How to Write Clearly - Edwin A. Abbott (books to read this summer .TXT) 📗

at Malaga, before he made war upon Spain; and some of his seamen went ashore, and met the Host carried about; and not only paid no respect to it, but laughed at those who did." Write "When Blake &c."

*45. The connection between two long sentences sometimes requires a short intervening sentence, showing the transition of thought.*

"Without force or opposition, it (chivalry) subdued the fierceness of pride and power; it obliged sovereigns to submit to the soft collar[16] of social esteem, compelled stern authority to submit to elegance, and gave a dominating vanquisher of laws to be subdued by manners. But now (all is to be changed:) all the pleasing illusions which made power gentle and obedience liberal, which harmonized the different shades of life, and which, by a bland assimilation, incorporated into politics the sentiments that beautify and soften private society, are to be dissolved by this new conquering empire of light and reason." If the words italicized were omitted, the transition would be too abrupt: the conjunction but alone would be insufficient.

FOOTNOTES:

[5] For, at the beginning of a sentence, sometimes causes temporary doubt, while the reader is finding out whether it is used as a conjunction or preposition.

[6] It should refer (1) either to the Noun immediately preceding, or (2) to some Noun superior to all intervening Nouns in emphasis. See (25).

[7] So useful that, on mature consideration, I am disposed to adopt "that" here and in several of the following exceptional cases.

[8] Of course "and which" may be used where "which" precedes.

[9] "That which," where that is an object, e.g. "then (set forth) that which is worse," St. John ii. 10, is rare in modern English.

[10] Sometimes the emphatic Adverb comes at the beginning, and causes the transposition of an Auxiliary Verb, "Gladly do I consent."

[11] Of course punctuation will remove the ambiguity; but it is better to express oneself clearly, as far as possible, independently of punctuation.

[12] Professor Bain.

[13] See (30).

[14] The repetition of Auxiliary Verbs and Pronominal Adjectives is also conducive to clearness.

[15] Professor Bain says: "In the epigram the mind is roused by a conflict or contradiction between the form of the language and the meaning really conveyed."

[16] This metaphor is not recommended for imitation.

* * * * *

BREVITY.

*46. Metaphor is briefer than literal statement.* See (13).

"The cares and responsibilities of a sovereign often disturb his sleep," is not so brief as "Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown," where the effect of care on the mind is assimilated to the effect of a heavy crown pressing on the head.

*47. General terms are briefer, though less forcible, than particular terms.* Thus: "He devours literature, no matter of what kind," is shorter than, "Novels or sermons, poems or histories, no matter what, he devours them all."

*47 a. A phrase may be expressed by a word.*

"These impressions can never be forgotten, i.e. are indelible."

"The style of this book is of such a nature that it cannot be understood, i.e. unintelligible."

The words "of such a nature that" are often unnecessarily inserted.
See the extract from Sir Archibald Alison.

*48. Participles can often be used as brief (though sometimes ambiguous) equivalents of phrases containing Conjunctions and Verbs.*

"Hearing (when he heard) this, he advanced." See (7) for more instances. So "phrases containing conjunctions" means "phrases that contain conjunctions." "This done, (for, when this was done) he retired."

Sometimes the participle "being" is omitted. "France at our doors, he sees no danger nigh," for "France being" or "though France is."

*49. Participles and participial adjectives may be used like Adjectives, as equivalents for phrases containing the Relative.*

"The never-ceasing wind," "the clamouring ocean," "the drenching rain," are instances. The licence of inventing participial adjectives by adding -ing to a noun, is almost restricted to poetry. You could not write "the crannying wind" in prose.

*50. A statement may sometimes be briefly implied instead of being expressed at length.* Thus, instead of "The spirit of Christianity was humanizing, and therefore &c.," or "Christianity, since it was (or being) of a humanizing spirit, discouraged &c.," we can write more briefly and effectively, "Gladiatorial shows were first discouraged, and finally put down, by the humanizing spirit of Christianity." So instead of "The nature of youth is thoughtless and sanguine, and therefore &c.," we can write, "The danger of the voyage was depreciated and the beauty of the island exaggerated by the thoughtless nature of youth."

Sometimes a mere name or epithet implies a statement. "It was in vain that he offered the Swiss terms: war was deliberately preferred by the hardy mountaineers," i.e. "by the Swiss, because they were mountaineers and hardy." "The deed was applauded by all honest men, but the Government affected to treat it as murder, and set a price upon the head of (him whom they called) the assassin." "The conqueror of Austerlitz might be expected to hold different language from the prisoner of St. Helena," i.e. "Napoleon when elated by the victory of Austerlitz," and "Napoleon when depressed by his imprisonment at St. Helena."

CAUTION.—Different names must not be used for the same person unless each of them derives an appropriateness from its context. Thus, if we are writing about Charles II., it would be in very bad taste to avoid repeating "he" by using such periphrases as the following: "The third of the Stewarts hated business," "the Merry Monarch died in the fifty-fourth year of his age," &c.

*51. Conjunctions may be omitted.* The omission gives a certain forcible abruptness, e.g. "You say this: I (on the other hand) deny it."

When sentences are short, as in Macaulay's writings, conjunctions may be advantageously omitted.

