MONSIEUR VIOLET (FISCLE PART-IV) - FREDERICK MARRYAT (books to read this summer txt) 📗

That If The Gates Of The Gaol Were Closed at Night,

The Community Would Be Much Improved.

 

 

 

Three Days Afterwards, A Poor Captain, From A Boston Vessel, Was

Summoned for The Very Identical Bank-Note, Which He Was Obliged to Pay,

Though He Had Never Set His Foot Into The Tremont Hotel.

 

 

 

There Is In galveston A New-Invented trade, Called "The Rag-Trade,"

Which Is Very Profitable. I Refer To The Purchasing and Selling Of False

Bank-Notes, Which Are, As In the Lawyer'S Case, Palmed upon Any Stranger

Suspected of Having Money. On Such Occasions, The Magistrate And The

Plaintiff Share The Booty. I May As Well Here Add A Fact Which Is Well

Known In france And The United states. Eight Days After The Marquis De

Saligny'S (French Charge D'Affaires) Arrival In houston, He Was Summoned

Before A Magistrate, And Upon The Oaths Of The Parties, Found Guilty Of

Having Passed seven Hundred dollars In false Notes To A Land Speculator.

He Paid The Money, But As He Never Had Had In his Possession Any Money,

Except French Gold And Notes Of The Banque De France, He Complained to

His Government; And This Specimen Of Texan Honesty Was The Principal

Cause Why The Banker (Lafitte) Suddenly Broke The Arrangement He Had

Entered into With General Hamilton (Charge D'Affaires From Texas To

England And France) For A Loan Of Seven Millions Of Dollars.

Chapter XXVIII

We Had Now Entered a Tract Of Land Similar To That Which We Had

Travelled over When On Our Route From The Wakoes To The Comanches. The

Prairie Was Often Intersected by Chasms, The Bottoms Of Which Were

Perfectly Dry, So That We Could Procure Water But Once Every Twenty-Four

Hours, And That, Too Often So Hot And So Muddy, That Even Our Poor

Horses Would Not Drink It Freely. They Had, However, The Advantage Over

Us In point Of Feeding, For The Grass Was Sweet And Tender, And

Moistened during Night By The Heavy Dews; As For Ourselves, We Were

Beginning To Starve In earnest.

 

 

 

We Had Anticipated regaling Ourselves With The Juicy Humps Of The

Buffaloes Which We Should Kill, But Although We Had Entered the Very

Heart Of Their Great Pasture-Land, We Had Not Met With One, Nor Even

With A Ground-Hog; A Snake, Or A Frog. One Evening, The Pangs Of Hunger

Became So Sharp That We Were Obliged to Chew Tobacco And Pieces Of

Leather To Allay Our Cravings; And We Determined that If, The Next Day

At Sunset We Had No Better Fortune, We Would Draw Lots To Kill One Of

Our Horses. That Evening We Could Not Sleep, And As Murmuring Was Of No

Avail, The Divine Entertained us With A Texan Story, Just, As He Said,

To Pump The Superfluous Air Out Of His Body. I Shall Give It In his

Own Terms:--

 

 

 

"Well, I Was Coming Down The Wabash River (Indiana), When, As It Happens

Nine Times Out Of Ten, The Steam-Boat Got Aground, And That So Firmly,

That There Was No Hope Of Her Floating again Till The Next Flood; So I

Took My Wallet, Waded for Two Hundred yards, With The Water To My Knees,

Till I Got Safe On Shore, Upon A Thick-Timbered bank, Full Of

Rattle-Snakes, Thorns Of The Locust-Tree, And Spiders' Webs, So Strong,

That I Was Obliged to Cut Them With My Nose, To Clear The Way Before Me.

