The Broad Highway - Jeffery Farnol (urban books to read .txt) 📗

The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Broad Highway, by Jeffery Farnol #3 in our series by Jeffery Farnol

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Title: The Broad Highway

Author: Jeffery Farnol

Release Date: March, 2004 [EBook #5257] [Yes, we are more than one year ahead of schedule] [This file was first posted on June 16, 2002]

Edition: 10

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

START OF THE PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BROAD HIGHWAY ***

Etext prepared by Polly Stratton and Andrew Sly

The Broad Highway

by Jeffery Farnol

To Shirley Byron Jevons The friend of my boyish ambitions This book is dedicated As a mark of my gratitude, affection and esteem

J. F.

ANTE SCRIPTUM

As I sat of an early summer morning in the shade of a tree, eating fried bacon with a tinker, the thought came to me that I might some day write a book of my own: a book that should treat of the roads and by-roads, of trees, and wind in lonely places, of rapid brooks and lazy streams, of the glory of dawn, the glow of evening, and the purple solitude of night; a book of wayside inns and sequestered taverns; a book of country things and ways and people. And the thought pleased me much.

“But,” objected the Tinker, for I had spoken my thought aloud, “trees and suchlike don’t sound very interestin’—leastways—not in a book, for after all a tree’s only a tree and an inn, an inn; no, you must tell of other things as well.”

“Yes,” said I, a little damped, “to be sure there is a highwayman—”

“Come, that’s better!” said the Tinker encouragingly.

“Then,” I went on, ticking off each item on my fingers, “come Tom Cragg, the pugilist—”

“Better and better!” nodded the Tinker.

“—a one-legged soldier of the Peninsula, an adventure at a lonely tavern, a flight through woods at midnight pursued by desperate villains, and—a most extraordinary tinker. So far so good, I think, and it all sounds adventurous enough.”

“What!” cried the Tinker. “Would you put me in your book then?”

“Assuredly.”

“Why then,” said the Tinker, “it’s true I mends kettles, sharpens scissors and such, but I likewise peddles books an’ nov-els, an’ what’s more I reads ‘em—so, if you must put me in your book, you might call me a literary cove.”

“A literary cove?” said I.

“Ah!” said the Tinker, “it sounds better—a sight better—besides, I never read a nov-el with a tinker in it as I remember; they’re generally dooks, or earls, or barronites—nobody wants to read about a tinker.”

“That all depends,” said I; “a tinker may be much more interesting than an earl or even a duke.”

The Tinker examined the piece of bacon upon his knifepoint with a cold and disparaging eye.

“I’ve read a good many nov-els in my time,” said he, shaking his head, “and I knows what I’m talking of;” here he bolted the morsel of bacon with much apparent relish. “I’ve made love to duchesses, run off with heiresses, and fought dooels—ah! by the hundred—all between the covers of some book or other and enjoyed it uncommonly well—especially the dooels. If you can get a little blood into your book, so much the better; there’s nothing like a little blood in a book—not a great deal, but just enough to give it a ‘tang,’ so to speak; if you could kill your highwayman to start with it would be a very good beginning to your story.”

“I could do that, certainly,” said I, “but it would not be according to fact.”

“So much the better,” said the Tinker; “who wants facts in a nov-el?”

“Hum!” said I.

“And then again—”

“What more?” I inquired.

“Love!” said the Tinker, wiping his knife-blade on the leg of his breeches.

“Love?” I repeated.

“And plenty of it,” said the Tinker.

“I’m afraid that is impossible,” said I, after a moment’s thought.

“How impossible?”

Because I know nothing about love.”

“That’s a pity,” said the Tinker.

“Under the circumstances, it is,” said I.

“Not a doubt of it,” said the Tinker, beginning to scrub out the frying-pan with a handful of grass, “though to be sure you might learn; you’re young enough.”

“Yes, I might learn,” said I; “who knows?”

“Ah! who knows?” said the Tinker. And after he had cleansed the pan to his satisfaction, he turned to me with dexter finger upraised and brow of heavy portent. “Young fellow,” said he, “no man can write a good nov-el without he knows summat about love, it aren’t to be expected—so the sooner you do learn, the better.”

“Hum!” said I.

“And then, as I said afore and I say it again, they wants love in a book nowadays, and wot’s more they will have it.”

“They?” said I.

“The folk as will read your book—after it is written.”

“Ah! to be sure,” said I, somewhat taken aback; “I had forgotten them.”

“Forgotten them?” repeated the Tinker, staring.

