Wild Bastard by Ella Savitskaya (most popular ebook readers .txt) 📗

Matthew listens, staring intently into my eyes. He presses his lips together tightly, as if he's trying to think about what's being said. I hope he hears me. I wish the two of them could be a real family now. I really want to cuddle up to him now, to squeeze my eyes shut, to sniff the smell of skin that has become so dear to me in a short period of time, to tell him that everything will be okay, but... I'm not sure it will.

"You flashed in a second and almost killed me when you saw the hickey. Didn't even ask where it came from. Didn't find out how. You're used to living your life so that everyone around you betrays you. Communicates with you for money or some other reason, and you should just try to open up." I smile bitterly, realizing the irony of the situation. "So do I. We both need to learn to trust. Talk. We need time.... "

"Rie..."

"I want to believe you, but I'm afraid. I'm afraid of getting attached and then being thrown away. You find similarities? You're trying to seem unshakable. All self-sufficient. You pretend like you don't need anyone. But if something happened to Lana, you wouldn't forgive yourself. So tell her that. Let her know she's not alone."

Words are hard to come by, because I realize that we both really need to calm down and rethink the consequences of the emotional explosion that left behind the gray ashes. I need a fresh start, to get rid of the dirt that has accumulated over the last few days, and he needs to let his family into his life and be prepared to experience pain and make mistakes.

I gently touch the tense prickly cheekbone with my fingers. I can't hold back the urge. I need this fleeting touch. The desire to stay with Matthew is so great that the contradictions inside begin a war. My throat tightens in a spasm. I take my hand away, and with the firm conviction that I'm doing the right thing, I turn around and walk out of the clinic.