The Veil of Mysticism - Monika Petry (free ebook reader txt) 📗

thing was that I somehow felt guilty, knowing that with my high internal spiritual energy there was something wrong - I constantly had too much. Not in terms of the physical strength of my body, but an energy that you cannot easily identify, which is felt internally and constantly bubbling inside like a volcano. I just knew that I seemed to attract people who had not long to live, people of all ages.

Anyone who begins life with a near-death experience, finds a deep imprint of God. So it was with my birth. God showed me exactly at 3 pm at the time of St. Mary His light and carried me into life whilst my parents and the midwife were fighting for my life at home and the rest of my family was praying for me in church. This light, which I did not consciously experience, but which is deeply imprinted in my subconscious, I searched for all my life and found it again at my Confirmation. The Holy Spirit enlightened me again, and He filled me. Perhaps this profound experience at birth was also the reason that when I was a young child I was considered as something as a prodigy in the matters of God and the Gospel. Mind you, a Protestant child prodigy! Thanks to my Catholic Mother's family, the Angels and Saints were integrated into my life. But where did my Bible strength came from? There was no Bible passage that I did not know and could not quote, of course, cross-referenced with an indication to the author and chapter. I put quite a stress on the religious Teachers and Priests, as I also wanted to learn more about it and to constantly discuss it.

Already at that time I was aware that this could not have been everything because there had to be something more. I read and studied and discussed, but no one spoke about the Love of God, no one reached my heart. This went on up to my Protestant Confirmation at the age of 13, - the priest handed me the bread and the wine - and somehow it was over. The Holy Spirit did not ignite the big flame in me, He left it at the small smoldering flame within me since birth. He preferred to wait. Knowing that I could undertake make my "life experiences" alone. Self-employed, alone, knowing everything, being capable of everything, with a big mouth and waving flags through life's borders and leaving not a few traces of devastation behind me. It is a wonder that many people were able to take that from me!

*
"I am a woman and not a good bargain"
(Teresa of Ávila)
*

So I walked through life for 33 years without God, full of confidence in myself – I always had the basic trust that I have mentioned in the beginning. God was certainly there, but I did not worry concern myself with Him. I had also always been extremely fortunate. Of course it was not just luck, it was the providence of God, and my own skills that I worked with in major German companies – I experienced their difficulties – and in between I emigrated once to Paris and a second time to Brittany only to return to Germany after one year each time with the recognition that in Germany I can work better. The trend continued: Wherever I went, I met people and situations that were in a transition stage or on the verge of difficulties. God made it impossible to just settle down somewhere comfortably. I constantly found myself in a transitional situation, and became the expert in crisis management in every respect. When anyone needed to know what to do next, I came on to my peak performance.

Seven years ago, time had come, my fate had struck. Before the turn a challenge happened I had never known before: I had to forgive the man who had caused the biggest crisis of my life. Gradually I succeeded. God allowed me to recognize and accept my own responsibility. So I could remove that resentment from my Soul. So I prepared the way for the people who felt my strength, and articulated myself in the right direction towards healing others. I became clear of that which is within me, I realized it was God although not entirely, but I knew: That's not me, who was healing people, removing through prayer the curses on homes, diverting storms and doing other seemingly inexplicable things – that was God.

My first effective Lord's Prayer I did with a woman who also possessed much infusions of the Holy Spirit. She was often asked to help when people, animals and possessions were under a curse, as evidenced by their experiences of recurrent disaster. Once I found myself close by her when a telephone call came to her from a family calling for help: Once again, a barn was on fire! "Monika, come, we shall pray together," she said. I did not ask why and did not hesitate, so I sat down beside her and prayed my first Lord's Prayer after 33 years. And once again, and a third time, and I still remember a great power was rising within me and the compassion - not only with this woman who had just included me, probably knowing that God had brought me these seeds to germinate and which were about to sprout, but even with these suffering people and their animals in mortal danger. After an hour, the situation calmed. The firefighters had done their bit, and the Fire-devil had been defeated by God – we were sure! "That's it?" I thought at the time. "Just pray the Lord's Prayer whenever I can! If there is no more that can be done, I still can!" And so at that time there was no more that could be done but to pray. Even today there is nothing more valuable than praying. It's the same for all situations at any level, although for me there has also been a great love story with God between then and now.

