How to Write Clearly - Edwin A. Abbott (books to read this summer .TXT) 📗

next sentence. Make it evident therefore, by their position, that these words are more emphatic than "to mourn &c."

106. "(a) If we ask (15 b) what was the nature of the force by which this change was effected, (a) we find it to have been (b) the force that had seemed almost dead for many generations—(38) of theology."

(a) Omit these words. (b) Begin a new sentence: "It was a force &c."

107. "I remember Longinus highly recommends a description of a storm by Homer, because (a) (5) (c) he has not amused himself with little fancies upon the occasion, as authors of an inferior genius, whom he mentions, (b) (15 a) have done, (30) but (c) because he has gathered together those (d) (1) events which are the most apt to terrify the imagination, and (35) really happen in the raging of a tempest."

(a) "The poet." (b) Omit "have done" and write "like some authors." (c) Suspend the sentence by writing "the poet … instead of … has." (d) What is the word for "that which happens around one, or in connection with some central object?"

108. "To have passed (a) (3) in a self-satisfied manner through twenty years of office, letting things take their own course; to have (b) sailed with consummate sagacity, never against the tide of popular (c) judgement; to have left on record as the sole title to distinction among English ministers a peculiar art of (d) sporting with the heavy, the awful responsibility of a nation's destiny with the jaunty grace of a juggler (11) (e) playing with his golden ball; to have joked and intrigued, and bribed and (f) deceived, with the result of having done nothing (g), (h) either for the poor, (h) or for religion (for (i) which indeed he did worse than nothing), (h) or for art and science, (h) or for the honour or concord or even the financial prosperity of the nation, (38) is surely a miserable basis on which the reputation of a great (15) statesman can be (k) (15 a) founded."

(a) "complacently." (b) "Sail" implies will and effort: use a word peculiar to a helpless ship, so as to contrast paradoxically with "sagacity." (c) Use a word implying less thought and deliberation. (d) With is too often repeated; write "bearing" so as to introduce the illustration abruptly. (e) "tossing." (f) Use a word implying a particular kind of "deceit," not "lying," but the next thing to "lying." (g) Insert the word with a preceding and intensifying adverb, "absolutely nothing." (h) Instead of "either," "or," repeat "nothing." (i) The parenthesis breaks the rhythm. Write "nothing, or worse than nothing." (k) "to found."

109. "A glance at the clock will make you (1) conscious that it is nearly three in the morning, and I therefore ask you, gentlemen, instead of wasting more time, to put this question to yourselves, 'Are we, or are we not, here, for the purpose of (1) eliminating the truth?'"

110. "The speech of the Right Honourable member, so far from unravelling (14) the obscurities of this knotty question, is eminently calculated to mislead his supporters (a) (8 a) who have not made a special study of it. It may be (b) (23) almost asserted of every statement (8) which he has made that the very (1) converse is the fact."

(a) The meaning appears to be, not "all his supporters," but "those of his supporters who:" the convenience of writing "his supporters that" is so great that I should be disposed to use "that." (b) "Every," not "asserted," requires the juxtaposition of "almost."

111. "The provisions of the treaty which (8) require the consent of the Parliament of Canada await its assembling."

Point out the meaning conveyed by which, and by that.

112. "Mrs. Smith demonstrated (26), in opposition to the general dictum of the press, that (a) there had been a reaction against woman's suffrage, that there had really been a gain of one vote in the House of Commons."

(a) Substitute "instead of," and erase the second "that."

113. "The practice of smoking hangs like a gigantic (14 a) cloud of evil over the country."

FOOTNOTES:

[18] That which treats of the thirteenth century.

CONTINUOUS EXERCISES. CLEARNESS.

The following exercises consist of extracts from Burnet, Butler, and Clarendon, modernized and altered with a view to remove obscurity and ambiguity. The modernized version will necessarily be inferior to the original in unity of style, and in some other respects. The charm of the author's individuality, and the pleasant ring of the old-fashioned English, are lost. It is highly necessary that the student should recognize this, and should bear in mind that the sole object is to show how the meaning in each case might have been more clearly expressed.

Occasionally expressions have been altered, not as being in themselves obscure or objectionable, but as indicating a habit of which beginners should beware. For example, in the extract from Burnet, he is often altered, not because, in the particular context, the pronoun presents any obscurity, but because Burnet's habit of repeating he is faulty.

These exercises can be used in two ways. The pupil may either have his book open and be questioned on the reasons for each alteration, or, after studying the two versions, he may have the original version dictated to him, and then he may reproduce the parallel version, or something like it, on paper.

LORD CLARENDON.

The principal faults in this style are, long heterogeneous sentences (43), use of phrases for words (47 a), ambiguous use of pronouns (5), excessive separation of words grammatically connected together (19).

ORIGINAL VERSION. PARALLEL VERSION.

(44) It will not be impertinent And now, in order to explain, as nor unnatural to this (50) far as possible, how so prodigious present discourse, to set down an alteration could take place in in this place the present temper so short a time, and how the[19] and constitution of both Houses royal power could fall so low as of Parliament, and (34) of the to be unable to support itself, court itself, (30) that (5) it its dignity, or its faithful may be the less wondered at, that servants, it will be of use to set so prodigious an alteration should down here, where it comes most be made in so short a time, and naturally, some account of the[20] (37) the crown fallen so low, that present temper and composition, it could neither support itself not only of both Houses of nor its own majesty, nor those Parliament, but also of the court who would (47 a) appear itself. faithful to it.

* * * * * * * * * *

(Here follows a description of the House of Lords.)

In the House of Commons were many In the House of Commons persons of wisdom and gravity, who there were many men of wisdom (7) being possessed of great and and judgment whose high plentiful fortunes, though they position and great wealth disposed were undevoted enough to the them, in spite of their indifference court, (19) had all imaginable to the court, to feel duty for the king, and affection a most loyal respect for the to the government established(47 king, and a great affection for a) by law or ancient custom; the ancient constitutional (43) and without doubt, the major government of the country. Indeed, part of that (54) body it cannot be doubted that consisted of men who had no mind the majority had no intention to to break the peace of the kingdom, break the peace of the kingdom or to make any considerable or to make any considerable alteration in the government of alteration in Church or State. Church or State: (43) and Consequently, from the very therefore (18) all inventions outset, it was necessary to resort were set on foot from the (15) to every conceivable device beginning to work upon (5) for the purpose of perverting them, and (11) corrupt (5) this honest majority into rebellion. them, (43) (45) by suggestions "of the dangers (8) which With some, the appeal was threatened all that was precious addressed to their patriotism. to the subject (19) in their They were warned "of the liberty and their property, by dangers that threatened [all overthrowing (47 a) or that was precious in] the liberty overmastering the law, and (47 and property of the subject, a) subjecting it to an if the laws were to be made arbitrary (47_a_) power, and by subservient to despotism, and countenancing Popery to the if Popery was to be encouraged subversion of the Protestant to the subversion of the Protestant religion," and then, by religion." infusing terrible apprehensions into some, and so working upon The fears of others were appealed their fears, (6 b) "of (11 a) to. "There was danger," so[21] it being called in question for was said, "that they might be somewhat they had done," by which called to account for something (5) they would stand in need of they had done, and they would then (5) their protection; and (43) stand in