The Call of the Canyon - Zane Grey (best ereader for pdf txt) 📗

her visits to the hospital in Bedford Park. Through her bountiful presence Virgil Rust and his comrades had many dull hours of pain and weariness alleviated and brightened. Interesting herself in the condition of the seriously disabled soldiers and possibility of their future took time and work Carley gave willingly and gladly. At first she endeavored to get acquaintances with means and leisure to help the boys, but these overtures met with such little success that she quit wasting valuable time she could herself devote to their interests.

Thus several weeks swiftly passed by. Several soldiers who had been more seriously injured than Rust improved to the extent that they were discharged. But Rust gained little or nothing. The nurse and doctor both informed Carley that Rust brightened for her, but when she was gone he lapsed into somber indifference. He did not care whether he ate or not, or whether he got well or died.

“If I do pull out, where’ll I go and what’ll I do?” he once asked the nurse.

Carley knew that Rust’s hurt was more than loss of a leg, and she decided to talk earnestly to him and try to win him to hope and effort. He had come to have a sort of reverence for her. So, biding her time, she at length found opportunity to approach his bed while his comrades were asleep or out of hearing. He endeavored to laugh her off, and then tried subterfuge, and lastly he cast off his mask and let her see his naked soul.

“Carley, I don’t want your money or that of your kind friends—whoever they are—you say will help me to get into business,” he said. “God knows I thank you and it warms me inside to find some one who appreciates what I’ve given. But I don’t want charity… . And I guess I’m pretty sick of the game. I’m sorry the Boches didn’t do the job right.”

“Rust, that is morbid talk,” replied Carley. “You’re ill and you just can’t see any hope. You must cheer up—fight yourself; and look at the brighter side. It’s a horrible pity you must be a cripple, but Rust, indeed life can be worth living if you make it so.”

“How could there be a brighter side when a man’s only half a man—” he queried, bitterly.

“You can be just as much a man as ever,” persisted Carley, trying to smile when she wanted to cry.

“Could you care for a man with only one leg?” he asked, deliberately.

“What a question! Why, of course I could!”

“Well, maybe you are different. Glenn always swore even if he was killed no slacker or no rich guy left at home could ever get you. Maybe you haven’t any idea how much it means to us fellows to know there are true and faithful girls. But I’ll tell you, Carley, we fellows who went across got to see things strange when we came home. The good old U. S. needs a lot of faithful girls just now, believe me.”

“Indeed that’s true,” replied Carley. “It’s a hard time for everybody, and particularly you boys who have lost so—so much.”

“I lost all, except my life—and I wish to God I’d lost that,” he replied, gloomily.

“Oh, don’t talk so!” implored Carley in distress. “Forgive me, Rust, if I hurt you. But I must tell you—that—that Glenn wrote me—you’d lost your girl. Oh, I’m sorry! It is dreadful for you now. But if you got well—and went to work—and took up life where you left it—why soon your pain would grow easier. And you’d find some happiness yet.”

“Never for me in this world.”

“But why, Rust, why? You’re no—no—Oh! I mean you have intelligence and courage. Why isn’t there anything left for you?”

“Because something here’s been killed,” he replied, and put his hand to his heart.

“Your faith? Your love of—of everything? Did the war kill it?”

“I’d gotten over that, maybe,” he said, drearily, with his somber eyes on space that seemed lettered for him. “But she half murdered it—and they did the rest.”

“They? Whom do you mean, Rust?”

“Why, Carley, I mean the people I lost my leg for!” he replied, with terrible softness.

“The British? The French?” she queried, in bewilderment.

“No!” he cried, and turned his face to the wall.

Carley dared not ask him more. She was shocked. How helplessly impotent all her earnest sympathy! No longer could she feel an impersonal, however kindly, interest in this man. His last ringing word had linked her also to his misfortune and his suffering. Suddenly he turned away from the wall. She saw him swallow laboriously. How tragic that thin, shadowed face of agony! Carley saw it differently. But for the beautiful softness of light in his eyes, she would have been unable to endure gazing longer.

“Carley, I’m bitter,” he said, “but I’m not rancorous and callous, like some of the boys. I know if you’d been my girl you’d have stuck to me.”

“Yes,” Carley whispered.

“That makes a difference,” he went on, with a sad smile. “You see, we soldiers all had feelings. And in one thing we all felt alike. That was we were going to fight for our homes and our women. I should say women first. No matter what we read or heard about standing by our allies, fighting for liberty or civilization, the truth was we all felt the same, even if we never breathed it… . Glenn fought for you. I fought for Nell… . We were not going to let the Huns treat you as they treated French and Belgian girls… . And think! Nell was engaged to me—she loved me—and, by God! She married a slacker when I lay half dead on the battlefield!”

“She was not worth loving or fighting for,” said Carley, with agitation.

“Ah! now you’ve said something,” he declared. “If I can only hold to that truth! What does one girl amount to? I do not count. It is the sum that counts. We love America—our homes—our women! … Carley, I’ve had comfort and strength come to me through you. Glenn will have his reward in your love. Somehow I seem to share it, a little. Poor Glenn! He got his, too. Why, Carley, that guy wouldn’t let you do what he could do for you. He was cut to pieces—”

“Please—Rust—don’t say any more. I am unstrung,” she pleaded.

“Why not? It’s due you to know how splendid Glenn was… . I tell you, Carley, all the boys here love you for the way you’ve stuck to Glenn. Some of them knew him, and I’ve told the rest. We thought he’d never pull through. But he has, and we know how you helped. Going West to see him! He didn’t write it to me, but I know… . I’m wise. I’m happy for him—the lucky dog. Next time you go West—”

“Hush!” cried Carley. She could endure no more. She could no longer be a lie.

“You’re white—you’re shaking,” exclaimed Rust, in concern. “Oh, I—what did I say? Forgive me—”

“Rust, I am no more worth loving and fighting for than your Nell.”

“What!” he ejaculated.

“I have not told you the truth,” she said, swiftly. “I have let you believe a lie… . I shall never marry Glenn. I broke my engagement to him.”

Slowly Rust sank back upon the pillow, his large luminous eyes piercingly fixed upon her, as if he would read her soul.

“I went West—yes—” continued Carley. “But it was selfishly. I wanted Glenn to come back here… . He had suffered as you have. He nearly died. But he fought—he fought—Oh! he went through hell! And after a long, slow, horrible struggle he began to mend. He worked. He went to raising hogs. He lived alone. He worked harder and harder… . The West and his work saved him, body and soul … . He had learned to love both the West and his work. I did not blame him. But I could not live out there. He needed me. But I was too little—too selfish. I could not marry him. I gave him up… . I left—him—alone!”

Carley shrank under the scorn in Rust’s eyes.

“And there’s another man,” he said, “a clean, straight, unscarred fellow who wouldn’t fight!”

“Oh, no-I—I swear there’s not,” whispered Carley.

“You, too,” he replied, thickly. Then slowly he turned that worn dark face to the wall. His frail breast heaved. And his lean hand made her a slight gesture of dismissal, significant and imperious.

Carley fled. She could scarcely see to find the car. All her internal being seemed convulsed, and a deadly faintness made her sick and cold.