The Foundations of Personality - Abraham Myerson (best large ereader .txt) 📗
- Author: Abraham Myerson
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they received the honors. L. was deeply offended at this and
claimed to his own friends that the professors were down on him,
especially a certain professor of medicine, who, so L. intimated,
was afraid that L.‘s theories would displace his own and so was
interested to keep him down. This feeling was intensified when he
came up for the examinations to a certain famous hospital and was
turned down. The real reason for this failure was his
unpopularity with his fellow students, for they let it be known
to the examiners that L. would undoubtedly be hard to get along
with, and it was part of the policy of the hospital to consider
the personality of an applicant as well as his ability.
L. obtained a hospital place in a small city and did very good
work, and though his peculiarities were noticed they excited only
a hidden current of amused criticism, while his abilities aroused
a good deal of praise. Stimulated by this, he started practice in
the same city as a surgeon and quickly rose to the leading
position. His indefatigable industry, his absolute self-confidence and his skill gave him prestige almost at once. His
conceit rose to the highest degree, and his mannerisms commenced
to become offensive to others. He came into collision with the
local medical society because he openly criticized the older men
in practice as “ignoramuses, asses, charlatans, etc.,” and indeed
was sued by one of them in the courts. The suit was won by the
plaintiff, the award was five thousand dollars and L. entered an
appeal.
From this on his career turned. In order to contest the case, and
because he began to believe that the courts and lawyers were in
league against him, he studied law and was admitted to the bar.
He had meanwhile married a rich woman who was wholly taken in by
his keen logical exposition of his “wrongs,” his imposing manner
of speech and action; and perhaps she really fell in love with
the able, aggressive and handsome man. She financed his law
school studies, for it was necessary for him to give up most of
his practice meanwhile.
As soon as he could appear before the Bar he did so in his own
behalf, for this case had now reached the proportions where it
had spread out into half a dozen cases. He refused to pay his
lawyers, and they sued. One of them dropped the statement that L.
was “crazy,” and he brought a suit against the lawyer. Moreover,
he began to believe, because of the adverse judgments, that the
courts were against him, and he wrote article after article in
the radical journals on the corruptness of the courts and entered
a strenuous campaign to provide for the public election and
recall of judges.
These activities brought him in close relations with a group of
unbalanced people operating under the high-sounding name League
of Freedom. These people, led by a man, J., eagerly welcomed L.,
largely because his wife was still financing his ventures. Here
comes a curious fact, and one prominent in the history of man,
for this group, led by two unbalanced men, actually engineered a
real reform, for they brought about a codification of the laws of
their State, a simple codification that made it possible to know
what the laws on any matter really are. This may be stated: the
average balanced person is apt to weigh consequences to himself,
but the paranoid does not; and so, when accident or
circumstances[1] enlist him in a good cause, he is a fighter
without fear and is enormously valuable.
[1] See Lombroso’s “Man of Genius” for many such cases.
This success brought L.‘s paranoia to the pinnacle of unreason.
He attacked the courts boldly, openly and publicly accused the
judges of corruption, said they were in conspiracy with the Bar
and the medical societies to do him up, added to this list of his
enemies the Irish and the Catholic Church, because the
prosecuting attorney in one county and the judge in that court
were Irish and Catholic, and then turned against his wife because
she now began to doubt his sanity. He brought suits in every
superior court in the State, and at the time he was committed to
an Insane Hospital he had forty trials on, had innumerable
manuscripts of his contemplated reforms, in which were included
the doing away with Insane Hospitals, the examination of all
persons in the State for venereal disease and their cure by a new
remedy of his own, the reform of the judiciary, etc., etc. He
accused his wife of infidelity, felt that he was being followed
by spies and police, claimed that dictagraphs were installed
everywhere to spy on him and had a classical delusional state. He
was committed, but later he escaped from the hospital and is now
at large. The State officials are making no effort to find him,
mainly because they are glad to get rid of him.
While the cases like L. are not common, the “mildly” paranoid
personality is common. Everywhere one finds the man or woman
whose abilities are not recognized, who is discriminated against,
who finds an enemy in every one who does not kotow and who
interprets as hostile every action not directly conciliating or
friendly. In every group of people there is one whose paranoid
temperament must be reckoned with, who is distrustful, conceited
and disruptive. Often they are high-minded, perhaps devoted to an
ideal, and if they convince others of their wrongs they increase
the social disharmonies by creating new social wars, large or
small according to their influence, intelligence and other
circumstances.
