The Adventures of Gil Blas of Santillane - Alain René le Sage (best fiction books of all time .txt) 📗
- Author: Alain René le Sage
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wait long enough, replied the knight of the iron spit; for you
shall stay here till to-morrow. You shall sup with us, and we
will give you a bed.
I was out of my little wits with joy at the mention of these last
tidings; and it was like the turnpike road to paradise after
crossing an Arabian desert, when being led by master Diego
through the kitchens, I there saw my lord archbishop’s supper,
and the stew-pans in the last throes of parturition. There were
fifteen accountable souls, for I reckoned them up, in attendance
on the labour; but the litter of dishes far outnumbered the
fecundity of nature in her most prolific mood: so much more
gracious and bountiful is providence to the heads of the church
in the indulgence of their appetites, than mindful of the
worthless brute creation in the propagation of its kind. Here it
was, at the fountain-head of prelacy, inhaling an atmosphere of
gravy, instead of just snuffing the scent as it lay upon the
breeze, that I first shook hands with sensuality. I had the
honour of supping with the scullions, and of sleeping in their
room; an initiation of friendship so sincere and strong, that on
the following day, when I went to thank master Diego for his
goodness in vouchsafing me a refuge, he said: Our kitchen lads
have been with me in a body, to declare how excessively delighted
they are with your manners, and to propose having you among them
as a fellow-servant. How should you, on your part, like to make
one of the society? I answered that, with such a feather in my
cap, I should be the vainest and the happiest of mortals. Then so
be it, my friend, replied he; consider yourself henceforth as a
buttress of the hierarchy. With this invitation, he introduced me
to the major-domo, who thought he saw talent enough in me for a
turnspit.
No sooner was I in possession of so honourable an office, than
master Diego, following the practice of cooks in great houses,
who pamper up their pretty dears in private with all sorts of
good things, selected me to supply a lady in the neighbourhood
with a regular table of butcher’s meat, poultry, and game. This
good friend of his was a widow on the right side of thirty, very
pretty, very lively, and to all appearance contenting herself
with cupboard love for her cook. His generous passion was not
confined to furnishing her with bread, meat, and garnish; she
drank her wine too, and the archbishop was her wine-merchant.
The improvement of my parts kept pace with that of my carnal
condition in his grace’s palace: where I gave a specimen of
rising genius, still ringing on the trump of fame at Seville. The
pages and some others of the household had a mind to get up a
play on my lord archbishop’s birthday. They chose a popular
Spanish tragedy; and wanting a boy about my age to personate the
young King of Leon, cast me for the part. The major-domo, a great
spouter, undertook to train me for the stage; and after a few
lessons, pronounced that I should not be the worst actor of the
company. His grace not wishing to starve so handsome a compliment
to himself, no expense was spared in getting it up magnificently.
The largest hall in the palace was fitted up as a theatre, with
appropriate decorations. At the side scene there was a bed of
turf, on which I was to be discovered asleep, when the Moors were
to rush in and take me prisoner. When we had got so forward with
our rehearsals as to be sure of being ready by the time fixed,
the archbishop sent out cards of invitation to all the principal
families in the city.
At length the great, the important day arrived; and each
performer was big with the contrivance and adjustment of his
dress. Mine was brought by a tailor, accompanied by our major-domo, who, after taking the trouble of drilling me at rehearsal,
wished to see justice done to my outward appearance. The tailor
put me on a rich robe of blue velvet, with hanging sleeves, gold
lace, fringe, and buttons: the major-domo himself crowned me with
a pasteboard crown, studded with false diamonds and real pearls.
Moreover, they gave me a sash of pink silk worked in silver; so
that every new ornament was like a quill-feather in the wing of a
bird. At last, about dusk, the play began. The curtain drew up
for my soliloquy; the purport of which was to express, in a
roundabout, poetical way, that not being able to defend myself
from the influence of sleep, I was going to lie down and take it
as it came. To suit the action to the word, I sidled off to the
corner between the flat and the wings, and squatted down on my
bed of turf, but instead of going to sleep, according to promise,
I was hammering upon the means of getting into the street, and
running away with my coronation finery. A little private
staircase, leading under the theatre into the lower saloon,
seemed to furnish the probability of success. I slid away slily,
while the audience were considering some necessary question of
the play, and ran down the staircase, through the saloon, to the
door, calling out, “Make way! make way! I must change my dress,
and run up again in a moment!” They all made a lane, for fear of
hindering me; so that in less than two minutes I got clear out of
the palace, under cover of the darkness, and scampered to the
house of my friend who saw gentlemen’s trunks safe on board.
