Secret War: Warhammer 40,000 - Ben Agar (novels in english .txt) 📗

even better than Faleaseen. He was a psyker even though, apparently not being one before. Perhaps, he's using those souls he's collecting to make himself a psyker? That, along with what Feuilt claimed, making pacts with the ruinous powers?

Either that or he was just an amazing planner, but that I genuinely doubted, to outmanoeuvre an Eldar Farseer, to be able to pull through such a convoluted scheme would need some farsight. It'd be impossible otherwise.

My stomach growled again, making me groan. I needed food and caffeine, badly but I couldn't bring myself to leave Karmen.

"Attelus?" came a small voice down the corridor, causing my attention to suddenly snap to its source, a young, pretty and freckled redhead girl stood looking at me curiously. She carried under her arm a folder of letters. I recognised her as one of the many many mail delivery attendants who regularly worked throughout the building. I'd talked to her a few times before but couldn't recall her name now.

She began to approach her large, blue eyes full of concern. "Are you okay, Attelus?" she stammered. "What's going on? I saw all the gurneys being wheeled here. I don't understand."

I stared at her, unsure how the hell to respond; my mind reeled through many different potential answers, whether to lie or tell the truth. In the end, I decided on saying—something I'd rarely admitted to many.

"I uh I'm sorry, but I uh have forgotten your name, I'm sorry."

She smiled with her full lips. "My name is Adelana."

"I'm sorry, Adelana," I stammered while shaking away the tiredness. "I just have a terrible memory for names, never been good at that."

Adelana shrugged. "It's no problem; I forget things all the time too."

"Well, you remembered my name," I pointed out.

She smiled again and tapped her head. "But it's my job to remember names."

I frowned and eyed her suspiciously, that may be true, but I knew I'd never got any mail before; she wouldn't have had to learn my name, not ever.

"Mind if I sit?" she asked.

"No! No, of course, I don't!" I said.

She sat down next to me; it was then I realised she was gorgeous. Why hadn't I remembered her? Well, with all the attractive girls working here, it seemed hard to tell one from another.

"You look terrible," she said bluntly.

It was my turn to smile, and I rubbed my eyes. "Yeah, I could imagine. I'm tired, really, really frigging tired."

"I can see, and I see you've been through some rough times."

I sniggered. "Yeah, you could say that. I've been through a lot. You alright? You sure you should be sitting here talking like this?"

She grinned. "Let's just say I'm on my break, an unofficial break, so no and yes."

Sniggering again, I shook my head; I was really beginning to like her.

"Hey, Adelana, can I. Can I ask you a personal question?"

A look of bemusement crossed her face. "Uhh, sure, okay."

"You don't smoke, do you? I could really use a smoke of Lho right now."

"No, no, I don't," she said, smiling slightly and shaking her head. "I didn't know you smoked, Attelus."

"I do," I said. "I really do, like a frigging chimney. Adelana, do you...Do you know what I do for a living?"

"No," she said. "But I can guess, you always walk around with that armoured jacket on and have that sword; you're some type of mercenary? Like others here hired by Taryst. Am I correct?"

"Yeah, yeah, you are," I said, and I couldn't help wonder what she'd think of me if she knew the truth. Of all the people I've killed, of all my manipulations and...

I raised my eyebrow as a thought hit me. Adelana must've known about what I did to Vex, yet here she was still sitting talking to me, utterly unafraid.

"Well, I've better get going," said Adelana as she suddenly got to her feet. "My 'break' is about to end soon."

Without thinking, my hand suddenly shot out and grabbed her by the sleeve.

"Attelus?" She stammered.

"Thank you," I said, "and I'm sorry."

"Sorry? Sorry for what?"

"I'm sorry I can't tell you more, and thank you, thank you for sitting here and talking to me despite what I did."

She shrugged. "It's okay; I thought you looked like you needed someone to talk to; everyone needs that, despite everything."

I smiled. "Can I walk with you?"

"Yeah, sure, just please don't get angry and strangle me."

My heart sank as a sudden shock of pain shivered through me, and I snatched back my hand.

"I-I wouldn't..."

"That's a joke; let's go. I've got to get back soon."

I dumbly nodded and slowly pulled myself to my feet.

She was only half-joking; she must've said it to gauge my reaction. She must've.

We began to walk, our footsteps echoing down the corridor.

"Where do you want to go?" she asked.

"Uhh, to the cafeteria, I need food," I slurred.

"Well, I'll take you there, it's a bit of a delay, but I don't mind."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah, don't worry about me."

"I won't strangle you. I swear, I wouldn't."

"I know."

I looked back at the doors; whatever happens to Karmen will happen with or without me waiting in the corridor. I just hoped she'd be okay.

"Whatever happens, happens," I said.

 

Chapter 18

As we walked, we talked more, and she told me much about herself. She was from south Omnartus in the middle-level hive. Her mother was an administratum clerk, and her father ran an old clothing store on the upper level. She hadn't seen them for six months as she'd moved north to study for a position in the Magistratum. I wanted to say: "well, there's a whole lot of openings for you now," but refrained, barely. She was working part-time here to pay for her survival. She was only nineteen but was in her second to last year of study. She was so intelligent yet humble. She said she was worried she'd fail her next test, but from her track record, I doubted that.

