The Adventures of Gil Blas of Santillane - Alain René le Sage (best fiction books of all time .txt) 📗

their method of teaching the classics.

I went into Toledo with as light a heart as if I had known where

to get my daily bread. To be sure, it is a town of ways and

means, where a man who can live by his wits need never die of

hunger. Scarcely had I reached the high street, when a well-dressed gentleman by whom I brushed, caught me by the arm,

saying: My little fellow, do you want a place? You are just such

a smart lad as I was looking for. And you are just the master for

my money, answered I. Since that is the case, rejoined he, you

are mine from this moment, and have only to follow me, which I

did without asking any more questions.

 

This spark, about the age of thirty, and bearing the name of Don

Abel, lodged in very handsome ready-furnished apartments. He was

by profession a blacklegs; and the following was the nature of

our engagement. In the morning I got him as much tobacco as would

smoke five or six pipes; brushed his clothes, and ran for a

barber to shave him and trim his whiskers; after which he made

the circle of the tennis-courts, whence he never returned home

till eleven or twelve at night. But every morning, at going out,

he gave me three reals for the expenses of the day, leaving me

master of my own time till ten o’clock in the evening; and

provided I was within-doors by his return, all was well. He gave

me a livery besides, in which I looked like a little lackey of

illicit love. I took very kindly to my condition, and certainly

could not have met with any more congenial with my temper.

 

Such and so happy had been my way of life for nearly a month,

when my employer inquired whether I liked his service; and on my

answer in the affirmative, Well, then, resumed he, to-morrow we

shall set out for Seville, whither my concerns call me. You will

not be sorry to see the capital of Andalusia. “He that hath not

Seville seen,” says the proverb. “Is no traveller I ween.” I

engaged at once to follow him all over the world. On that very

day, the Seville carrier fetched away a large trunk with my

master’s wardrobe, and on the next morning we were on the road

for Andalusia.

 

Signor Don Abel was so lucky at play, that he never lost but when

it was convenient; but then it was seldom convenient to stay long

in a place, because those who are always losers find out at last,

that though chance is a dangerous antagonist, certainly it is a

desperate one; and that accounted for our journey. On our arrival

at Seville, we took lodgings near the Cordova gate, and resumed

the same mode of life as at Toledo. But my master found some

difference between the two towns. The Seville tennis-courts could

produce players equally in fortune’s good graces with himself; so

that he sometimes came home a good deal out of humour. One

morning, when he was biting the bridle for the loss of a hundred

pistoles the day before, he asked why I had not carried his linen

to the laundress. I pleaded forgetfulness. Thereupon, flying into

a passion, be gave me half-a-dozen boxes on the ear, in such a

style, as to kindle an illumination in my blinking eyes, to which

the glories of Solomon’s temple were no more to be compared, than

the torches in a Candlemas procession to a rushlight. There is

for you, you little scoundrel! said he; take that, and learn to

mind your business. Must I be eternally at your heels to remind

you of what you are to do? Are your brains in your belly, and all

your wits in your grinders? You are not a downright idiot! Then

why not prevent my wants and anticipate my orders? After this

experimental lecture, he went out for the day, leaving me in high

dudgeon, at a reprimand so much in the manner of my friend the

ostler, for such a trifle as not getting up his things for the

wash.

 

I could never learn what happened to him a short time after at a

tennis-court; but one evening he came home in a terrible heat.

Scipio, said he, I am bent on going to Italy, and must embark the

day after to-morrow on board a vessel bound for Genoa. I have my

reasons for making this little excursion; of course you will be

glad to attend me, and to profit by so fine an opportunity of

seeing the loveliest country on the face of the earth. My tongue

gave consent; but with a salvo in my heart and a bargain with my

revenge, to give him the slip just at the moment of embarkation.

This was so delightful a scheme, that I could not help imparting

it to a bully by profession, whom I met in the street. During my

abode in Seville, I had picked up some awkward acquaintance, and

this was one of the most ungainly. I told him how and why my ears

had been boxed, and then communicated my project of running away

from Don Abel just before the ship was to sail, begging to know

what he thought of the plan.

 

My bluff adviser puckered his eyebrows while he listened, and

fiddled with his fingers about his whiskers: then, blaming my

master very seriously, My little hero, said he, you are eternally

disgraced, can never shew your face again, if you sit down

quietly with so paltry a satisfaction as what you propose. To let

Don Abel go off by himself, would be a poor revenge for wrongs

like yours; the punishment should be proportioned to his crime.