I Soon Got So Entangled by The Vines And The Briars That I Thought I Had

Better Turn My Back To The Stream Till I Should Get To The Upland, Which

I Could Now And Then Perceive Through The Clearings Opened between The

Trees By Recent Thunder-Storms. Unhappily, Between The Upland And The

Little Ridge On Which I Stood There Was A Wide River Bottom[24], Into

Which I Had Scarcely Advanced fifty Yards When I Got Bogged. Well, It

Took Me A Long While To Get Out Of My Miry Hole, Where I Was As Fast As

A Swine In its Arkansas Sty; And Then I Looked about For My Wallet,

Which I Had Dropped. I Could See Which Way It Had Gone, For, Close To

The Yawning Circle From Which I Had Just Extricated myself, There Was

Another Smaller One Two Yards Off, Into Which My Wallet Had Sunk Deep,

Though It Was Comfortably Light; Which Goes To Illustrate The Indiana

Saying, That There Is No Conscience So Light But Will Sink In the Bottom

Of The Wabash. Well, I Did Not Care Much, As In my Wallet I Had Only An

Old Coloured shirt And A Dozen Of My Own Sermons, Which I Knew By Heart,

Having Repeated them A Hundred times Over.

 

 

 

[Footnote 24: River Bottom Is A Space, Sometimes Of Many Miles In width,

On The Side Of The River, Running Parallel With It. It Is Always Very

Valuable And Productive Land, But Unhealthy, And Dangerous To Cross,

From Its Boggy Nature.]

 

 

 

"Being Now In a Regular Fix, I Cut A Stick, And Began Wittling and

Whistling, To Lighten My Sorrows, Till At Last I Perceived at The Bank

Of The River, And Five Hundred yards Ahead, One Of Those Large Rafts,

Constructed pretty Much Like Noah'S Ark, In which A Wabash Farmer

Embarks His Cargo Of Women And Fleas, Pigs And Chickens, Corn, Whisky,

Rats, Sheep, And Stolen Niggers; Indeed, In most Cases, The Whole Of The

Cargo Is Stolen, Except The Wife And Children, The Only Portion Whom The

Owner Would Very Much Like To Be Rid Of; But These Will Stick To Him As

Naturally As A Prairie Fly To A Horse, As Long As He Has Spirits To

Drink, Pigs To Attend To, And Breeches To Mend.

 

 

 

"Well, As She Was Close To The Bank, I Got In. The Owner Was General

John Meyer, From Vincennes, And His Three Sons, The Colonel, The

Captain, And The Judge. They Lent Me A Sort Of Thing, Which Many Years

Before Had Probably Been A Horse-Blanket. With It I Covered myself,

While One Of The *'Boys Spread My Clothes To Dry, And, As I Had Nothing

Left In the World, Except Thirty Dollars In my Pocket-Book, I Kept That

Constantly In my Hand Till The Evening, When, My Clothes Being Dried, I

Recovered the Use Of My Pocket. The General Was Free With His 'Wabash

Water' (Western Appellation For Whisky), And, Finding Me To His Taste,

As He Said, He Offered me A Passage Gratis To New Orleans, If I Could

But Submit Myself To His Homely Fare; That Is To Say, Salt Pork, With

Plenty Of Gravy, Four Times A Day, And A Decoction Of Burnt Bran And

Grains Of Maize, Going Under The Name Of Coffee All Over The States--The

Whisky Was To Be _Ad Libitum_.

 

 

 

"As I Considered the Terms Moderate, I Agreed, And The Hospitable

General Soon Entrusted me With His Plans. He Had Gone Many Times To

Texas; He Loved texas--It Was A Free Country, According To His Heart;

And Now He Had Collected all His Own (He Might Have Said, 'And Other

People'S Too'), To Go To New Orleans, Where His Pigs And Corn, Exchanged

Against Goods, Would Enable Him To Settle With His Family In texas In a

Gallant Style. Upon My Inquiring What Could Be The Cause Of A Certain

Abominable Smell Which Pervaded the Cabin, He Apprized me That, In a

Small Closet Adjoining, He Had Secured a Dozen Of Runaway Negroes, For

The Apprehension Of Whom He Would Be Well Rewarded.

