Why We Flop In Love - Santosh Jha (e ink manga reader TXT) 📗

of personal to mutual; exposing it to personalized and subjective perceptions of utility and fruition of others. Some may like it, some may dump it and we find ourselves happy and hurt at the same time.

Moreover, the one ‘special and exclusive’ person, with whom, we wish to share the personal utility of love, happens to be at the center of one major and decisive ‘desire’ and ‘need’. We wish this person to be and remain in ‘exclusive’ and ‘subjective’ domain of our ‘particular’ shade of love. This itself lands love in precarious domains of society, culture and economic benchmarks, which love must also fulfill. The energy fuel of love is put in the car of marital-life or in bonded-pair necessities. The onus shifts on the car, not the fuel of love.

That is why; when love comes out of the happy domain of personal positioning of individual consciousness, it becomes a product for ‘trade’ and then, all the dimensions and probabilities of ‘market’ become applicable to it. We need to accept this dualism of love – something as a consciousness positioning and other as a socially exchangeable emotion of subjective utilities.

This dualism of love is so mystically beautiful, yet very intricately multidimensional and we need to understand, accept and master the mechanisms and processes of this mystical dualism to be successful in love. Once we accept that love, as life energy is instinctive, natural and intuitive in us since our birth. However, the operations this energy makes us perform in the stage of this world, is a very sincere and persevered skill, which we all need to nurture and nourish.

Someone said it very beautifully – there is a huge but mystical distinction between ‘hunger’ and ‘appetite’. Hunger is instinctive and natural to all of us. It is our life energy. However, we all live in civilized and cultured societies, where hunger has to run under a mechanism and process, benchmarked by societies and governments in its sense of mutuality. That is why, it has to take the shape and form of ‘appetite’.

Moreover, appetite is not only a cultural need, but also a larger utility of consciousness of body-mind positioning. Appetite is a beautiful metaphor of the very precious ‘poise’ of consciousness, as it makes us learn and value the artistry of patience and self-control. Appetite is a situation of peaceful and patient expectation of food to come your way. It is a beautiful emotion and feeling like being in a state of joy and ecstasy, expecting your lover to come in your arms and kiss you softly. You feel the ‘hunger’; it energizes your mystical joys of expectations of the inevitability of ‘joyful union’ with your lover, the center of your ‘desires’. This appetite itself is joyous and exhilarating.

The dualism of hunger and appetite need to be understood and mastered. The dualism of energy and mechanism has to be mastered. The dualism of mechanism and process needs to be mastered. This dualism is within body-mind mechanism, in the society and culture, in the material aspects of love’s energy, in the larger political and economic environment within which society and culture evolves and creates its benchmarks of right and wrong.

This cosmic dualism need to be understood and mastered to be successful in love. This artistry of mastery of mechanisms and processes of dualism of the energy of love is not something we are born with. We are born just with this energy fuel of love and absolute intimacy.

We shall talk about all possible aspects of this dualism of love here, so that we become the ‘masters of the mechanism’ and processes of love and not the ‘puppet of mechanisms’. The venture of love and absolute intimacy is a huge possession and attainments of our lives and we just cannot take it casually. We need loads of preparedness to arrive at the stage of readiness. We all are born and we cannot help it. We shall all reach love and death; we cannot help it either. However, we can surely ensure that when love and death happens, we are sincerely ready for it, welcoming it with beautifully assuring smile and satisfaction.

Most importantly, like all good ventures, the success affects not only individual, but the society at large. Being successful in love is also our cherished societal duty. Every successful love venture adds loads of wellness in the society and milieu around us. We all have to put in our share of wellness into this collectivity, where our future generations shall breathe.

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Love Wisdom – 2

The art is in evolving to such a receptive consciousness, which is aligned to enjoyment and fruition in both ways – expecting and planning the randomizations for ‘specific’ joys as well as designing joys in ‘generic’ randomizations. Love lands you in a consciousness, which relishes the joys of this rainbowish dualism best.

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A Progression Of Dualisms

The first and foremost dualism about love, which is very deep-rooted in our consciousnesses, is its acceptance as something mystical, at the cost of sustained refusal to see the more objective and elaborately realistic aspects. Most of us are happy refusing the growingly available practical facts by behavioral science as well as pure science on the mechanism and process of love.

The majority idea is – love is ideally acceptable with its three elements of Mystery, Magic and Marvel. Most of us feel, if love is made to be understood with objective technicalities of science, the three ‘M’s’ of love withers away. The three ‘M’s’ land most of us in inexplicable troubles and pains of love, still, we do not wish to understand the mechanism in its objective and scientific terms, which can put us in good stead, vis-à-vis all the love troubles.

