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Their Merriment That They Were Obliged to Hold Their

Sides. Slick Laughed too, Yet Losing No Time; In a Moment He Presented

The Gentlemen With The Sparkling Liquor. They Took Their Glasses, Drank

His Health, And Then Recommenced their Mirth.

 

 

 

"'And So You Lost The Wager?' Asked no. 2.

 

 

 

"'Yes, By Heaven, I Paid The Hundred dollars, And, What Was Worse, Was

Laughed at By Everybody.'

 

 

 

"Slick Was Sadly Puzzled; The Young Men Had Been Laughing, They Were Now

Talking Of A Bet, And He Knew Nothing Of It. He Was Mightily

Inquisitive; And Knowing, By Experience, That Wine Opens The Heart And

Unlooses The Tongue, He Made An Attempt To Ascertain The Cause Of The

Merriment.

 

 

 

"'I Beg Your Pardon, Gentlemen, If I Make Too Bold; But Please, What Was

The Subject Of The Wager, The Recollection Of Which Puts You In so Good

A Humour?'

 

 

 

"'I'Ll Tell You,' Exclaimed no. 1, 'And You Will See What A Fool I Have

Made Of Myself. You Must Know That It Is Impossible To Follow The

Pendulum Of The Clock With The Hand, And To Repeat "Here She Goes--There

See Goes," Just As It Swings To And Fro, That Is When People Are Talking

All Round You, As It Puts You Out. One Day I Was With A Set Of Jolly

Fellows In a Dining-Room, With A Clock Just Like This In your Room; The

Conversation Fell Upon The Difficulty Of Going On "Here She Goes," And

"There She Goes," For Half An Hour, Without Making a Mistake. Well, I

Thought It Was The Easiest Thing In the World To Do It; And Upon My

Saying So, I Was Defied to Do It: The Consequence Was The Bet Of A

Hundred dollars, And, Having agreed that They Could Talk To Me As Much

As They Pleased, But Not Touch Me, I Posted myself Before The Clock And

Went On--"Here She Goes, There She Goes," While Some Of My Companions

Began Singing, Some Shouting, And Some Laughing. Well, After Three

Minutes I Felt That The Task Was Much More Difficult Than I Had

Expected; But Yet I Went On, Till I Heard Somebody Saying, "As I Am

Alive There Is Miss Reynolds Walking arm-In-Arm With That Lucky Dog,

Jenkins." Now, You Must Know, Landlord, That Miss Reynolds Was My

Sweetheart, And Jenkins My Greatest Enemy, So I Rushed to The Window To

See If It Was True, And At That Moment A Roar Of Laughter Announced to

Me That I Had Lost The Bet.'

 

 

 

"Now, Slick Bradley, As I Have Said, Was Very Fond Of Betting. Moreover,

He Prided himself Not A Little Upon His Self-Command, And As He Had Not

Any Mistress To Be Jealous Of, As Soon As The Gentleman Had Finished his

Story He Came At Once To The Point.

 

 

 

"'Well,' Said He, 'You Lost The Wager, But It Don'T Signify. I Think

Myself, As You Did, That It Is The Easiest Thing In the World. I Am Sure

I Could Do It Half An Hour, Aye, And An Hour Too.'

 

 

 

"The Gentlemen Laughed, And Said They Knew Better, And The Now Excited

Host Proposed, If The Liberty Did Not Offend Them, To Make Any Bet That

He Could Do It For Half An Hour. At First They Objected, Under The Plea

That They Would Not Like To Win His Money, As They Were Certain He Had

No Chance; But Upon His Insisting, They Consented to Bet Twenty

Dollars; And Slick, Putting Himself Face To Face With His Great

Grandfather'S Clock, Began Following The Pendulum With His Hand,

Repeating 'Here She Goes, There She Goes.'

 

 

 

"The Two Gentlemen Discovered many Wonderful Things Through The Window:

First A Sailor Had Murdered a Woman, Next The Stage Had Just Capsized,

And Afterwards They Were Sure That The Shop Next Door Was On Fire. Slick

Winked and Smiled complacently, Without Leaving His Position. He Was Too

Old A Fox To Be Taken By Such Childish Tricks. All At Once, No. 2

Observed to No. 1, That The Bet Would Not Keep Good, As The Stakes Had

Not Been Laid Down, And Both Addressed the Host At The Same Time, 'Not

Cunning Enough For Me,' Thought Slick; And Poking His Left Hand Into The

Right Pocket Of His Waistcoat, He Took Out His Pocket-Book Containing

The Larger Notes, And Handed it To His Customers.

