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looked at her funny.
“I thought you were allergic to dogs,” he reminded her. She smiled sweetly.
“I meant if I could have dogs, I’d prefer a smaller dog, sweetie,” she covered up quickly. He nodded and went back to his old dog on TV thinking maybe if he kept Gertie in the garage he could have her but that wouldn’t be fair to the dog, that would be like prison to the gentle Gertie who wouldn’t understand why she couldn’t come into the house and be with him. He sighed and stared at the TV.
“Now for this first part of the cave, we have to be really quiet and not scare the bats, right, guys,” Harry said to the dogs who grinned at him. Everyone laughed.
“Those dogs look like they understand him,” Linda said. Max laughed.
“They probably do after a hundred years,” he remarked and all the people with dogs agreed. They all gasped at the shot of the bats hanging overhead.
“Those things look nasty,” Myra said making a face.
“They smell nasty too, they have the worse smelling shit,” Jake informed them and all the girls giggled.
“Now here we are at the entrance to the Crystal Caves and be prepared to be dazzled, let me put the wide angle lens on the camera, this is all going to be very exciting,” Harry informed them. Then he led the way into the cave and everyone gasped.
“Holy crap,” Max exclaimed and he spoke for all of them.
“Look at all that purple crystal, there’s enough to last for a million years,” Dr. Blake declared. Harry panned the camera all around so they could see all four walls and the ceiling.
“Here’s where I drilled the four crystals for the communication towers, as you can see, there’s plenty of black left, there’s plenty of everything left,” Harry told them with a big grin. Then he led them down the corridor to the next cavern and they all gasped again.
“This one is bigger than the first cave and here there’s this little hole that leads down to a third and even larger cave but we won’t be going down there tonight because there’s not enough of us to risk the trip,” Harry informed them. They all sighed with disappointment. Then he aimed the camera on the largest rose crystal they had even seen.
“My God, look at the size of that one,” Charles exclaimed. Harry grinned for the camera.
“I thought I’d drill this beauty out for you so you could see how it was done, if you’d like to see that why don’t you call me on my cell phone right now and if I get two out of three callers saying they like to see this, I’ll cut this beauty out right now,” he told them. His phone rang immediately.
“Hello this is Harry, well, hello, Carl, you’d like to see me cut this out right now, thanks for calling,” he said cheerfully and hung up. He looked at the camera and grinned.
“Well, that’s one vote for drilling,” Harry said and his phone rang. “Hello, hey, Mom,” he looked at the camera. “It’s my mom Kate and she doesn’t sound too happy.” He made a face and everyone laughed. “What’s that, you say you don’t want me to cut this stone out, you say that’s grandstanding and I’d look foolish and silly, thanks for calling,” he said cheerfully and hung up. He grinned at the camera.
“She’s a nice lady but she loves to lecture, comes from all those years of teaching,” he said in a whisper like he wasn’t talking to of thousands of people. Everyone laughed. “Now that’s one for and one against, so this next call should be the deciding call, let’s take this next call. Hello, this is Harry,” He listened for a second and hung up quickly.
“That was one of those annoying prank callers, probably an obscene caller; you don’t want to get those kinds,” he remarked and laughed. Violet looked at her phone and looked shocked.
“That little bastard just hung up on me, live on the air,” she sputtered. Everyone laughed. She threw the phone across the room. Harry picked up his phone again.
“Hello, this is Harry, hey, hi, Sarek, so nice to hear from you old friend, what’s that, you want to see me drill this beauty out, say no more, just for you and old Carl, I’ll do just that,” he declared and hung up the phone. He grinned at the camera.
“Well, there you have it. Two out of three calls and they all want me to cut this baby out of the wall, it looks like a big one, this has got to be at least six or seven thousand carets or more, I could sit on this one,” he said cheerfully and went on to describe how he was going to cut it out and then proceeded to do so.
“Wow, I wish I was there,” David sighed and he leaned forward. Everyone leaned forward and the camera angles showed every little detail of the job so they missed nothing. And when the huge stone was finally out, it was enormous and Harry had to use his powers to lift it in his arms. It was the largest stone any of them had every seen. He could have sat on it and it was the most beautiful one any of them had every seen, perfectly shaped and curved. Harry grinned as he held the waist high crystal to his body.
