Firmament Dopamine - Joel (top novels to read TXT) 📗

Hey was up? Is the talk of NY Jae! Please don't expect for my writing to be perfect because I have no goal what so ever to create a perfect book. This book is basically a draft of my life, you guys might find it interesting maybe because I'm such a "character" but anyhow, hope you enjoy it!

I was born in the 1987 in Brooklyn Ny, In an early morning, both parents from Mexico My father is from Tulcingo My mother is from the city they both met in the 1980's they met in a small village called Guadalupe Victoria in Mexico. My mother was only 16 years old and My father was about 5 years older than her when they both got married. My Father's father which makes it my grand father own many farms and properties in Mexico so everybody from the village thought my mother was with my father for money. In reality my mother had many problems at home with her family and she needed to be out the house because she felt very abused by my grandmother, so the only way for my mother to be out quick and come to New York City was getting married with my father. When my parents married they decided to come to New York City after like a year or so. They first moved in an old apartment by Knickerbocker Brooklyn in this old apartment like 9 other families lived. It was a very small apartment which consisted on one refrigerator and one bathroom for everybody. I lived in brooklyn for 2 years and then moved to the Bronx at Brook ave 138st. My godfather had told my mother about this cheap apartment with 2 rooms at the bronx and since we all lived in Brooklyn like sardines my parents decided to leave and get some privacy. When I first got to the Bronx I was about 3 years old it was filled with drugs and prostitution, many robberies, lots of shoot outs, many homeless people, crooked cops (before Giuliani) it was a total disaster a hell in heaven. My father worked at that time as a bagel maker in H&H bagels by 86st in the east side meanwhile my mother stood home taking care of me. My father loved me alot he was a great man in my eyes he never got me everything as in material but when it came for food it was more than enough. I remember one of his fist lessons was to never be to greedy you can have all the money in the world but never really get everything you want at once. At that time I never knew that my mother did not like my father at all and she had just kinda "used" him to live a better life. I really had no suspicious thought on my parents having any problems. Perhaps I was way to young in order to notice it and maybe to naive at that time. Both my parents went to sleep together ate together and of course we went out together so I mean come on, at age 3 who would really notice problems? However, there was time a I found my father looking through my mother's stuff while she was preparing dinner I remember I went inside the room to look for a my father that night and I saw him digging in my mother's box where she kept all the passports and important information once I saw that I ran to the kitchen and told my mother. My mother that night ran towards the room and caught my father trying to take some documents from her at the time I was really young to know what was going on but later on my mother told me that my father was trying to steal certain "papers" never knew what papers. That night my mother told my father that it was over at that point in time I was really sad I cried and begged my father not to leave I was with shorts and a white tank top. My father accepted my mother's decision and made the choice to leave the house as he left he had told me he was going to take me out every weekend and that he loved me very much he promised me that he would of never ever leave me and he was coming back to the house someday as he walked the door with two plastic bags filled with his clothing he told me to come with him but I loved my mother more than my father so I said no. I always carried that guilt inside of me that it was my fault that I made them split up. My father the next day after leaving my house he left to Mexico and never ever came back and we lost total communication. I cried every night for him and some how began hatting him for lying to me but alot of hate. My mother gave me lots of love and attention while my father was absent she would always hug me, kiss me and told me to never hate my father that my father loved me no matter what and she promised to be my father and mother. After my father left my mother started working in a factory putting together jeans for a korean she did not like it at all so after 8 months she found a job in front on my house in a small clothing store in 138st at the bronx it was called "victoria's fashion". I went to elementary school at 139st it was called P.S 40 it got shut down in the year 1999 (not so sure) for the lack of leadership. My first day of school was a real drag I was very shy but very smart I started making friends for the fact I would be the only kid in class to build the highest building with blocks somehow kids saw me as an entertainer. I was a real respectful kid in my very first day in the head start but also a very caring person. Our teacher would always explain how sharing was a very important thing to do she would always round the kids up in class and ask questions like "what would you do with $5.00" every kid answered they would buy toys and I was the only kid to say I would of bought some milk for my mother to take home my teacher hugged me at that time I was confused for the fact that would never happen I had no clue what I was or what I hate created nor what if I was wrong or right I was just being honest. At the time there was a racial war inside my school latin kids would stick together and african american kids would stick together so things got violent when we would go outside for recess. All my friends were latinos and we would play surside, handball and kickball surside was a game where you throw the ball against a wall and whoever catches it gets to hit the person who threw it before the person that threw the ball first touched the wall confusing right? Any who, my friends and I had lots of fun playing but I remember this one time our ball hit some black kid and all his friends got really violent and we started fighting it was latin kids against black kids and if you think about it we were only 6 or 7 years old. The fights continued sometimes it was latin girls against black girls latin boys against black boys and so on there was always a fight on recess, teachers would not really care they would just cut all our recess privilages like for a week as a punishment. I started learning that protecting yourself at all times was a way on living in this world, my first fight was with some black kid I grabbed him by his ears and began banging his head into the gate I guess he thought he could of pick on me or something because he just came up to me and wanted to act tough in front of his friends I was only 7 or 8 years old. My mother would drop me off to school everyday but some how I always wanted to do things on my own so when I got to first grade I told her I could of gone to school on my own I remember that morning she was sleeping and told me watch the traffic light and wait till is green dont cross the street even if there is chance you could cross because cars might hit you I understood her correctly and I did as she told. In first grade all my friends from head start was there I was placed in a bilingual class for the fact that my mother wanted me to conserve my spanish and not only speak english so I felt very happy and welcomed. My teacher was Ms hunter the sweetiest person ever it felt so bad behaving bad with her for the fact that she was so fragil and so lovable so we always did what she told us to do. I think Ms hunter could not have any children for the fact she was really old and loved kids but had no kids on her own so it made it type suspicious. First grade was a pieace of cake very easy math very easy history everything in school was so easy I was in honor roll and my mother would get so happy everytime my teacher would tell her I was a very smart kid (who knows maybe she told that to every mother). I would always hear rumors by older kids that the second grade teacher was real mean and at times while going to bathroom I would hear her scream to kids making me not never want to leave the first grade. My mother at this time was working most of the time so whenever I got home she was never there so what I used to do is watch TV and do my homework. Whenever I would get hungry I would eat egg sandwiches for he fact that was the only thing I knew how to cook. Life was very easy for me I had forgotten about my father and I felt really happy I just felt lonely because I had no brothers or sisters I was an only child. My mother would go out on dates occasionally with guys I would always go with her for the fact that she felt that she believed that if a man was to love her had to love me also. My mother would always tell me about how some women are so arrogant for the fact that they forget about their children just to go out with a man. I never quite understood the whole term about "forgetting" but once I got older I realized things. Whenever my mom would take me on dates with her friends I would listen to everything the guy would say to my mother as i called "flirting" and I would get feedback from my mother whether she liked what she heard or disliked the guy at all. I was about 10 years old at the time and I was getting first hand