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stood in the alleyway that led to the bar she would eventually step out of. As if she was an astronomical egress, for she is the sun and I am the earth basking in her light because without her I would be lifeless and dark like a Barron blood moon.

 

I lent against the cold brick walls of the dim alleyway with my hands in my pocket trying to fight against icy chill of winter. After a while I pulled a green lighter out of my pocket and lit a cigarette, I sighed as I placed it between my lips and felt the nicotine sink into my lungs, then a dark cloud of smoke expelled into the air. I punctuated every puff of smoke with a swig of beer, the taste expanding across my tongue and down my throat. I shut my eyes and let the colours dance across my closed eyelids like fireworks.

 

Then I heard her voice, like an angel that's been locked in hell singing for its freedom. And I heard her call.

She took a step forward, her long hair reaching out towards me like desperate hands and desperate fingers craving my touch. I watched as she hummed to the song she played on her iPod like a siren luring a sailor, and I was glad to oblige. I took a step forward, then another and one more as I swigged the last drop of beer out of the bottle. I held the bottle behind my head then threw it forward with all the strength I could muster. It floated in the air like a feather, it took centuries for it to fall but I would of waited millennia for her touch. I saw as the glass shattered and flew into the air like birds, tiny stars at her feet as if Amelia was a goddess but she wasn't, she was much more.

 

I watched as Aphrodite delicately lifted her hand as she slowly pull out an individual ear bud and let it fall to her cheek and further down to her side. Watched as she slowly turned around and stood facing me, I stepped closer.

 

"Where you goin' sweet thing?" I asked my chest puffing out as I towered over her.

 

She stepped backwards, slightly tripping as she did so.

 

"Um I.."

 

I suddenly grabbed her hands and held them over head. They were so small and thin I could hold them both in one hand. Next I pinned her against the wall, with all the tenderness I could manage and my hand slowly made its way up her thigh.

I stuck my tongue out and licked their neck, tasting her sweet, soft skin as she quivered under me.

After a year of abstinence, after a year of just fantasies, I finally got my realise.

all the pretty stars shine for you my love

 

2nd January 2018

 

 