Let us fine him to the full amount of his purse and effects,

which we will share like brothers after he is gone. Now it is to

be noted, that though thieving fell in very naturally with the

bent of my genius, the proposal rather startled me, as the

robbery was upon a large scale for so young an apprentice.

 

And yet the arch deceiver of my innocence found the means of

working me up to the perpetration, so that the result of our

enterprise was as follows. This glorious ruffian, a tall, brawny

fellow, came in the evening about twilight to our lodging. I

shewed my master’s travelling trunk ready packed, and asked him

whether he could carry so heavy a load upon his shoulders. So

heavy as that! said he: shew me where a transfer of property is

to be made in my favour, and I could run with Noah’s ark to the

top of Mount Ararat. To prove his words, he felt the trunk, flung

it carelessly over his back, and scampered down-stairs, I

followed nimbly; and we had just got to the street door, when Don

Abel, brought home in the nick of time by the ascendancy of his

lucky stars, stood like an apparition, to appal our guilty souls.

 

Whither are you going with that trunk? said he. I was so taken by

surprise that my assurance failed me; and broad-shoulders,

finding that he had drawn a blank in the lottery, threw down his

booty, and took to his heels, rather than be troubled for an

explanation. Once more, whither are you going with that trunk?

said my master. Sir, answered I, with all the honest simplicity

of a criminal, pleading in arrest of judgment, I was going to put

it on board the vessel, that we might have the less to do to-morrow, before we embark ourselves. Indeed! Then you know,

retorted he, in what ship I have taken my passage? No, sir,

replied I! but those who can talk Latin may always find their way

to Rome: I should have inquired at the port, and somebody would

have informed me. At this explanation, which left his opinion

where it found it, he darted a furious glance at me. I thought

for all the world, he was going to cuff me again about the head.

Who ordered you, cried he, to take my trunk out of this house?

You, your own self; said I. Can you possibly have forgotten how

you rated me but a few days ago? Did you not tell me, with a flea

in my ear, that you would have me prevent your wants, and do

beforehand from my own head whatever your service might require?

Now, not to be threshed a second time for want of forethought, I

was seeing your trunk safe and soon enough on board. On this the

gamester, finding that I had cut my teeth of wisdom sooner than

suited his purpose, turned me off very coolly, saying: Go about

your business, master Scipio, and speed as you may deserve. I do

not like to play with folks who are in the habit of revoking. Get

out of my sight, or I shall set your solfeggio in a crying key.

 

I spared him the trouble of telling me to go twice. Off I shot

like an arrow, for fear he should unfledge me, by taking away my

livery. When distant enough to slacken my pace, I walked along in

the streets, musing whither I might betake myself for a night’s

lodging, with only two reals in my pocket. The gate of the

archbishop’s palace at length stared me in the face; and, as his

grace’s supper was then dressing, a savoury odour exhaled from

the kitchens, impregnating the gale with soup and sauce for a

mile round. Ods haricots and cutlets! thought I, it would be no

hard matter for me to dispense with one of those little side

dishes, which will be of no use to the archbishop but to make out

the figure of his table: nay, I would be contented only just to

dip in my four fingers and thumb, and then to sup like a bear

upon suckings. But how to accomplish it! Is there no way of

bringing these choice morsels to a better test than that of

smell? And why not? Hunger, they say, will break through stone

walls. On this idea did I set my wits to work; and, by dint of

conning over the subject, a stratagem struck me, which set my

lungs as well as appetite in motion, just as the old carpenter

kept bawling, “I have found it,” like a madman, when he had hit

the right nail of his proposition on the head. I ran into the

court of the palace, and made the best of my way to the kitchens,

calling out with all my might, “Help! help!” as if some assassin

had been at my heels.

 

At my reiterated cries master Diego, the archbishop’s cook, ran

with three or four kitchen drudges to learn what was the matter;

and seeing only me, asked why I roared so loud. Ah! good sir,

answered I, with every token of exquisite distress, for mercy’s

sake and for St Polycarp’s! save me, I beseech you, from the fury

of a blusterer, who swears he will kill me. But where is this

disturber of the public peace? cried Diego. You have no one to

quarrel with but yourself; for I do not see so much as a cat to

spit at you. Go your ways, my little man, and do not be afraid;

it is evidently some wag who has been playing upon your cowardice

for his diversion; but he knew better than to follow you within

these walls, for we would have cut his ears off at the least. No,

no, said I, it was for no laughing matter that he ran after me.

He is a noted footpad, and meant to rob me; I am certain that he

is now