“This is really fantastic, I think I’ll keep this one for my living room or maybe build a museum for it, I’ve never seen a crystal this big but maybe there’s another in these caves as large or larger, wouldn’t that be neat. So this is goodbye from the Crystal Caves, I’m Harry and here’s Bo and Gertie, say goodbye, Gertie,” he said and Gertie jumped up on the crystal and looking straight at the camera, barked. Bo just jumped up and looked like he was grinning. Jake laughed.
“Those two are just ham bones, did you see them smiling at the camera,” he declared and all the men laughed. The women were still in shock over the size of the crystal.
“Did you see the size of that thing, it must be worth millions,” June gushed. Dr. Blake nodded.
“I saw one half that size at the museum in Memphis City and it was worth five million, that one would be worth six times that,” he gushed. Charles whistled.
“Can you imagine finding a purple one that size; now that would be worth billions,” he declared. Myra smiled.
“I heard that Harry had promised to take everyone on a tour to his caves like he did the guys who worked on the towers and I just bet he’ll let everyone drill a crystal out like they did,” she said smugly. They all looked at Jake who nodded.
“Harry would do that sort of thing, he’s very generous,” he agreed. They all grinned. Violet smiled and hugged her husband.
“You’ll find me a big crystal like that one won’t you, sweetie?” she pleaded nicely. Jake grinned and hugged her.
“I’ll look until I find one, sugar,” he promised and she squealed.
Harry came back from the caves in time for the harvest and everyone worked hard to pick all the vegetables and fruits and process them. He ran all the wheat through and stacked it in his new basement and made juice like he always did skipping the junpar and apple juice that Jake loved so much, it just reminded him that Jake was gone and he really didn’t need any more reminders.
He did have extra cranberry because Jake hadn’t cared for that as much so he mixed that with the junpar and that was good, he liked that a lot. And he had his extra fields of barley and corn to make his whiskey and vodka so that kept him busy for a while. Adam who had taken over the liquor store helped him and they had a lot of fun making whiskey, scotch, rum, tequila and gin and storing them in the barn the kids had built long ago and taking the stuff out of there that had aged properly. They did this frequently so that Adam never ran out of liquor to sell. The alterian booze wasn’t the same fine quality as the human kind and while it was adequate, the humans all preferred the taste of their own stuff.
Adam made it a point not to sell his liquor to the alterians which pissed them off, but he didn’t have enough to supply booze for over thirty thousand adult alterians. Some of the humans gave human liquor to their Alterian friends as gifts which was always welcomed since it was stronger and more potent than theirs. David Marshall had run out of liquor years ago and tried to make some to sell but it had tasted awful so he was forced out of business and blamed Harry and his sons for not sharing theirs. This was ridiculous and no one made him any attention.
After all of the winter preparation work was done Harry began taking people to the caves. He started with the people on his farm and took them one day in October. His moms were very excited and he had told everyone to bring their laser knives with them and a back pack to bring home their samples. This had made them all extremely joyous.
“This is so exciting, Henry, I’ve never drilled for crystal before,” his mother Barb gushed as they stood outside the entrance to the caves. He grinned at her and hugged her.
“Okay, listen up everyone, these bats will attack if you shine your lights on them, so please keep your flashlights aimed at the floors, you don’t want them flying on you and shitting on you,” he called out and his mother Kate frowned.
“Must you use such common language, Henry, please, there are ladies present,” she admonished him. He grinned.
“Okay, Mother,” he said and turned to the crowd. “You don’t want these bats using the potty on your head,” he said and they all laughed. She giggled.
“That’s much better,” she said and they entered the dark cave. Everyone held their noses.
“What is that smell?” Joy asked. Harry looked back and grinned.
“That’s bat poop,” he informed her and she wrinkled her nose.
“You can say bat shit, I’m not your mother,” she told him and he laughed softly. Then they entered the first cave and everyone gasped with awe and wonder.
“Oh, my goodness,” Kate exclaimed. Barb giggled.
“Don’t you mean; Holy crap, dear,” she said and everyone laughed. Kate stuck her tongue out at her partner and they kissed.
“This is fantastic, Harry, leave it up to you to find us a crystal cave,” Jan said with admiration. Harry smiled and she hugged him.
“Good thing you didn’t find this while you were still married to that man, then he would have gotten half of it when he divorced you,” Kate told him and he nodded.
“You’re right, Mom, Violet would have loved that,” he said and they all agreed on that. He showed them down the corridor and the other cave and they all got to cut out their own stone to take home.
Next he brought the people of Farm Two and Three together and then the kids of Farm Five and then the
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