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"If I had known earlier that the tiny palace
of my Soul is housing such a great King,
I would not have left Him alone so often. "
(Teresa of Ávila)
*

II.
Providence

John 1:1,14 "In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word of God ... And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, glory as of the only begotten Son of God the Father, full of grace and truth. " First there was silence. Jesus Christ existed first as a thought of God and His Word in His providence, in His plan. When the time was ripe, the word became flesh, and Jesus came as our Savior on Earth. Salvation means enlightenment. Through Him we can let God's Light shine through us and be a Light of God himself.

As we ourselves also were starting in the silence of God in His Word and His thought, so we go into the silence, and then create with our thoughts and our words anew. We are the creator and sustainer of our health. Our destructive thoughts can make our body become diseased. They can lead to a destructive life. On the other hand our loving, forward-looking thoughts can create a life of health and dignity. Love creates Love. It is entirely up to ourselves, what we make of our lives. If we have not grasped the meaning of life, we will have to suffer it. The meaning of suffering is suffering. It is not of God. He has our plan within a grid placed in His hand.

The core of all created existence is made up of His Light and His Love. God is joy and abundance for all of time. We may well already enjoy in this life His gifts, for only in this moment we are living consciously. The past is gone, the future is before us, only in the present exists the awareness, mindfulness, and only in the present now can we live consciously and responsibly.

Why has God given us this beautiful Planet Earth, if not for this life in the here and now? So that we should use it. We have to ensure the preservation of the Earth. We must also pay attention to develop ourselves with His gifts and not to abuse them in an otherwise superficial life. We live with the body, mind and soul in this life in the here and now. Just as we wish it to be. If we are completely at one with God and are also aware of it, we can leave our thoughts and actions in turn wholly to Him, to live in certainty, according to God's design in love and abundance.

That comes through His preeminent Grace and with the cooperation of the free will of rational creatures, as the term 'Providence' is described according to 'Wikipedia': "A higher power that influences the fate of people and the course of world history." – "Providence is the almighty and omniscient God, inasmuch as He in His advanced awareness is correcting the World’s events and saving those from their own destructive actions. This can be done in several ways: according to the Laws of Nature, through miracles, through His preeminent Grace, through involvement with the free-will of rational creatures, or by admitting our sins, but excludes any of His direct involvement in our day-to-day lives...”

It was Divine Providence that brought me to the historic town of Limburg/Lahn. I pursued this goal without question, just knowing that it had to be! I had become aware in the year of 2008, that my life would continue to decline significantly. By September 2008 I felt impelled to move to Limburg on the River Lahn (about 70km Northwest of Frankfurt) centered around its famous large Dom/Cathedral.

In the later Chapter entitled 'Blessed Mother Mary', I describe how I had found the house in Limburg. It was so easy, I was led up to it. Two minutes after praying to Mother Mary in the Cathedral of Limburg, I found myself standing in front of the house in the little narrow street leading to the Cathedral, and in November I moved there. I had hardly brought with me any furniture, which was good thing as I could not have fitted more into this small and narrow 550 year old half-timbered house with its three floors leading up from a narrow twisting stairway. I had instead brought with me my many statues of the Saints, and the house itself radiated a sacred spiritual atmosphere.

This was to be the best event for me at the time, because it led me on a path straight to God. I soon was to visit Him in the Cathedral, several times a day. Not only during religious services but the in between times. This great Catholic temple attracted me like magic. There were moments when I could feel the energy pulling me up the Cathedral hill, day and night. God pulled me there, He wanted me in 'His Church'! In 2008 I spent a wonderful Christmas and New Year's Eve involved in the ceremonies of the Cathedral. In January 2009, I experienced the first Pontifical Mass, and within that it came to me: In the liturgy I sensed a major spiritual force, I saw with my eyes closed a deep purple, indicating the highest spirituality, the prayers went through and through me, and the Cathedral Choir sang with an almost unbearable beauty.

And then, from an unexpected source, God sent forth me a helper, Johannes, with whom I had a Platonic friendship. His life at that point had not gone as