Where a contrast is intended, the conjunction but usually prepares the way for the second of the two contrasted terms: "He is good but dull." Where and is used instead of but, the incongruity savours of epigram: "He always talks truthfully and prosily." "He is always amusing and false."

*51 a. The Imperative Mood may be used for "if."*

"Strip (for, if you strip) Virtue of the awful authority she derives from the general reverence of mankind, and you rob her of half her majesty."

*52. Apposition may be used so as to convert two sentences into one.*

"We called at the house of a person to whom we had letters of introduction, a musician, and, what is more, a good friend to all young students of music." This is as clear as, and briefer than, "He was a musician, &c."

*53. Condensation may be effected by not repeating (1) the common subject of several verbs, (2) the common object of several verbs or prepositions.*

(1) "He resided here for many years, and, after he had won the esteem of all the citizens, (he) died," &c. So, (2) "He came to, and was induced to reside in, this city," is shorter than "He came to this city, and was induced to reside in it."

Such condensation often causes obscurity, and, even where there is no obscurity, there is a certain harshness in pausing on light, unemphatic words, such as to, in, &c., as in the first example.

*54. Tautology.*—The fault of repeating the same word several times unnecessarily is called tautology, e.g.:

"This is a painful circumstance; it is a circumstance that I much regret, and he also will much regret the circumstance." But the fault is not to be avoided by using different words to mean the same thing, as, "This is a painful event; it is a circumstance that I much regret, and he also will greatly lament the occurrence." The true remedy is to arrange the words in such a manner that there may be no unnecessary repetition, thus: "This is a painful circumstance, a circumstance that causes me, and will cause him, deep regret."

The repetition of the same meaning in slightly different words is a worse fault than the repetition of the same word. See, for examples, the extract from Sir Archibald Alison, at the end of the book. Thus "A burning thirst for conquests is a characteristic of this nation. It is an ardent passion that &c." Other instances are—"The universal opinion of all men;" "His judgment is so infallible that it is never deceived," &c.

*55. Parenthesis may be used with advantage to brevity.*

"We are all (and who would not be?) offended at the treatment we have received," is shorter and more forcible than the sentence would have been if the parenthesis had been appended in a separate sentence: "Who, indeed, would not be offended?"

Extreme care must, however, be taken that a parenthesis may not obscure the meaning of a long sentence.

*56. Caution: let clearness be the first consideration.* It is best, at all events for beginners, not to aim so much at being brief, or forcible, as at being perfectly clear. Horace says, "While I take pains to be brief, I fall into obscurity," and it may easily be seen that several of the rules for brevity interfere with the rules for clearness.

Forcible style springs from (1) vividness and (2) exactness of thought, and from a corresponding (1) vividness and (2) exactness in the use of words.

(1) When you are describing anything, endeavour to see it and describe it as you see it. If you are writing about a man who was killed, see the man before you, and ask, was he executed, cut down, run through the body, butchered, shot, or hanged? If you are writing about the capture of a city, was the city stormed, surprised, surrendered, starved out, or demolished before surrender? Was an army repelled, defeated, routed, crushed, or annihilated?

(2) Exactness in the use of words requires an exact knowledge of their meanings and differences. This is a study by itself, and cannot be discussed here.[17]

FOOTNOTES:

[17] See English Lessons for English People, pp. 1-53.

EXERCISES

For an explanation of the manner in which these Exercises are intended to be used, see the Preface.

A number in brackets by itself, or followed by a letter, e.g. (43), (40 a), refers to the Rules.

Letters by themselves in brackets, e.g. (b), refer to the explanations or hints appended to each sentence.

N.B..—(10 a) refers to the first section of Rule (10); (10 a') to the Rule following Rule (10).

1. "Pleasure and excitement had more attractions for him than (a) (36) (37 a) his friend, and the two companions became estranged (15 a) gradually."

(a) Write (1) "than for his friend," or (2) "than had his friend," "had more attractions than his friend."

2. "(a) He soon grew tired of solitude even in that beautiful scenery, (36) the pleasures of the retirement (8) which he had once pined for, and (36) leisure which he could use to no good purpose, (a) (30) being (15) restless by nature."

(a) This sentence naturally stops at "purpose." Also "being restless" seems (wrongly) to give the reason why "leisure" could not be employed. Begin "Restless by nature…."

3. "The opponents of the Government are naturally, and not (a) (40 a) without justification, elated at the failure of the bold attempt to return two supporters of the Government at the recent election, (b) (10 a') which is certainly to be regretted."

(a) "unjustifiably." (b) Write, for "which," either (1) "an attempt that &c.," or (2) "a failure that &c."

4. "Carelessness in the Admiralty departments has co-operated with Nature to weaken the moral power of a Government that particularly needs to be thought efficient in (a) (5) this respect, (b) (29) to counterbalance a general distrust of its excessive desire (c) (47 a) to please everybody in Foreign Affairs."

(a) Write "the Navy." (b) Instead of "to" write "in order to," so as to distinguish the different infinitives, (c) "obsequiousness."

5. "(a) He was sometimes supported by Austria, who, oddly enough, appears under Count Beust to have been more friendly to Italy than (37 a) France, (30) in this line of action."