“Forgotten that people might went to read it—after it is written.”

“But,” said the Tinker, rubbing his nose hard, “books are written for people to read, aren’t they?”

“Not always,” said I.

Hereupon the Tinker rubbed his nose harder than ever.

“Many of the world’s greatest books, those masterpieces which have lived and shall live on forever, were written (as I believe) for the pure love of writing them.”

“Oh!” said the Tinker.

“Yes,” said I, warming to my theme, “and with little or no idea of the eyes of those unborn generations which were to read and marvel at them; hence it is we get those sublime thoughts untrammelled by passing tastes and fashions, unbounded by narrow creed or popular prejudice.”

“Ah?” said the Tinker.

“Many a great writer has been spoiled by fashion and success, for, so soon as he begins to think upon his public, how best to please and hold their fancy (which is ever the most fickle of mundane things) straightway Genius spreads abroad his pinions and leaves him in the mire.”

“Poor cove!” said the Tinker. “Young man, you smile, I think?”

“No,” said I.

“Well, supposing a writer never had no gen’us—how then?”

“Why then,” said I, “he should never dare to write at all.”

“Young fellow,” said the Tinker, glancing at me from the corners of his eyes, “are you sure you are a gen’us then?”

Now when my companion said this I fell silent, for the very sufficient reason that I found nothing to say.

“Lord love you!” said he at last, seeing me thus “hipped”—“don’t be downhearted—don’t be dashed afore you begin; we can’t all be gen’uses—it aren’t to be expected, but some on us is a good deal better than most and that’s something arter all. As for your book, wot you have to do is to give ‘em a little blood now and then with plenty of love and you can’t go far wrong!”

Now whether the Tinker’s theory for the writing of a good novel be right or wrong, I will not presume to say. But in this book that lies before you, though you shall read, if you choose, of country things and ways and people, yet, because that part of my life herein recorded was a something hard, rough life, you shall read also of blood; and, because I came, in the end, to love very greatly, so shall you read of love.

Wherefore, then, I am emboldened to hope that when you shall have turned the last page and closed this book, you shall do so with a sigh.

P. V.

LONDON.

BOOK ONE

CHAPTER I

CHIEFLY CONCERNING MY UNCLE’S LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT

“‘And to my nephew, Maurice Vibart, I bequeath the sum of twenty thousand pounds in the fervent hope that it may help him to the devil within the year, or as soon after as may be.’”

Here Mr. Grainger paused in his reading to glance up over the rim of his spectacles, while Sir Richard lay back in his chair and laughed loudly. “Gad!” he exclaimed, still chuckling, “I’d give a hundred pounds if he could have been present to hear that,” and the baronet went off into another roar of merriment.

Mr. Grainger, on the other hand, dignified and solemn, coughed a short, dry cough behind his hand.

“Help him to the devil within the year,” repeated Sir Richard, still chuckling.

“Pray proceed, sir,” said I, motioning towards the will…. But instead of complying, Mr. Grainger laid down the parchment, and removing his spectacles, began to polish them with a large silk handkerchief.

“You are, I believe, unacquainted with your cousin, Sir Maurice Vibart?” he inquired.

“I have never seen him,” said I; “all my life has been passed either at school or the university, but I have frequently heard mention of him, nevertheless.”

“Egad!” cried Sir Richard, “who hasn’t heard of Buck Vibart—beat Ted Jarraway of Swansea in five rounds—drove coach and four down Whitehall—on sidewalk—ran away with a French marquise while but a boy of twenty, and shot her husband into the bargain. Devilish celebrated figure in ‘sporting circles,’ friend of the Prince Regent—”

“So I understand,” said I.

“Altogether as complete a young blackguard as ever swaggered down St. James’s.” Having said which, Sir Richard crossed his legs and inhaled a pinch of snuff.

“Twenty thousand pounds is a very handsome sum,” remarked Mr. Grainger ponderously and as though more with the intention of saying something rather than remain silent just then.

“Indeed it is,” said I, “and might help a man to the devil as comfortably as need be, but—”

“Though,” pursued Mr. Grainger, “much below his expectations and sadly inadequate to his present needs, I fear.”

“That is most unfortunate,” said I, “but—”

“His debts,” said Mr. Grainger, busy at his spectacles again, “his debts are very heavy, I believe.”

“Then doubtless some arrangement can be made to—but continue your reading, I beg,” said I.

Mr. Grainger repeated his short, dry cough and taking up the will, slowly and almost as though unwillingly, cleared his throat and began as follows:

“‘Furthermore,