you and holds this same belief!" I said.

"Don't get me started on your father," she growled.

I shrugged, turned and went to collect my towel. "Alright, whatever," I sighed. "Now I'm going for a shower."

"Stop right there, Attelus Xanthis Kaltos," she said with such force I did. "You still didn't answer my question; why did you replace me?"

"Not this again, mum," I groaned.

"Yes, this again, son!" she snarled. "Now tell me!"

I sighed. "It's because mum, it's because you're dead."

Her eyes widened. "What?"

"You're dead, mum. I don't know how or when you died, but I know that you're dead; I needed help after the war; I was a street urchin, so I turned to Glaitis," I sighed. "I never meant to replace you, mum. In all honesty, it was really an alliance of convenience..."

I trailed off in my sentence and said instead. "But there is no such thing as coincidence."

"I'm dead?" My mother said. "Why?"

"I'm sorry, mum," I sighed sadly. "But that is the way the universe works, but I have to say before I go, I love you, and I miss you I really, really do I wish oh how I wish everything could be different, that the war never happened, that dad never left us."

"I love you too, son," she said, and tears began to well in her eyes.

Again I hugged her. "I love you more, mum, and don't worry, Glaitis could never replace you, never. Now I've really got to go."

"Where are you going, son?"

"I'm going to wake up now, mum; this is just a dream."

"Oh," she said, "goodbye then, my son."

"Goodbye. My Mum."

 

 

My eyes slowly opened, my vision blurry as I immediately fought to keep my eyes open; this was followed quickly by the dull throbbing ache of my face, which confirmed that I was back in reality.

With a groan, I rolled over and lost the fight, my eyes seemingly just slamming shut and then came the sudden rush as deep sleep took over.

But something even stronger, sudden, a horrific sickness hit me. My eyes snapped back open and causing me to throw myself bodily from the bed and sprint through the door into the bathroom beyond. I stumbled over to the toilet and vomited into the bowl, three times in total, mewling pathetically in between each.

After a few minutes more of moaning, I finally managed to get up from my knees slowly; I approached the sink and ran the tap.

My face hurt like hell but by far worse was the sickening agony in my groin.

Splashing water over my face and looked at myself in the mirror, many had said during my life that I was quite handsome, and I guess it was true, but in all honesty, I never actually thought about it; I was just me. But now I was as ugly as all frig.

I scooped up more water and rinsed my beaten face again, actively avoiding my reflection now and savouring the sting as the water went into the many cuts on my face, which allowed me to forget the pain in my groin briefly.

The adrenaline had carried me on in the fight with the Thing; it had allowed me to carry on. Now it was gone, and here I was dealing with the damn consequences.

I shut off the water flow and walked out the door, feeling the fatigue weigh heavily on my eyelids.

Immediately my eyes snapped wide awake, and my hand shot straight to my sword as I saw a completely conscious Karmen Kons in the doorway.

We stood for a few seconds staring at each other, her attractive face in an expression of extreme confusion.

I internally cursed my utter idiocy, realising I had forgotten to close her cell.

Kons tilted her head slightly. "Attelus?"

Her word broke me from my frozen state, and without hesitation, I moved, making the distance between us in a millisecond with my sword suddenly held at her throat.

"Karmen Kons, I assume," I said.

She looked at me sidelong with wide eyes I could tell her face was one not used to expressing surprise.

"How-how are you? You? Why are you?"

I furrowed my brow in bemusement, ignoring the pain as I did. Then it hit me, she must have seen the unconscious Thing that looked like me in its cell, and now here I was. Damn, that would confuse anyone.

"I...uhhh, uhmm," I muttered, unsure what to say or do, but I could tell she would break from her confusion soon, so if I were to do anything, now would be the time to do it.

My first instinct was to slit her throat; she was a psyker, so, like all her kind, infinitely dangerous, I was fortunate to have this window of opportunity at all, but something made me hold back.

"I am Attelus Kaltos," I said hesitantly, searching to find what to say next. "I uhhh."

