Rob's Big Head - Mr. McConville (early readers txt) 📗

The most complete analysis to date on one of the most depressing figures in all of public education. - Howard Gardner

If you only have one book on R. Robert Bohn - and why would you? - it should be Mr. McConville's towering study of a very sad, sad man. - William Faulkner

If I had had more sepia toned photographs of R. Robert Bohn I would make a documentary about him myself. - Ken Burns

Chapter 1: Inauspicious Beginnings

To truly understand the origin of Robert Bohn we need to go back to a small farm on the eastern plains of Iowa. There, in a small shack in the middle of a cornfield over a century ago, his father, Jedidiah Bohn, was born. Jedidiah's parents were sharecroppers, blackland farmers in the Appalachian tradition, conspicuously out of place on the wide, flat expanses that make up the hawkeye state. Jedidiah was taught the value of hard work, but he eschewed this value, along with temperance and frugality, and ran away at fourteen. He joined a jugband in which he played washtub bass. It was his mother's washtub he eventually strummed eastward. In a final act of filial rebellion, under the guise of a moonless midwestern night, Jedidiah snuck out to the woodshed where his ma did the washing, took the one modern convenience his parents had afforded themselves, and unknowingly headed for the verdant hills of Vermont.

Chapter 2: A Family Takes Root

Jedidiah traveled with his jugband for less than two months before they stopped in Calais, Vermont to play at a summer festival for a rowdy sect of Quakers. It was here that Jedidiah fell in love with Sophia, a dairy farmer's daughter and the coroneted queen of the Central Vermont Headcheese Producers' annual "Charcouterie Days" court. Four months after Jedidiah first arrived in Calais, Sophia gave birth to a full term baby boy. Jedidiah could not have been more proud of his new son - Robert Robert Bohn.

Publication Date: 10-28-2009

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Dedication:
This book is dedicated to the legion of students who have had to deal with Mr. Bohn and his shenanigans over the course of his 17 year career.