Amelia

 

~~~~~~~~~~~dream~~~~~~~~~~~

 

I was standing on a balcony a thousand stories high, the sun setting in the distance, it's golden spirals frozen in time underneath my touch. I felt the wind blow through my pitch black veil, I looked down at my clothing, I was wearing a funeral dress. My skin was pale contrasting the night I wore around my body. I looked down at the ground below me, it's cold concrete moving like waves in slow motion. I climbed up to the edge of the golden balcony, my hands slowly took both of my black high heels, I held them up to my face before dropping them to the grey waves that circled the tower. I watched as they fell. It's small black sequins shimmering as they flipped and turned. I saw the shoes fade into nothing before hearing a small splash. Suddenly, the sky was possessed by complete darkness, even the stars were sleeping.

 

I jumped

 

I saw the world around me speed past at the speed of light. My hair was forced upwards like serpents on the head of Medusa. I could hear screaming. So loud, so corrupt, that I would have gone death for my entire life rather than risk hearing anything like this.

 

I covered my ears.

 

I hit the ground.

 

I woke up in a cold sweat, my breathing doubled in speed as I looked around this strange place. I wasn't in my room, I wasn't in any room that I ever saw before. I could feel the light blue, silk sheets draped loosely around me as I began to feel myself flood with memories.

 

I drowned in those memories.

 

I could feel him touch me, like it was happening all over again. I began to hyperventilate as tears fell down my face. I placed two and two together and realised I was in his house. I was in his bed. I wiped my eyes as I made my way out of the bed, I felt the soft carpet underneath my toes as I began to stand. I noticed I was changed. I was wearing a snow white night gown, held together with a long thin ribbon lacing behind my back.

I looked for the closest thing to me that I could use as a weapon. I looked under the bed, in the bedside drawers and in the closet. However, the closest thing I could find to one was a broom stick so I  held it firmly in my hand as I made my way to the door. I held the cold circular door knob in my hand and turned it as its icy chill made its way into my veins.

 

The door slid open as my whole body cringed at the sound of hinges creaking. I begin to pace forward when I am suddenly attached by the scent of coffee and another unknown, sweet scent . I slowly follow the scent, my grip on the handle grows tighter with every step I take. I could feel the cold wood broom in my hand. I could hear every drop water run through the pipes of the house. I could feel every sense heighten, as If right there and then I had evolved into something better than I had ever been before. Like I was no longer human

 

I noticed how big the house was. As if I was in a mansion. I could see antiques, jewels and endless walls with every step I took on the soft white carpet. As soon as I turned the final corner I held my weapon above my head and rushed into the room, yet all I could find was a warm mug of coffee and a plate of waffles with chocolate and cream piled on the top like rubble on a mountain. I looked around, lost for words, I somehow still couldn't find him. He was playing with me. I still don't know the rules.

 

I look at the black coffee with thirst, my throat felt so dry, as if it was turning into stone. Yet I still couldn't risk drinking it. I placed my broomstick down before looking for a glass to fill up with water. I turned the tap on as the water splashed into a crystal glass, I tilt the nectar into my mouth. It tasted like heaven.

I walk out of the room after I poured the coffee away and threw the waffles into the trash. I needed to look for a way out. I could still feel he was somewhere near. These endless corridors, leading into endless rooms felt like a labyrinth, I twisted and turned through the many rooms trying to avoid the Minotaur. I grew dizzy and nauseous in minutes. I could feel a weight put on my whole body, like I was sinking into the floor boards. I sit down with my back against the wall when suddenly, I hear footsteps.

I stand up and stumble backwards, my head feeling like it was compacting. I felt my breathing get faster as I moved away, keeping my eyes on the door I felt sure was about to swing open. I couldn't bare to look away, I couldn't bare to look at him. I saw the handle twist open.

 

I ran.

 

I made my way to the kitchen dodging every table, chair and vase as I tried to recall the way back. I could feel my lungs burning on the inside. I ran till I could feel the cold marble stone floor of the kitchen, looking for a knife. I opened three draws before I could feel the reassurance of a black plastic handle. I armed my self, with my weapon facing the door.

 

Creak

 

He was there. He was right in front of me. I was staring at the devil himself. He smiled with his perfect teeth and thin lips, like he knew every move I would make. I stepped forward, my teeth grinding.

 

"I wouldn't do that if I were you."

 

I stared at him in disbelief, my hands shaking as I attempted to cut him. He looked at me before pointing to the camera in the corner of the room.

 

"You see, I am a well known producer and if I'm gone, injured or just miss one little session people will be asking questions. And you don't want that do you?"

He slowly pulled the knife out of my hands and placed it on the side next to me.

 

"So you're going to keep your mouth shut." He whispered placing his index finger on my lips. "Cause I could take you down in seconds."

 

I pushed away from him but his grip on my arms grew stronger.

 

"Now let's get you fed."

i know what you really want baby

 

2nd January 2018

 

Amelia

 

Cautiously, I stare at him as I sit silently, trying to think of a way out. Slowly, He turned the grill with one hand, its soft ticking broke through the silence. With the other hand he opened the door to the freezer and opened a pack of sausages. He never once looked back at me while the grill spat lava in his direction.

I was panicking but I knew I had to stay still to prevent any struggle or confrontation, so I internalised it. The wait was agony as I saw the sausages frying, spitting out in anger like a hostile viper. I knew that any creak, any scrape, or any groan from the chair would mean his piercing eyes would assault me. I try to stay silent.

I try to stay obedient.

I can still feel my arms burning in pain from before, purple bruises left like a brand.
I can't take this.

 

How long has he been doing this?

How long has he been planning?

 

I can't cope.

 

What if I'm not his first?

What if no one

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