The type of the trusting need not be here illustrated by any case
history. Dickens has given us an immortal figure in the genial,
generous and impulsive Mr. Pickwick, and Cervantes satirized
knighthood by depicting the trusting, credulous Don Quixote. We
laugh at these figures, but we love them; they preserve for us
the sweetness of childhood and hurt only themselves and their
own. Trust in one’s fellows is not common, because the world is
organized on egoism more than on fellowship. Where fellowship
becomes a code, as in the relations of men associated together
for some great purpose, then a noble trust appears.
So I pass over those whose mood runs all one way the hopeful, the
despondent, the pessimist and the optimist—to other types. We
shall then consider the two great directions of interest,
introspection and extrospection, and those whose lives are
characterized by one or the other direction.
1. The introspective personality is no more of a unit than any
other type. Intelligence, energy and a host of other matters play
their part in the sum total of the character here as elsewhere.
H. I. is what might be called the intellectual introspective
personality. From the very earliest days he became interested in
himself as a thinker. “How do my words mean anything?” he asked
of his perplexed father at the investigative age of five. “Where
do my thoughts go to when I do not think them?” was the problem
he floored a learned uncle with a year later. This type of
curiosity is not uncommon in children; in fact, it is the
conventionality and laziness of the elders that stops children in
their study of the fundamentals. H. was not stopped, for the zeal
of his interest was heightened as time went on.
He played with other boys but early found their conclusions and
discussions primitive. He became an ardent bookworm, reading
incessantly or rather at such times when his parents permitted,
for they were simple folk who were rather alarmed at their boy’s
interests and zeal. No noticeable difference from other boys was
noted aside from precocity in study, yet even at the age of ten
life was running in two great currents for this boy. The one
current was the outer world with its ever varied happenings, the
other was the inner world of thoughts and moods, deeply,
fascinatingly interesting. It seemed to H. I. that there were
“two I’s, one of which sat just over my head and looking down on
the other I, watching its strivings, its emotions, its thoughts
with a detached and yet palpitating interest. When I watched the
other boys at play I wondered whether they too had this dual
existence, whether they chewed the cud of life over and over
again as I did.”
Came puberty with the great sex passions. The vibrating life
within him suddenly became tinged with new interests. One day at
a party a vixen of a girl threw herself boldly in his arms and
tried to push him into a chair. The bodily contact and the swift
bodily reaction threw him into a panic, for the passion that was
aroused was so powerful that he seemed to himself stripped of all
thought and reflection and impelled to actions against which he
rebelled. For he was fully acquainted, at second hand, with sex;
he knew boys and girls who had made excursions into its most
intimate practices and despised them.
This episode gave his introspective trends a new direction. From
now on sex was the theme his fancy embroidered. Curiously enough,
he became more austere than ever, shunned girls and especially
the heroine of his adventure, and even avoided the company of
boys who spoke habitually and “vulgarly” of sex. His mind built
up sex phantasies, sex adventures in which he was the hero and in
which girls he knew and those he imagined were the heroines, but
at the same time, standing aloof as it were, another part of him
seemed to watch his own reactions until “I nearly went crazy.” He
became obsessed by a feeling of unreality and adopted a Berkleyan
philosophy of idealism: nothing seemed to exist except his own
consciousness, and that seemed of doubtful existence. He took
long walks by himself, read philosophy and science with avidity,
yet turned by preference to these dreams of sex adventure,
palpitating, alluring, and yet so unreal to his critical self. To
others he was merely a bit moody and detached, though friendly
and kind.
He went to college, and his interest in sex became secondary
almost immediately. His student days were passed at Harvard at a
time when Royce, Palmer, Santayanna, and James ruled in its
philosophy, and H. I. became fascinated by these men and their
subject. His mind was again drawn into introspection, but in an
organized manner. He asked himself continually, “What are the
purposes of life; why do we love; does man will or is he an
automaton who watches the hands go around and thinks he moves
them?” Where before his feeling of unreality was largely
emotional, now it received an intellectual sanction, and he swung
from hither to yon in a never-ending cycle. He became wearied
beyond measure by his thoughts; he envied the beasts of the
field, the laborer in the ditch and all to whom life and living
were realities not in the least to be examined and questioned.
Deliberately he decided to shift his interests,—to buy an
automobile and learn about it; to play cards; to have his love
affair; to taste emotion and pleasure and to seek no intellectual
sanction for them.
He disappeared from college for a year and came back tanned,
ruddy and at rest. He had found a capacity for interest and
emotion outside of himself. He had experienced phases of life
about which he would not talk at first, but in later years he
admitted that he had been a “man of the world.” He regretted much
that had happened, but on the whole he rejoiced in an equanimity,
in a capacity for objective interest, that he had never had
before. His introspective trend
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