 

 

 

"'Now,' Exclaimed no. 2 To His Companion, 'I Am Sure You Will Lose The

Wager; The Fellow Is Imperturbable; Nothing Can Move Him.'

 

 

 

"'Wait A Bit; I'Ll Soon Make Him Leave Off,' Whispered the Other, Loud

Enough For Slick To Hear Him.

 

 

 

"'Landlord,' Continued he, 'We Trust To Your Honour To Go On For Half An

Hour; We Will Now Have A Talk With Bonny Mrs. Slick.' Saying This, They

Quitted the Room Without Closing The Door.

 

 

 

"Slick Was Not Jealous; Not He. Besides, The Bar Was Full Of People; It

Was All A Trick Of The Gents, Who Were Behind The Door Watching Him.

After All, They Were But Novices, And He Would Win Their Money: He Only

Regretted that The Bet Had Not Been Heavier.

 

 

 

"Twenty Minutes Had Fairly Passed, When Slick'S Own Little Boy Entered

The Room. 'Pa,' Said He, 'There Is A Gemman What Wants You Below In

The Bar.'

 

 

 

"'Another Trick,' Thought The Landlord; 'They Shan'T Have Me,

Though.--Here She Goes, There She Goes.' And As The Boy Approached near

To Him To Repeat His Errand, Slick Gave Him A Kick. 'Get Away. Here She

Goes, There She Goes.'

 

 

 

"The Boy Went Away Crying, And Soon Returned with Mrs. Slick, Who Cried

In An Angry Tone, 'Now, Don'T Make A Fool Of Yourself; The Gentleman You

Sold The Town-Lot To Is Below With The Money.'

 

 

 

"'They Shan'T Have Me, Though,' Said Slick To Himself. And To All The

Invectives And Reproaches Of Mrs. Slick He Answered only With, 'Here She

Goes? There She Goes.' At Last The Long Needle Marked the Half Hour, And

The Landlord, Having Won The Wager, Turned round.

 

 

 

"'Where Are They?' Said He To His Wife.

 

 

 

"'They?-Who Do You Mean?' Answered she.

 

 

 

"'The Two Gentlemen, To Be Sure.'

 

 

 

"'Why, They Have Been Gone These Last Twenty Minutes,'

 

 

 

"Slick Was Thunderstruck. 'And The Pocket-Book?' He Uttered,

Convulsively.

 

 

 

"His Wife Looked at Him With Ineffable Contempt.

 

 

 

"'Why, You Fool, You Did Not Give Them Your Money, Did You?'

 

 

 

"Slick Soon Discovered that He Was Minus Five Hundred dollars, Besides

The Price Of The Two Dinners. Since That Time He Never Bets But Cash

Down, And In the Presence Of Witnesses."

Chapter XXX

We Continued our Route For A Few Days After We Had Left The Buffaloes,

And Now Turned our Horses' Heads Due East. Having Left Behind The

Localities Frequented by The Wild Herds, We Soon Became Exposed to The

Cravings Of Hunger. Now And Then We Would Fall In with A Prairie Hen, A

Turkey, Or A Few Rattlesnakes, But The Deer And Antelopes Were So Shy,

That Though We Could See Them Sporting at A Distance, We Could Never

Come Within A Mile Of Them.

 

 

 

The Ground Was Level, And The Grass, Although Short, Was Excellent

Pasture, And Richly Enamelled with A Variety Of Flowers. It Was A

Beautiful Country. We Had Fine Weather During The Day, But The Nights

Were Exceedingly Cold, And The Dew Heavy. Having Lost Our Blankets, We

Passed miserable Nights. There Was No Fuel With Which We Could Light Our

Fire; Even The Dung Of Animals Was So Scarce That We Could Not, During

Seven Days, Afford To Cook Our Scanty Meals More Than Thrice, And The

Four Last Grouse That We Killed were Eaten Raw.