He stared like a stuck pig at my equipment l But when I let him
into the why and the wherefore, he laughed ready to split his
sides. Then, shaking hands in the sincerity of his heart, because
he flattered himself with the hope of a pension on the King of
Leon’s civil list, he wished me joy of so successful a first
appearance, and joined issue with the major-domo in the
prognostic, that with encouragement and practice I should turn
out a first-rate actor, and make no little noise in the world.
After we had diverted ourselves for some time at the expense of
my manager and audience, I said to the bully — What shall we do
with this magnificent dress? Do not make yourself uneasy about
that, answered he. I know an honest broker, without an atom of
curiosity in his composition, who will buy or sell anything with
any person, provided that he gets the turn of the market upon the
transaction. I will fetch him to you to-morrow morning. The
knowing fellow was as good as his word; for he went out early the
next day, leaving me in bed, and returned two hours afterwards
with the broker, carrying a yellow bundle under his arm. My
friend, said he, give me leave to introduce Signor Ybagnez of
Segovia, who, in spite of the bad example set him by the trade in
general, trusts to fair dealing and small profits for a moderate
pittance and an unblemished character. He will tell you to a
fraction what the dress you want to part with is really worth,
and you may take his calculation as the balance of justice,
between, man and man. Oh yes I to a nicety, said the broker. Else
wherefore live I in a Christian land, but to appraise for my
neighbour as for myself? To take a mean advantage never was,
thank heaven! and at these years never shall be, imputed to
Ybagnez of Segovia. Let us look a little at those articles! You
are the seller; I am the buyer! We have only to agree upon an
equitable price. Here they are, said the bully, pulling them out:
now own the truth, was there ever anything more magnificent? You
do not often see such velvet: and then the trimming! You cannot
say too much of it, answered the salesman, examining the suit
with the prying eye of a dealer, it is of the very first quality.
And what think you of the pearls upon this crown? resumed my
friend. A little rounder, observed Ybagnez, and there would be no
setting a price upon them! however, take them as they are, it is
a very fine set, and I do not want to find fault about trifles.
Now your common run of appraisers, under my circumstances, would
affect to disparage the goods for the sake of getting them
cheaper; one of those fellows would have the conscience to offer
twenty pistoles; but there is nothing like bargaining with an
upright, downright man! I will give forty at a word; take them or
leave them!
Had Ybagnez ventured up to a hundred, he would not have burned
his fingers; for the pearls alone would have fetched two hundred
anywhere. The bully, who went snacks, then said — Now only look!
what a mercy it is, to fall into the hands of a man not of this
world. Signor Ybagnez estimates money as dross, in comparison of
his principles and his soul. He may die to-night, and yet not be
taken unprepared! That is too much! You make me blush, said the
salesman of principle and soul; but so far is true, that my price
is always fixed. Well, now, is it a bargain? The money down upon
the nail too! Stop a moment! answered the bully; my little friend
must first try on the clothes you have brought for him by my
order: I am very much mistaken if they will not just fit him. The
salesman then, untying his bundle, shewed me a second-hand suit
of dark cloth with silver buttons. I got up, and got into it; too
big for me every way! but these gentlemen could have sworn it had
been made to my measure. Ybagnez put it at ten pistoles; and as
he was an upright, downright man, of fixed principle and soul,
estimating money as dross in comparison of integrity, his first
price was of course his last. He therefore took out his purse,
and counted down thirty pistoles upon a table; after which he
packed up the King of Leon’s regalia, and went his way.
When he was gone, the bully said — I am very well satisfied with
that broker. And so he well might be; for I am certain he must
have received at least a hundred pistoles as hush-money. But
there was no reason why the broker’s benevolence should pay the
debts of my gratitude: so he took half the money on the table,
without saying with your leave or by your leave, and suffered me
to pocket the remainder, with the following advice: My dear
Scipio, with that balance of fifteen pistoles, I would have you
get out of this town as fast as you can; for you may suppose that
my lord archbishop will ferret you out if you are above-ground.
It would grieve me to the heart if, after having risen so
superior to the prejudice of honesty, you had the weakness to
fall foul of what alone keeps it afloat, the house of correction.
I answered that it was my fixed purpose to make myself scarce at
Seville, and accordingly, after buying a hat and some shirts, I
travelled through vineyards and olive groves to the ancient city
of Carmona; and in three days afterwards arrived at Cordova.
I put up at an inn close by the market-place, giving myself out
for the heir of a good family at Toledo, travelling for his
pleasure. My appearance did not belie the story, and a few
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