 

 

 

"Well, The Next Morning We Went On Pretty Snugly, And I Had Nothing To

Complain Of, Except The Fleas And The 'Gals,' Who Bothered me Not A

Little. Three Days Afterwards We Entered the Ohio, And The Current Being

Very Strong, I Began To Think Myself Fortunate, As I Should Reach New

Orleans In less Than Forty Days, Passage Free. We Went On Till Night,

When We Stopped, Three Or Four Miles From The Junction With The

Mississippi. The Cabin Being Very Warm, And The Deck In possession Of

The Pigs, I Thought I Would Sleep Ashore, Under A Tree. The General Said

It Was A Capital Plan, And, After Having Drained half A Dozen Cups Of

'Stiff, True, Downright Yankee No. 1,' We All Of Us Took Our Blankets (I

Mean The White-Skinned party), And Having Lighted a Great Fire, The

General, The Colonel, The Major, And The Judge Lay Down,--An Example

Which I Followed as Soon As I Had Neatly Folded up My Coat And Fixed it

Upon A Bush, With My Hat And Boots, For I Was Now Getting Particular,

And Wished to Cut A Figure In new Orleans; My Thoughts Running Upon

Plump And Rich Widows, Which You Know Are The Only Provision For Us

Preachers.

 

 

 

"Well, My Dreams Were Nothing But The Continuation Of My Thoughts During

The Day. I Fancied i Was Married, And The Owner Of A Large Sugar

Plantation. I Had A Good Soft Bed, And My Pious Wife Was Feeling about

Me With Her Soft Hands, Probably To See If My Heart Beat Quick, And If I

Had Good Dreams;--A Pity I Did Not Awake Then, For I Should Have Saved

My Dollars, As The Hand Which I Was Dreaming Of Was That Of The

Hospitable General Searching For My Pocket-Book. It Was Late When I

Opened my Eyes--And, Lo! The Sleepers Were Gone, With The Boat, My

Boots, My Coat, My Hat, And, I Soon Found, With My Money. I Had Been

Left Alone, With A Greasy Mackinaw Blanket, And As In my Stupefaction I

Gazed all Round, And Up And Down, I Saw My Pocket-Book Empty, Which The

Generous General Had Humanely Left To Me To Put Other Notes In, 'When I

Could Get Any.' I Kicked it With My Foot, And Should Indubitably Have

Been Food For Cat-Fish, Had I Not Heard Most _A Propos_ The Puffing Of A

Steam-Boat Coming Down The River."

 

 

 

At That Moment The Parson Interrupted his Narrative, By Observing:

 

 

 

"Well, I'D No Idea That I Had Talked so Long; Why, Man, Look To The

East, 'Tis Almost Daylight."

 

 

 

And Sure Enough The Horizon Of The Prairie Was Skirted with That Red

Tinge Which Always Announces The Break Of Day In these Immense Level

Solitudes. Our Companions Had All Fallen Asleep, And Our Horses, Looking

To The East, Snuffed the Air And Stamped upon The Ground, As If To

Express Their Impatience To Leave So Inhospitable A Region, I Replied to

The Parson:--

 

 

 

"It Is Now Too Late For Us To Think Of Sleeping; Let Us Stir The Fire,

And Go On With Your Story."

 

 

 

We Added fuel To The Nearly Consumed pile, And Shaking Our Blankets,

Which Were Heavy With The Dew, My Companion Resumed his Narrative:--

 

 

 

"Well, I Reckon It Was More Than Half An Hour Before The Steam-Boat Came

In Sight, And As The Channel Of The River Ran Close In with The Shore, I

Was Soon Picked up. The Boat Was Going To St. Louis, And As I Had Not A

Cent Left To Pay My Passage, I Was Obliged, In way Of Payment, To Relate

My Adventure. Everybody Laughed. All The Men Declared the Joke Was

Excellent, And That General Meyer Was A Clever Rascal; They Told Me I

Should Undoubtedly Meet Him At New Orleans, But It Would Be Of No Use.

Everybody Knew Meyer And His Pious Family, But He Was So Smart, That

Nothing Could Be Done Against Him. Well, The Clerk Was A Good-Humoured

Fellow; He Lent Me An Old Coat And Five Dollars; The Steward Brought Me

A Pair Of Slippers, And Somebody Gave Me A Worn-Out Loose Cap. This Was

Very Good, But My Luck Was Better Still. The Cause Of My Own Ruin Had

Been The Grounding Of A Steam-Boat; The Same Accident Happening again

Set Me On My Legs. Just As We Turned the Southern Point Of Illinois, We

Buried ourselves In a Safe Bed of Mud. It Was So Common An Occurrence,

That Nobody Cared much About It, Except A Philadelphian Going To Texas;

He Was In a Great Hurry To Go On Westward, And No Wonder. I Learned

Afterwards That He Had Absconded from The