She seemed normal, nice and almost...innocent. She had no idea about the real world, and I couldn't help but envy her ignorance. The more she talked, despite myself, the more I found myself getting angrier and angrier. I struggled to fight it, my jaw clenched, my hands clasped behind my back, and I gripped so hard I could swear it was cutting off the circulation. I wanted to tell her everything, of all the people I'd brutally murdered, of the warp and the secrets behind this organisation. To destroy her innocence, to make her a shell of herself, just like me. She wouldn't believe me at first, no, but I'd make her believe.

All her problems were so pathetic and minor; she'd deserve it. Make her see what real problems were.

But I didn't, despite really, really, wanting to. Frig, it was hard, so so hard.

Eventually, we arrived at the entrance to the cafeteria.

"Well, here we are," she said. "I've better head back; I'm already late as it is. It's nice talking to you, Attelus."

"Yes, it was nice," I managed.

"Are you okay?" she asked, sounding genuinely concerned.

"I'm...fine."

"Uh, huh! You're weird, Attelus. You know that, right? See you later," she said with a shrug, and she turned to walk away.

"Wait," I exclaimed, causing her to stop and turn back to me.

"Yes?"

"I just wanted to say," I clenched my jaw and fists even harder. "I just wanted to say..."

"What?" she was looking at me with an expression that could've been confusion, fear or both. It made me want to tell her all the more.

"Thank you," I finally stammered.

"It's okay, talk later," she said, then left.

I watched her go; she did have quite a nice arse.

I couldn't help but wonder; after all I've been through, would I ever be able to have anything in common and sympathise with anyone 'normal' ever again?

I didn't know, in all honesty, and didn't know if I even cared. She seemed like a caring person. Of course, that could all be crap; the last person I thought was good and caring turned out to be a psychotic traitor working for the enemy.

If it wasn't for what I did, the hell I just went through, she'd most likely be dead now, along with everyone else. Unknowingly I'd protected her, this sweet girl who sure as hell didn't deserve to be eviscerated by a daemon. If there were even one more person like her in this galaxy, perhaps it would all be worth it.

"I'll keep doing this," I sighed. "For you, Adelana. People like you deserve to live and make what I go through worth it. I thank you, yet again."

I slipped into the cafeteria, ignoring the looks of two bewildered employees who were then exiting.

If they were so weirded out by someone talking to himself, they really needed to get out more.

 

 

After gathering my food, corned beef with mashed potatoes and peas, I sat alone and tore it apart, eating almost as ravenously as Karmen had earlier. I tried to slow myself but couldn't find the strength to do it.

I didn't stop even after I caught two people approaching me in the corner of my eye.

"Here you go, kid," said Garrakson as he and Torris sat across from me, and he placed a pack of Lhos on the table. "You more than deserve these."

I couldn't reply; I still had a mouthful of food.

"Hungry, are we?" said Torris. "How's the food?"

"As average as always," I said after swallowing. "It's...it's nice to see you two managed to make it."

They shared a glance.

"Thanks in no small part to you, Attelus," said Torris. "We're just surprised you're already up and about."

"Well, I'm just full of surprises," I said. "You should know that by now."

"Always so humble," said Garrakson while rolling his eyes.

"Why, thank you," I said before chewing into another mouthful. "It's good to hear you think so. Anyway, you guys know of Adelana? The redhead who works in the mail delivery centre?"

Torris' large eyes widened, and he raised an eyebrow. "No, I've never heard of Adelana, the redhead who works in the mail delivery centre. Have you, Garrakson?"

"Nope, I haven't either, Torris; in fact, I've never heard of anyone who works here with the name 'Adelana' before. Never had I even seen her name on our records."

"Really," I said with a furrowed brow. "Is this the best you two can come up with?"

"No, I mean it," said Garrakson. "This isn't a joke, I swear. There was never anyone under our employ named Adelana."

"I'm not in the mood, guys," I growled.

Torris and Garrakson shared another glance.

"Alright, alright, we'll stop, sorry," said Garrakson. "Why are you asking about her?"

"I uh well we, uhh."

"Anyway, the redhead, Adelana?" said Torris. "Her now? What about Karmen? Aren't you and her in a thing already? Attelus you womaniser, you. Soon ol' Olinthre will have competition in the girl getting department."

I felt my face flush red.

Garrakson grinned. "Attelus, Karmen would be the very, very, very worst person to cheat on."

"Y'know, her being a psyker and all," added Torris.

"You two seriously think I'm that stupid?" I said. "Anyway, Karmen and I are hardly in a 'thing."

"Not in a thing? Really?" said Torris. "We all saw you kiss before, which got us wondering."

I furrowed my brow and clenched my jaw, not liking where this was going.

"Yeah, it has," said Garrakson. "For all, we know it should have been only