 

 

 

About The Middle Of The Eighth Day A Dark Line Was Seen Rising above The

Horizon, Far In the South-East, And Extending as Far As The Eye Could

Reach. We Knew It Was A Forest, And That When We Gained it We Were

Certain Of Having Plenty To Eat; But It Was Very Far Off, At Least

Twenty Miles, And We Were Much Exhausted. In the Evening We Were Almost

Driven To Desperation By Hunger, And We Found That The Approach To The

Forest Would Prove Long And Difficult, As It Was Skirted by A Bed of

Thick Briars And Prickly Pears, Which In breadth Could Not Be Less Than

Three Leagues, And That A Passage Must Be Forced through This Almost

Impassable Barrier. The Forest Was Undoubtedly The Commencement Of That

Extended line Of Noble Timber Which Encircles As A Kind Of Natural

Barrier The States Of Louisiana, Arkansas, And Missouri. By Reaching It

We Should Soon Leave Privation And Fatigue Behind Us, Whereas, On The

Contrary, Travelling To The North Would Have Added to Our Sufferings, As

The Same Level And Untenanted prairie Extended to The Very Shores Of The

Red river. We Consequently Determined to Force Our Way Through The

Thorns And Briars, Even If We Were Obliged to Cut A Road With Our Knives

And Tomahawks. We Journeyed on Till Sunset, When We Came To A Deep Dry

Gully, On The Very Edge Of The Prickly Pear Barrier, And There We

Encamped for The Night. To Go Farther Without Something To Eat Was

Impossible. The Wild And Haggard Looks Of My Companions, Their Sunken

Eyes, And Sallow, Fleshless Faces, Too Plainly Showed that Some

Subsistence Must Be Speedily Provided more Nutritious Than The Unripe

And Strongly Acidulated fruit Presented to Us. We Drew Lots, And The

Parson'S Horse Was Doomed; In a Few Minutes, His Hide Was Off, And A

Part Of The Flesh Distributed.

 

 

 

The Meat Of A Young Mustang Is Excellent, But That Of An Old Broken-Down

Horse Is Quite Another Affair. It Was As Tough As India-Rubber, And The

More A Piece Of It Was Masticated, The Larger It Became In the Mouth. A

Man Never Knows What He Can Eat, Until Driven To Desperation By A Week'S

Starving, And The Jolly Parson, Who Had Pledged himself Never To Eat

Even Calf'S Meat, Fiercely Attacked the Leathery Remains Of His

Faithful Ambler.

 

 

 

The Next Morning We Directed our Steps In a South Course, And Crossing

The Gully, We Entered in what Appeared to Be A Passage, Or A Bear'S Path

Through The Prickly Pears; But After Travelling Some Six Or Eight Miles,

We Found Our Further Progress Cut Off By A Deep And Precipitous Chasm,

Lined with Impassable Briars. To Return Was Our Only Alternative, And,

At Noon We Again Found Ourselves Near To The Point From Whence We Had

Started in the Morning.

 

 

 

A Consultation Was Now Held As To Our Future Course. The Lawyers And

Roche Proposed to Go Farther South, And Make Another Attempt, But

Recollecting, That On The Morning Of The Preceding Day We Had Passed a

Large, Though Shallow, Sandy Stream, Gabriel And I Thought It More

Advisable To Return To It. This Stream Was Evidently One Of The

Tributaries Of The Red river, And Was Running In an Easterly Direction,

And We Were Persuaded that It Must Flow Through The Chasm, And Enter

Into The Forest.

 

 

 

Our Proposal Was Agreed to, And Without Any More Loss Of Time, Each Of

Us Taking With Him A Piece Of Horse-Flesh, We Retraced our Steps. The

Parson Was On Foot, And Though I Proposed many Times That We Should Ride

Alternately, He Always Refused, Preferring Now To Travel On Foot, As He

Was Heartily Tired of Riding. Indeed, I Never Saw A Better Walker In my

Life; The Man Had Evidently Mistaken His Profession, For He Would, Have

Gained more Money With His Legs As An Indian Runner, Or A Scout, Than He

Had Any Chance Of Obtaining In the One To Which He Belonged, And For

Which He Was Most Unqualified.

 

 

 

The Next Day, At Noon, We Encamped on The Stream, And Though With Little

Hope Of Success, I Threw In my Fishing-Line, Baiting My Hook With

Horse-Flies And Grasshoppers. My Hooks Had Scarcely Sunk In the Water,

When The Bait Was Taken, And To My Astonishment And Delight, I Soon

Dragged out Of The Water Two Very Large Trout. I Shouted to My

Companions, Who Were Soon Round Me, And We Resolved to Pass The Night

There, As We Considered that A Good Meal Or Two Would Enable

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