The dualism is in the mysticism, magic and marvel of love. This mysticism of love is what most lovers get attracted to initially. This suits the consciousness of love. This marvel of love gives the young men and women huge kicks of life. Young minds get huge thrills in journeying amidst the mist of mysticism of love as precariousness of the enterprise always has its own joy. Similar is the human desire, when it comes to religion and spiritualism. Mysticism is preferred state here too. However, this mysticism further confuses those in love and faith and this confusion in turn leads to calamitous patterns of behaviors and actions in love. The resultant pain and chaos is cyclic.

Sciences may not be in a position right now to tell us in perfect details as why and how, what happens in love. However, there are huge research-backed substantiations explaining lot many aspects of the purely physical and bio-chemical mechanisms and processes of love, as human mind handles them. This surely takes away lots of mysticism, magic and marvel out of the age-old notion of love and archetypal imagery of love in society. However, it is hugely helpful in clearing the mist of confusion and chaos around the very core idea of love.

It is a humble suggestion that objective knowledge about something never ever takes away the subjective joys. It rather enhances them. We all know it very well that an actor on the movie screen is just portraying and professing a role or character still, we cry with them and get emotionally one with the fictitious character. The knowledge, that the actor is actually not dead and it is only the character he portrayed is dead in the movie, does not anyway reduce our emotional joy and satisfaction of movie viewing. The knowledge surely enhances our joys and nullifies the pain, as we know, at the end of day everything is back to real.

The dualism of love is actually the root cause of why such a beautifully powerful and beneficial facility called love becomes a cause of pain and trouble. When we do not understand the mechanism of something very clearly, mysticism is bound to creep in and it shall unleash the destructive energy of confusion. We need to understand the mechanism of love in scientifically explained terms to enhance the joy of love.

The mechanism of mind, explained in terms of detailed neurochemical and neuroelectrical processes in pure scientific traditions may not be suitable for all of us. Therefore, what we shall talk about here is just an outline and simplified description of the mechanism.

What we are attempting to bring out from our discussion is the ‘dualism’ inherent in the mechanism and processes of love, as human mind handles it. We also need to accept that it is not something which science is telling us now. Thousands of years back, great minds of spiritualism and philosophy have told similar facts about consciousness, the cardinal position of love in it and the dualism, which consciousness faces about the emotional positioning of love.

Human mind is where all mysticisms emanate and end. The multilayered mechanisms of mind is one huge mystery, humanity has been attempting to unravel since thousands of years. The spiritualism and philosophy have given its own interpretation. Science has taken over and presented great facts about mind mechanism, its structure and functions and this has led humanity to understand lot many things about consciousness.

Human brain is the central mechanism for ensuring the survival and excellence of human body and it has to be accepted that the conscious and subconscious mind accepts and expresses almost everything in terms of its primary and pivotal role of ensuring a mechanism for survival and excellence. This interpretation of human mind looks so demeaning as we all are inclined to accept ourselves as something big and a lofty and special creation of God. Accepting ourselves as an entity, with base idea of survival is revolting.

That is why, science says, “the idea of a self, in objecting terms is often pitted against the ‘self’ itself, which we have been used to accepting subjectively since thousands of years.”

However, as we have talked about it earlier, the mechanism, as we are, may not be easy for us to accept but it is very helpful in enhancing our joy and satisfaction. Just for knowing the mechanism, we need to accept that human mind ensures this survival and excellence through a continuous and complicated maintenance of a process called homeostasis – better understandable as ‘poise’. All wisdoms, old or new, since thousands of years, have talked about the importance of this idea called ‘poise’, explained in terms of philosophy and spiritualism. Science unravels its physiological, bio-chemical and psychosomatic aspects.

In lower organisms, the homeostasis or poise is only physiological and biological but as human mechanism is very complex, human mind has to perform a complex and multidimensional homeostasis. In humans, the poise also has to be bio-sociological, psychological, emotional, spiritual as well as volitional. We are talking about this all because, love has to do specifically with this homeostasis thing and the trouble it creates also emanates from this.

There are sufficient scientific researches to establish that when people are in true love and absolute intimacy, their overall homeostasis is in great shape and this reflects in their healthy state of mind and body as well as behavior-action. The reverse has also been established as researches show, when people are in instable and unsettled love elements, their body gets affected and they land in serious body-mind dysfunction and even death.

Science has also established that most of the behavior-action of humans is instinctive and intuitive. Even the learned behavior, the nurture part, in time becomes part of instinctive behavior and nature. The simple idea is, almost everything, which our conscious and subconscious mind accepts and expresses, has to be in consonance and conformity with the larger homeostasis, which is essential for survival and excellence.

The conscious as well as the subconscious minds operates in a way, which is mystical for most of us as most operations and processes are intangible and we are mostly oblivious of it. That is also why, love, which is a very potent, cardinal and critical element of behavioral and emotional expression of our consciousness, remains in the mist