"Well, if you are, indeed, Attelus Kaltos," she said, her confused stare suddenly turning into a terrifying glare, and I knew that the window was now well and truly closed. "would you tell me how the hell you are in two places at once?"

Kons then looked contemptuously down to my sword. "And lower that before I make you lower it."

Slowly, I did as told.

"Oh, and by the way, it's nice to meet you face to face, Attelus Kaltos finally," she said lightly. "Even if you are a bit worse for wear."

My jaw twitched. "Well, I'm sure that you have delved enough into my mind to know almost all there is to know about me."

She sniggered slightly, now I could tell this woman was confident and used to be in control, and now, she was indeed in control. She seemed to ooze sensuality from her every pore, despite being malnourished and messy.

"Well, yes," she said. "But it is always nice to finally having a...face to the mind, you could say."

She suddenly reached out to place her hand on my cheek, the move so out of the blue it made me flinch away in fright.

"No need to be afraid," she said, moving her hand to compensate. "I see that you really took a beating, didn't you? Who did this to you?"

"Why don't you just read my mind to find out?" I asked sullenly.

Kons shrugged. "Oh, I would but am incapable of doing so."

"What?"

She pouted her lips and an expression of mock bemusement. "Yeah, it would seem that someone or...Something has placed a strong psychic block on your mind, a mighty one, indeed."

I frowned, noting her use of 'something' in conjunction with 'someone.'

I was finding it very to keep hating her; it wasn't because she was a psyker. I had no time for such idiotic discrimination; it was what she had done; so liberally and unethically delved into the minds of people daily for a paranoid tyrant this didn't fit well with me at all.

But I couldn't keep it up; there was something about her, but I couldn't quite put the finger on, perhaps it was her confidence or her being very attractive or perhaps even using a mind trick, but in all honesty, I didn't care.

Kons smiled pleasantly, retrieving her hand, "come, Attelus, go sit on and the bed, and I will help you with your wounds, and you can explain to me everything that has happened."

With that, she turned to walk toward the living area, but my words made her stop in her tracks.

"If you saw what you thought was me in that cell, you must have seen Taryst in his too?"

Karmen Kons kept her back to me. "Yes, I did."

"So?"

"So...what?"

"Well, don't you care?"

"No, not particularly," she said simply and finally looking over her shoulder at me. "He was my employer, and he paid me well but, I never cared that much for him that much; I could see that his paranoia would be the end of him sooner or later and am I right to assume that it was?"

"Oh, you have no idea," I said darkly.

"Well, then tell me while I help you."

I smiled. "I have a better idea."

"Oh? And could you please elaborate for me, Attelus?"

I felt my face flush at her flirtatious tone but doubted it was noticeable from under the intense bruising.

"An exchange of knowledge. I will tell you what I know only if you tell me what you do. You apparently hold no true liking for Taryst, and now he's dead; I can't see why you wouldn't want to divulge his secrets and then..."

"And then...?" she said.

"I propose an alliance, you and I, together."

She grinned. "Why, you really do have a gift for redundancy, don't you, Attelus."

"I am actually the head of the department of redundancy department if you really must know."

She sniggered again, shaking her head. "Sure, sure I'll tell you what I know if you tell me, but I can't guarantee that there will be an alliance."

"Oh, once you hear what I have to say, you will be very interested in this alliance. That I guarantee," I replied.

Karmen Kons smiled an amused smile. "Really? I'm sure you have your reasons for such confidence."

"Shake on it?" I said, my face darkening.

"Sure," and we did.

Karmen then turned away and walked into the bathroom while I went and sat on the side of the bed.

She came back out, holding a medical kit, dropped to her knees and began to take out its contents.

"I uh, I uhh," I managed.

"You uhh what?" she asked.

"I had a dream, and you were in it," I blurted out.

She briefly looked up at me, then shrugged and went back to sort out the box.

"It's not surprising, Attelus; I have been in your mind more than once; it would only make sense that my intrusions would resonate in your dreams."

"If you uhh have been in my mind so often, what did you find?" I asked.

Kons sighed and began to lightly dab my face with a wet cotton bud which made me clench my teeth slightly at the pain. "You are maybe